


I Would Rather Fight With You...

by Lyri



Series: I'd Rather Fight With You... [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-08
Updated: 2013-10-10
Packaged: 2017-12-28 20:45:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 58,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/996481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyri/pseuds/Lyri





	1. Chapter 1

  
Jensen Ackles marked off his clipboard, locking the door of the cabin behind him. He had one more cabin to check, to make sure the beds were all still in one piece, and nothing had curled up and died in the intervening months, and then he could relax for a while, play some video games with Tom or something until the newbies arrived.

He’d been at Camp Chitaqua for almost a week. He drove up from school with Tom an hour after his last final. And while Tom had done nothing but sleep in the main house for those entire six days, coming out only to eat and pee, Jensen had spent most of the time getting the camp ready for the summer.

Jensen and his best friends, Chris Kane, Tom Welling and Danneel Harris, had been coming to the camp since they were little kids. The camp’s owners, Jeff and Samantha, were like family; he’d spent every summer with them since he was nine years old. The camp and the surrounding town were his home away from home. Jensen had more childhood memories at the camp than in his own backyard, so deciding to return to the camp as a counselor had been a no brainer for Jensen, although it had taken another year to convince Tom, Chris and Danneel to do the same.

It still didn’t make sense to Jensen why Jeff and Sam would ask him to start work a few days earlier than the other counselors, but he just figured it had something to do with him being head counselor this year, although he didn’t remember his brother Josh ever coming up so early when he’d been head counselor, although it had been almost six year since Josh’s time as a counselor.

Still, it wasn’t like he was stuck at camp alone until the other counselors arrived. Yeah, it sucked that Chris and Steve had decided to tour the West Coast for the summer with their band, and Danneel had finals, so she couldn’t come down any earlier than she was really needed, but it was nice to just hang with Tom. They rarely got to spend any time together, what with Tom being off at UT Dallas, and Jensen and Chris at STU, and Danneel stuck in California at UCLA was something he didn’t like to dwell on. Even after almost four years, Jensen still wasn’t used to not having Tom and Danneel just _there_ when he wanted to hang. Plus, Tom had a pretty serious girlfriend, who sucked up most of his free time, so it was a nice change of pace to kick back, just the two of them, and reconnect in a way they hadn’t since high school.

Camp Chitaqua was the only real time the four of them got to spend together anymore, and now that Chris had decided to go off and tour with Steve, it was just one more thing that was changing. Jensen felt something unpleasant roll in his stomach at the thought of next year possibly being his last year at camp with Tom and Danneel.

Climbing the steps to cabin number four, Jensen paused as a low rumble pierced the tranquil silence of the empty camp.

Jensen turned on the top step and watched an old 1950’s red pickup truck drive slowly into the parking lot, parking next to Jeff’s Jeep.

“Newbie,” Jensen mumbled under his breath, as he unlocked the cabin door and went inside.

He coughed and waved his hand in front of his face, dispersing the dust that his feet had kicked up. The place smelled damp and musty. The four sets of bunk beds were covered with cobwebs, and there was something lying in the corner next to the counselor’s bed that Jensen was pretty sure used to be alive. There was a pair of boxer shorts stuck to the ceiling and streamers of toilet paper hanging from the beams.

“I’m going to fucking kill Chris,” Jensen spat, looking around. Chris had been assigned cabin four last year. Jensen didn’t even want to know how he managed to pass last inspections, unless he’d paid off Tom or Danneel to lie to James, last year’s head counselor.

“If this is the real reason he decided not to come back this year, I’m going to throw his fucking guitar out the window when I get back to school,” Jensen growled under his breath. Chris and Jensen shared a small apartment on campus, owned by the University, which kept the rent low, but not low enough that he could live by himself, unfortunately.

Jensen glared at the state of the cabin one last time, and made a note on his clipboard, before turning on his heel and walking out, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket as he went.

_‘I serusly feel lik makin u drive up here 2 clean ths shit up’ he typed quickly, sending the text off to Chris._

_‘I was gonna tell u bout tht :)’_

_‘No u weren’t u fuckin liar, now I have 2 spend the next few hours cleaning up ur mess. Thanx a lot, Chris. I’m gonna cut ur balls off the next time I C U.’_

_‘Nxt tme u c me will b the day I get bck. I’m hoping u’ll have 4gotten by thn. :)’_

_‘Not a chance, asswipe. I’ll get u 4 this!!!’_

Jensen flipped his phone closed and shoved it back into the pocket of his cargo pants. He heaved a deep sigh. He’d been looking forward to a little down time, a few hours to himself before the rest of the counselors arrived and he had to induct the newbies. Now it looked like he was going to spend that time cleaning up after Christian Kane, the same thing he’d been doing since he was twelve years old, and his friend had been the new kid in school who got on the wrong side of the bullies. Of course, Chris being Chris, he got on the wrong side of the bullies on purpose. But it was still Jensen and Tom who picked up the pieces and took care of Chris’ bloody nose so his mother wouldn’t see.

“Some things never change,” he said with a wry chuckle, making his way across the parking lot to the main house. He hoped to guilt Tom into giving him a hand for a little while.

He stopped short in the middle of the parking lot. Standing next to the battered pickup was the most beautiful person Jensen had ever seen.

The guy was tall, well over six feet, with crown of messy dark hair that Jensen was suddenly itching to run his fingers through. He wore a light grey t-shirt that stretched over the defined muscles of his chest and shoulders, well worn jeans, with holes in the knees and frayed at the cuffs, and black flips flops. A pair of black aviators covered his eyes.

Jensen felt his mouth go dry, his heart rate speed up, his breathing become erratic. He started to panic.

Jensen had known for a few years that he was more than likely bisexual, but he’d never been attracted to a ‘real’ guy. All of his crushes, if that were what they could be called, had been on celebrities, men like Jake Gylenhaal and Randy Orton. Not random guys he saw standing in the middle of parking lots.

As he continued to stare, the new counselor, at least that’s who Jensen assumed he was, noticed him and pushed his sunglasses up on top of his head, scraping his bangs away and exposing his face for Jensen to stare at. He gave Jensen a warm smile, and Jensen felt his heart break a little bit. The guy was so fucking gorgeous and he didn’t even know it.

He reached into the bed of his pickup and pulled out a black duffle bag, causing his muscles to strain under the thin fabric of his t-shirt as he hefted it onto his shoulder. Jensen’s heart rate kicked up another gear.

Jensen could do nothing as the guy started to almost bounce across the parking lot to him, grinning like an idiot the whole way. Jensen found it adorable.

“Hey, hi. Wow, I thought I was the only one here,” he said almost breathlessly. He held his hand out to Jensen. “I’m Jared. Jared Padalecki. Don’t worry about trying to pronounce it, not many people can, but I’ll teach you.”

When Jensen just stared at him, ignoring his hand completely, Jared’s smile faded a little and he pulled it back. “So, uh, are you a counselor here, too? Can’t tell you how excited I am to be here. This is the first time I’ve ever done something like this, you know? But I’m looking forward to the challenge.”

Still, Jensen said nothing. He was too busy debating whether or not Jared Whatever-His-Name-Was was on drugs.

Jared frowned. “Can you maybe tell me where reception or whatever is? I’m supposed to go see Jeff and Sam, get the official introduction or whatever.”

Jensen blinked at him. What the hell was wrong with his mouth? Or maybe it was his brain that was malfunctioning, because he seriously couldn’t think of a single thing to say to the god-like creature standing in front of him.

The other man chuckled. “Sorry, was that question too hard for you or something?”

Jensen snapped. Apparently, this guy was beautiful, but he was a jackass. Jensen could work with that. He could deal with people who’s personality doesn’t live up to their looks. Katie was more than proof that pretty packages don’t always contain pretty things.

“What the hell do I look like, a fucking secretary?”

Jared took a step back, shocked. He gave a nervous laugh and reached up to scratch at the back of his neck. “Well, um, the clipboard was a clue?”

“Fuck you, man,” Jensen threw at him.

Jared held up his hands in surrender, an embarrassed frown creasing his strong features. “Sorry, man. It was just a joke. Really.”

Jensen scowled. “Whatever.”

With his head held high, he stepped around the man-mountain and made his way towards the main house, promising himself he wouldn’t lose his cool until he was out of sight of one Jared What’s-His-Name.

 

“I need you to go clean out cabin four,” Jensen said, throwing open the door of the room Tom had been camped out in for the last six days.

Tom looked up from his seat on the couch, where he was throwing gummi bears into his mouth. “Who died and made you the boss?”

“Jeff. I’m head counselor, remember?”

“Dude, that doesn’t make you the boss of me. That makes you the boss of the stupid fuckers who don’t know how this place runs,” Tom said with a laugh, relaxing back into the couch. “I got this place wired, man. You can’t tell me to do shit. Make Misha do it.”

“Misha’s not here yet, and I’ve got shit to do before the inductions start.”  
“Sucks to be you, man.”

“Dude, clean out cabin four, or I’ll tell Danneel that it was you who hung her bras from the flag pole last year.”

Tom squawked, jumping from the couch to face Jensen. “Chris helped! It was his idea!”

“Chris isn’t here,” Jensen said. He ran his hands over his face. “Please, just do it, Tom.”

Tom frowned at him. “Hey, man, are you alright?”

“I’m fine, just having a bad morning, and Chris hasn’t made it any easier.”

Tom laughed. “What did Chris do now?”

“Wait ‘til you see cabin four, then you’ll understand.”

Tom sighed loudly. “Alright, man, I’ll do it. But you owe me.”

Jensen looked at him thoughtfully and narrowed his eyes. “Fine, what do you want?”

“Cabin eight, nine or ten.”

“Those are the smallest cabins.”

“Hence the reason why I want one,” Tom said with a smirk. “A smaller cabin means less campers, means Tom has an easier summer.”

Jensen looked down at his clipboard, flipped over a couple of pages. The newbies were assigned to the smaller cabins, designed to hold four kids instead of eight. The theory being the less kids they had to look after, the easier they could get acclimated to how things worked, and the more likely they were to come back the next year. It was how it had always been. Even Jensen himself had been assigned a smaller cabin during his first official summer as a counselor, even though he’d been a camper since he was nine years old. He already knew how things ran like he knew his own address, thanks to his older brother, Josh. Taking a smaller cabin away from a newbie was like throwing them into the deep end.

His thoughts drifted back to the guy he’d left standing in the parking lot, the guy whose warm smile was burned into his mind.

Jensen smiled, but there wasn’t much warmth in it.

“Alright man, you got yourself a deal.”

Tom laughed and high fived him. “Awesome.” He blew past Jensen, probably to find some supplies to clean out the cabin with. “See? Fucking wired, man!”

Taking a deep breath, Jensen threw himself down onto the couch, and made a note on his clipboard of the changes in cabin assignments.

He knew it was a shitty thing to do, leaving Jared with a regular sized cabin, with eight healthy, boisterous teenage boys, especially considering Jared had just told him he’d never done anything like this before.

But Jensen just couldn’t, for some reason, find it within himself to stop, to undo what he’d done.  
He’d acted like a douche to Jared, he knew that, even after he’d apologized for his bad joke, and he knew that having a crush on the guy was not an excuse to treat him like garbage.

But, Jensen just didn’t know if he was going to be able to stop.

Jensen didn’t do crushes, he couldn’t even remember the last time he’d had a crush. Probably Danneel back in middle school. Crushing on someone was not something he did, he was attracted, sure, and normally, he’d fuck the girl and forget about her, but whatever was gurgling in his stomach was not lust, not attraction. It was something else. Something powerful and real and consuming.

Jensen was fucking terrified.

  
  
 

  
Jared chewed on his lower lip as he gazed around at all the buildings that apparently made up the camp. He was a little intimidated to say the least, and his lack of a warm welcome from the angry secretary-man had made him seriously question his summer time career choice.

He had no idea why he’d decided to spend the summer working at a camp. It wasn’t like he’d ever done anything like it before. He had never even been to camp as a camper, never mind as a counselor. He had no idea how things ran, or what was to be expected of him. He had assumed that the other counselors would be friendly people who would help him get settled in and teach him what he needed to know.

Maybe he was wrong about that.

“Hey, Newbie.”

Jared turned at the sound of the voice, and saw a tall guy with dark, almost black hair, making his way across the parking lot, carrying what looked to be cleaning supplies. He gave Jared a bright smile.

Jared felt himself relax a little. He settled his duffle bag more firmly on his shoulder and threw the guy a small wave. “Uh, hey,” he said softly. “I’m Jared.”

“Tom Welling,” the guy said, reaching him. He held out his hand and Jared shook it, grateful that this guy apparently had manners. “So, you’re one of our virgins, huh?”

Jared chuckled. “Yeah, I guess I am.” He studied Tom for a second, took in his natural stance. “Have you been here before?”

Tom nodded. “Been coming to this camp since I was a kid. Only made sense to stick around as a counselor. No one knows this place as well as we do.”

 

“We?”  
Tom nodded. “Me, Jensen, and Danneel. We’ve been coming here since we were nine years old. We’re like part of the furniture around here. Jeff and Sam can’t get rid of us. But don’t worry, it’s not like you’ll be left out of our clique,” he laughed. “We got a few new guys this year, you’ll be fine.”

Jared scratched the back of his head. “Yeah, I am kinda worried about fitting in here, ‘specially after my less than warm welcome.” Tom’s expression turned to hurt and Jared was quick to correct himself. “Oh, no, not you. The other guy.”

Tom frowned at him. “What other guy?”

Jared shrugged. “The one with the huge chip on his shoulder that marched towards the house with a clipboard.”

“Jensen?” Tom seemed shocked. “What did he say to you?”

“You mean besides the swearing and the rudeness? Absolutely nothing.”

“Jensen swore at you?” Tom’s shock was bumped up to outrage. “We sure we’re talking about the same guy here?”

“Light brown hair, black t-shirt, cargo pants?” Tom nodded and Jared shrugged again. “Same guy.”

“I knew he was having a bad day, but I don’t know what could have upset him so much that he’d be so rude to you. I’m sorry, that’s not the way to welcome someone new to the staff.” Tom took a step to his left to look around Jared and the cabin behind him. “If that place is bad enough to make Jensen that pissy, I am going to cut Chris’s dick off and feed it to him. Slowly.”

Jared laughed. “What?”

“Apparently, our old friend Chris, who isn’t returning to camp this year, too busy off touring with his band, has left cabin number four in a less than desirable state. Probably got distracted by Danneel breathing or something.”

At that, a shiny red sports car pulled into the parking lot and Tom smiled.

“Speaking of the red head.”

Jared watched the huge smile that adorned Tom’s face as they waited for the newcomer to get out of the car. She wore a short denim skirt, a tight black tank top and strappy high heeled shoes. She was not what Jared imagined the counselors at the camp would look like. She looked as though she was too scared of chipping her manicured nails to really be a useful member of the staff.

“My prince!” She exclaimed, running to Tom.

“Ah, my queen, it has been too long,” Tom said in a horrible English accent. He threw his arms around the girl as soon as she reached him, lifting her off the ground and spinning her around. She giggled as she slapped him on the shoulders, asking to be set down.

Tom set her back on her feet, but she didn’t release her hold, if anything, she only tightened her grip. “I’ve missed you,” she said, her voice suddenly serious. Jared could only smile. They were apparently great friends.

“I’ve missed you, too, Dani,” Tom whispered, kissing her hair. He pulled back to look at her, tucking a stray strand behind her ear. “How’s Hollywood?”

The girl rolled her eyes. “It’s not Hollywood, dumb ass. UCLA isn’t nearly as glamorous, but I’m loving every second of it.”

She looked around, her eyes landing on Jared for the first time, but she turned back to Tom before he could introduce himself. Jared rolled his eyes. It looked as though Jensen wasn’t going to be the only prima donna at the camp.

“So,” she said to Tom. “Where are my king and court jester?”

“Your king is in a grump. I left him sulking in the house,” Tom said, jerking a thumb over his shoulder. “And your court jester bowed out this year.”

“What?!” she shrieked. “He didn’t tell me!”

Tom laughed. “He’s too scared of you kicking his ass, that’s why.”

“What’s he doing?”

“He’s touring with Steve. Said he’s got some dates lined up in California just before they have to head back for school starting, so he’s gonna stop by.”

She crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. “He better. Otherwise I really will kick his ass. Again.”

With a smile, she turned back to face Jared and held her hand out. “So, now that I got all the old friends stuff out of the way, I think it’s time to make some new ones. I’m Danneel Harris.”

Jared grinned at her, slightly embarrassed at misjudging her. “Jared Padalecki.”

“Wow, kind of a mouthful, there. You’ll have to teach me.” She winked at him.

“Wait, Padalecki?” Tom asked.

Jared frowned. “Uh, yeah?” He wasn’t sure why he made it a question.

“Are you Megan’s brother?”

“You know Megan?” Really, this guy was way too old to be friends with his little sister.

Tom laughed. “Yeah, she lives in my building. She’s an awesome girl.” His laugh grew louder. “Megan and my girlfriend are, like, total bff’s, or, you know, whatever.” Tom blushed.

Jared smiled. “Mackenzie’s your girlfriend?” He’d met Mackenzie once or twice when she’d come to visit Megan, she was a nice girl.

Danneel laughed and Tom made a strangled sound in his throat. “Um, no, not Mackenzie. Think Jensen would have cut my balls off for dating his little sister.”

Jared wrinkled his nose. Apparently, Mackenzie had better manners than her brother.  
“Oh, you must mean Rosie, then?” Jared had never met Rosie, but he’d heard Megan talk about her a lot, mostly while on the phone to Mackenzie. And Tom, apparently. It was really insane, this whole six degrees of separation he’d suddenly found himself in the middle of.

He watched as a blush Tom’s face got darker and he gave Danneel a startled look out of the corner of his eye. “Um, yeah. Yeah, Rosie.”

“Don’t even think I’m letting you get away with that,” Danneel said, before spinning in her heel to face Jared. “So, you’re one of our newbies, huh?” she asked, obviously not happy with conversation she couldn’t involve herself in. “Don’t worry, this place is great, I’m sure you’ll fit right in.”

“So far, almost everyone’s been really nice.”

Danneel raised an eyebrow at him. “Almost everyone?”

“Like I said,” Tom answered before he could. “Jensen’s in a grump.”

“Humph, I’ll sort him out,” Danneel said with a mischievous smile. She wobbled a little on her high heels, her arm flying out to grab Jared’s bicep to keep herself upright. Her eyes grew wide. “Wow, someone works out.” Jared blushed. Danneel looked down at her shoes. “You know, I may be a high flying design student and have to dress the part, but I will never get used to these shoes. Excuse me.”

Jared moved to stand next to Tom and watched as Danneel popped the trunk of her car and disappeared behind it. After a few minutes, she stepped back into view, dressed in khaki shorts and black Chuck Taylors. He pulled her long red hair into a pony tail, laughing at Jared’s expression. “I’m just full of contradictions.”

Jared laughed. “I can see that.”

Danneel fixed her hair, and then placed her hands on her hips as she looked at them both. “Okay, so, anyone else here?”

Tom shook his head. “Apart from me and Jensen and Jared here, you’re the first to arrive.”

Danneel clapped her hands. “Awesome,” she said in a sing-song voice. “I’m going to bribe Jensen for cabin three.”

“Whoa, cabin three? What’s so special about cabin three?”

Danneel’s eyes twinkled. “Let’s just say it holds some good memories for me and Chris.”

Jared watched as Tom’s eyes bugged. “You and Chris?! Seriously?!”

“You will never know,” Danneel winked.

“Hey, do me a favor and drop Jared off with Jeff and Sam. He probably has forms and stuff to fill out.” Tom clapped Jared on the shoulder. “I’ll catch you later, Jay.”

Jared nodded. “Yeah, later. It was nice meeting you.”

Jared fell into step beside Danneel and they made their way towards the main house.

 

  
  
 

  
The rest of the counselors had started to arrive over the next few hours after Jensen had left Jared standing in the middle of the parking lot, and by the time Jensen left to pick up Kristin from the bus station, everyone was there.

The first two days of camp for the counselors, before the campers arrived, was spent getting things ready, beds had to be made, repairs had to be done, and new counselors had to be inducted.

It was that last one that Jensen was most worried about.

As head counselor, it was his job to make sure the newbies were ready for what the summer would bring, to make sure they knew what they were getting themselves into, and unlike cabin four, Jensen couldn’t pass this job off to Tom.

Apart from Jared, the camp had two other new recruits for the summer, Genevieve Cortese, an English major from Idaho, and Vincent ‘Vinnie’ Kartheiser, a friend of Danneel’s from UCLA.

“Alright,” he said, once he’d finished giving the three newbies the grand tour. “Um, Genevieve, you’re in cabin nine, Vinnie, you got cabin ten, and Jared, you’re in cabin six.”

“Uh, is there a reason Jared’s cabin is larger than ours?” Genevieve asked, and Jensen scraped a hand back through his hair.

“Yeah, well, here’s the thing,” he took a deep breath. For some reason, he didn’t want to lie to the new kids, but telling them the whole truth was definitely out of the question. “There was a bet, or a deal, with Tom. He did something for me, for the camp, and the trade off was that he got one of the smaller cabins. Jeff and I talked it through, and we decided that Jared would be able to handle a full cabin without too much bother, so…yeah.”

The three new counselors exchanged a look.

“Sucks to be you, man,” Vinnie laughed.

“Wait, what?” Jared said, taking a step closer to Jensen. “So, I’m getting landed with a larger cabin because you and your friend made some sort of bet or scam or something to give him a smaller cabin, even though he’s been coming here for fucking ever? That’s bullshit, man.”

“Look, I didn’t plan on this happening, Jared. It just did.”

Jared laughed, loud and brittle. “Sure you didn’t. I don’t know what I did to piss you off, but this whole boss man act is fucking lame, man.”

“Well, you know what, Jared? Fuck you, because I am the boss man,” Jensen spat as he closed the distance between himself and Jared until there was nothing between them. He looked up into Jared’s stormy eyes and resented both the fact that he had to look up, and that Jared had fucking pretty eyes. “This is my camp, and you follow my rules.” He smirked. “But if that’s a problem for you, then don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way outta town.”

Jared glared at Jensen. “I can handle a larger cabin, eight boys. No problem. Piece of cake.”

“Oh, so you think this is gonna be easy, do you?” Jensen asked, his anger growing.

“I didn’t say it was gonna be easy, Jensen. I just said I could handle it. Hell, anything you can handle, I’m sure won’t be a problem for me.”

“Yeah? Well, I guarantee you won’t be saying that when Tom and I are kicking your ass in the Camp Cup.”

Jared’s laugh was loud and bright and completely genuine this time, and Jensen realized that he loved the sound of it.

“That sounds like a challenge, Jen. You’re on.”

He snorted. “Please, I wouldn’t lower my cabin’s standards enough to seriously compete with yours. That’s like child abuse.” Jensen turned and walked away towards the mess hall. “And don’t call me ‘Jen’.”

 

  
  
 

  
See, the thing was, Jared liked Jensen.

He was a nice guy when he wasn’t being a grade A jackass, which, admittedly, only seemed to be when he spoke to Jared directly. So the rest of the time, Jared was able to sit back and observe.

He watched Jensen with his campers, and he could tell that Jensen was good at what he did. It confused Jared to find out that Jensen’s degree was in physical therapy when clearly he should be working with kids, maybe even a child psychologist, which was what Jared was leaning towards, the more time he spent at the camp.

But Danneel said there was a story behind the physical therapy thing, one Jared obviously wasn’t privy to. It was really just something to fall back on now, since, according to Danneel, there was a rumor going around that Jeff and Sam wanted Jensen to take over the camp as soon as he was finished with college.

Jared tried not to think too much about Jensen being the boss. It was clear, to everyone, that Jensen didn’t like Jared. At all. If he was running the camp next year, Jensen would be in charge of the counselors. He might decide that he didn’t want Jared on his team.

The thought made something in Jared’s stomach roll uneasily.

He’d only been at the camp for three weeks, he was still getting used to things, but he was already thinking about whether or not he wanted to do this again the next year. The thought of starting over, at some other camp, didn’t really sound all that appealing. Going through training all over again seemed stupid and pointless, so Jared decided that making Jensen like him was his top priority.

But no matter how hard he tried to be friendly towards him, Jensen just seemed to pull further and further away.

“Dude, you have to let this go,” Misha said to him one day when their boys were playing soccer.

From the sidelines, Jared looked over at him from the corner of his eye. “Let what go?”

“This insane mission of trying to make Jensen like you.”

“It’s not a mission,” Jared huffed, his eyes on the game. “Bradley, we are not here to pummel people!” he yelled as one of his boys body checked a boy from Misha’s cabin. “Take it easy.”

“You can’t force someone to like you, Jay,” Misha said. “If Jensen has an issue with you, that’s his business. Nothing you can do about it.”

Jared sighed. “That’s just it, I don’t even know if he does have an issue with me. I mean, if I’ve done something wrong, why can’t he just tell me so that I can apologize?”

“Are you sure it’s something you’ve done?” Misha asked. Jared could see a twinkle in his eye that he couldn’t place.

“Well, what else could it be?”

Misha chuckled darkly, “No idea.”

Jared thought that the older guy probably knew exactly what was going on.

He ran a hand back through his unruly hair. He should really get a haircut. “I’m just sick of walking on eggshells around the guy. I never know how he’s gonna react from one minute to the next.”

Misha laughed, “Is it really so important that Jensen likes you?”

Jared shrugged, “I don’t know. It’s just, everyone seems to think he’s such an awesome guy, but he never speaks two words to me unless he’s ripping into me about something.”

“He’s pretty okay,” Misha said quietly. “I mean, I’m not singing the guy’s praises every chance I get, but yeah, he’s cool.”

“Tom and Danneel and Kristin seem to think the sun shines outta the guy’s backside. But all I see is a moody bastard who can’t even be bothered to be polite to the new people.”

“He’s okay with Vinnie and Genevieve,” Misha muttered.

“You are not helping, Misha.”

“Look, why can’t you just let this go?” Misha said, turning away from the game to face Jared head on. “If the guy is being this much of a dick, then he clearly isn’t worth this much worrying. Just take the good and let the bad just float right on by.”

Jared blinked at him. “I didn’t realize you were so Zen, man.”

“I have many layers. Like a parfait.”

Jared chuckled, “More like an onion, dude.” He sighed and ran his fingers back through his hair. “I dunno, man, maybe you’re right.”

Misha smirked. “Of course I am. So what are you gonna do?”

“If I wasn’t so sure that I could actually be friends with the guy, if he gave me half a chance, I’d forget about him and get on with my job.” Jared took a deep breath and shook his head. “Right now, I’m gonna try and get my boys to shower before dinner. Failing that, at least put on some deodorant.”

“Tell me about it,” Misha said with a chuckle.

“Were we this bad as kids? I don’t remember an aversion to showering.”

“Hello, handsome boys.”

Jared and Misha turned to see Danneel sauntering towards them, a huge smile on her face.

“Uh oh,” Misha said, backing away. “She wants something. I know that smile. Run! Before she corners you! Run, man!” He turned and ran into the middle of the field, ending the game.

It was almost time for dinner anyway.

“What’s up, Dani?” Jared asked.

Danneel was still glaring daggers at Misha, but she turned back to Jared when he spoke and her smile was back in place. “You’re really tall.”

Jared laughed, “What gave me away?”

“One of my girls hit the volley ball up onto the roof of our cabin.” She batted her eyelashes at him. “You think you can get it down?”

“Where’s Tom?” Jared inquired. Tom was the closest person to his height at the camp, just an inch or two shorter than Jared’s six foot four, and Jared knew that Jensen and Danneel would turn to Tom before him.

“Dinner duty,” Danneel answered with a pout. “So, will you help me?”

Feeling a little like a last resort, Jared nevertheless smiled down at Danneel, then looked back at the field. “Misha, try and make my boys shower.”

Misha snorted. “Don’t hold your breath.”

“Lead the way, Dani.”

She giggled happily as she led him back across the camp to the cabins.

“You take that back, you little tramp!”

“What’s wrong, Laura? Can’t handle a little competition?”

The voices filtered through the open windows of Danneel’s cabin and Jared looked down at the red head and watched as she rolled her eyes.

“Everything okay in there?”

Ignoring him, Danneel stormed away, up the steps. “I swear, if they’re still arguing over which one of them gets Jensen and which one of them gets you, I’m going to dye all their hair green while they’re sleeping!” She disappeared inside the cabin, slamming the door behind her, and Jared could hear her yelling at the girls to shut the hell up.

Shaking his head, Jared spotted the volley ball on the edge of the roof. He climbed up on the railing of the steps and stretched high, knocking it free. He turned awkwardly and watched as the ball rolled across the grass and past Jensen, who was talking animatedly into a cell phone, ignoring the ball completely.

The ball forgotten, Jared twisted his body so that he could continued to watch Jensen, who was blissfully unaware of his presence as he threw his head back and laughed loudly at whoever he was talking to, exposing the long column of his throat.

Continuing to stare, Jared let his eyes roam over Jensen’s body, noticing for the first time that Jensen was wearing nothing but a pair of black cargo shorts, exposing a lot of toned, tanned flesh.  
Jared felt all the blood in his body rush to a certain point, a point that was decidedly further south that his brain.

“Oh…” he said quietly, twisting more to keep Jensen in his sights. His foot twisted on the railing and he lost his balance. “Oh, shit!” he yelled as he fell off the railing, landing hard on the grass below.

He lay there, staring up at the blue sky, trying to figure out what the hell was going on, and wondering why no one came to his rescue.

Suddenly, a face appeared in his field of vision, staring at him in confusion.

“Jay? Are you okay?” Tom asked, clearly concerned.

Jared groaned and sat up. “I’m fine, I think.” _At least physically. Mentally on the other hand…_

“Did you pass out or something?”

“No, I did not pass out!” Jared yelled. “I was helping Danneel with something and I fell off the railing.” Tom held out his hand and Jared took it gratefully and allowed Tom to haul him to his feet. “Thanks.” He narrowed his eyes at the other man. “What are you doing out here, anyway? Dani said you were on dinner duty.”

Tom pointed to his t-shirt and the brown gravy stain covering the front. “Just came out to change my shirt.”

Jared stretched his back, checking for injuries and Tom frowned at him again.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

Jared nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Tom gave him one last concerned look before turning towards his cabin. “See you at dinner,” he threw over his shoulder.

Jared waited until Tom was well inside his cabin before he turned and looked around, his eyes seeking out Jensen, where he leaned against the jetty, looking out over the lake, and Jared stared, struck dumb at just how beautiful Jensen looked standing there.

He debated the insanity of running to his cabin to fetch his camera, because, fuck if that image didn’t make a gorgeous photo and Jared sort of wanted to keep it.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he continued to stare.

So, apparently, Jared _liked_ Jensen.


	2. I'd Rather Fight With You...2

Jared wasn’t freaking out. He wasn’t.

So, he thought another guy was hot, so what?

Didn’t mean he wanted to do anything about it.

Except, every time he saw Jensen he couldn’t help staring, which led to thinking, and then he had to leave the room really fast before anyone noticed the bulge in his pants.

Okay, so maybe he was freaking out a little.

Not because he was homophobic or anything, God no, it was just…he’d never had a crush on a guy before, he’d always had girlfriends.

That wasn’t to say he didn’t think he could never find another man attractive, he’d just always assumed that the guy would have to be something pretty special to turn his head.

Not Jensen fucking Ackles.

Okay, so the guy isn’t exactly ugly, Jared already knew that, but he was a complete douche. Why would anyone in their right mind be attracted to such an obvious asshole?

Maybe that’s it. Maybe he was losing his mind.

“Am I going nuts?” he asked Kristin at breakfast.

Kristen studied him for a moment before shaking her head. “No more than the rest of us.” She swallowed a bite of her oatmeal. “Why?”

He glanced at Jensen out of the corner of his eye. He was sitting at the other end of the table, bracketed by Danneel and Tom, as usual, but this time Misha was firmly planted in the middle of their little clique. Jared tried not to think about the pang of jealousy in his stomach.

“Jay?”

He turned back to Kristin and saw the amused look on her face and he realized he’d zoned out.

He’d been doing that a lot over the last few weeks.

“Sorry,” he mumbled into his orange juice.

“Jared, what is going on with you?” Kristin asked, but there was laughter in her voice, so Jared kinda figured she didn’t suspect anything serious. “You’ve been acting weird for weeks now. I’m beginning to think it’s unrequited love.”

“What?!” he said, too quickly. “Why would you even think that? I’m not in love. There is no love, unrequited or otherwise.”

“Aw, are you crushing on someone?” She bounced in her seat. “Oh, my God, you so are, aren’t you? Who is it? Is it Danneel? It’s totally Danneel.”

Jared smirked at her. “What makes you think it’s not you?”

Kristin rolled her eyes. “Please, it’s not me. I passed into the ‘friend zone’ on the second day.” She made silly air quotes with her fingers.

Jared gave her an apologetic smile. “Sorry, pretty little blondes just aren’t my type.” _Tall, well built, brunettes on the other hand…_

“Eh, you’re not my type either.” Kristin glared at him. “I will find out who it is, you know.”

Jared shook his head. “There is no crush, Kris. I’m just trying to figure something out.”

“Well, what is it? Maybe I can help.”

Jared took a deep breath. He wasn’t really planning on telling anyone about his birthday, but if it got Kristin off his back about his crush, it would be worth it. “It’s my birthday next week, and I’m trying to figure out when would be the best time to ask Jensen for the day off.”

Kristin squealed excitedly. “Oh, seriously?! It’s my birthday soon, too. We should totally have a party.”

“Kris, Jensen hates me,” Jared reminded. “I doubt he’ll even give me my birthday off, never mind throw me a party.”

Kristin waved her hand, blowing him off. “I’ll work on Jensen. He’s not gonna have you working on your birthday. He’s probably already given you the day off.”

Jared decided not to tell her that Jensen didn’t give him a day off at all for the first two weeks. “He’s given me the sixteenth.”

“And when’s your birthday?”

“The nineteenth.”

“Mine’s the eighteenth!” Kristin clapped her hands, like an idiot in Jared’s opinion, but who was he to fault her enthusiasm?

“I’ll work on him.”

“Kris, I prefer it if you let me do this myself. Something tells me he’s gonna like it even less if I get someone else to do my dirty work for me.”

“So? Go ask him already!” She pushed him off his chair and he stumbled, glaring at her.

“Kris, I’m not going to do it now in the middle of breakfast.”

“You’re such a pussy, Jay,” she laughed.

Jared sat down again. “Shut up.”

Things at camp just got harder for Jensen after that first day.

He had sort of figured that, after a few weeks, his crush would fade and he could go back to being his normal, if slightly uptight, self.

But after six weeks, his crush on Jared was still going strong, and it was showing no signs of slowing down anytime soon.

Jensen thought that the younger guy would turn out to be an asshole, after Jared’s sharp words in the parking lot. Jensen was always more attracted to the personality than the package, anyway, so, if Jared was a douche, chances were his crush would fade.

The problem was, Jared wasn’t a douche. He was nice, and sweet, and friendly to everyone. He was helpful when he needed to be, and always had a shoulder for someone to lean on if they needed it.

Jensen sorta hated Jared a little bit.

So, Jensen had come up with a new plan.

Avoid Jared at all costs.

It worked well for a while. Jensen organized all of Jared’s cabin’s activities on the other side of camp from his own, scheduled all of Jared’s breaks and days off opposite from his.

And then Jensen remembered he was head counselor, so of course Jared was going to come to him when he had problems or issues. It was in the job description.

“Hey, can I talk to you?” Jared called when Jensen left his cabin, heading for the craft room, where his boys should be waiting.

“What?” he snapped, irritated. He didn’t know whether he should be excited or pissed off at the idea that Jared had been waiting for him.

“Look, I know you don’t like me very much,” Jared started and Jensen had to fight the urge to roll his eyes at absurdity of that statement. “But you are technically my boss, and I kinda need to ask you something.”

With a deep sigh, Jensen abandoned his walk and turned to face Jared. “Okay, what?”

“So, I saw on the schedule that you’ve given me the sixteenth off,” Jared said slowly.

Jensen waited for more, but it seemed liked that was it. “Yeah, I gave you the sixteenth off. Why? You gonna tell me you don’t want a day off?”

“No,” Jared said. “I mean, yeah, actually. Well, sort of.” He blushed and looked down at his shoes. “I was just wondering if I could have the nineteenth instead.”

Jensen was too busy thinking about how cute Jared looked when he blushed that he missed the question. “What? Quit mumbling and speak up. I swear, sometimes I think you’re tongue’s too big for your mouth or something.” Jensen groaned inwardly. Now was not the time to be thinking about Jared’s tongue and Jared’s mouth. There was a reason he showered in the main house instead of the shower block the rest of the counselors used.

“Can I switch and have the nineteenth off instead?” Jared repeated, louder this time, looking directly at Jensen, almost daring him to challenge the request.

Jensen never was one to let a challenge go unanswered. “Why? What’s so special about the nineteenth?”

Jared shrugged, and the blush crept up his face again. “It’s my birthday.”

Jensen stopped. That wasn’t what he was expecting, and it sort of knocked all the air out of his lungs, cut off his scathing remark before he could even start to speak.

“Your birthday?” he repeated, not sure what he was supposed to do with that information. Jensen’s plans consisted of being mean to Jared or ignoring him. How he was he supposed to fix this situation and still hold onto his plans?

“Yeah, I’m sorta leaving my teenage years behind me this year, I was just maybe hoping that I could have the day to myself,” Jared said with a shrug. “This is the first time I’ll be celebrating my birthday alone, you know? It feels kinda weird.”

“You’re turning twenty? I thought you were gonna be a junior this year?” Jensen said before he could stop himself.

Jared blinked, and Jensen knew he’d said too much, gave too much of himself away.

“Um, I am, it’s just, I have a late birthday, like really late, so it puts me a year behind everyone else.” Jared shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked back on his heels. “So, can I have the day off? I mean, I know there’s not much to do around here on days off, but I’d just rather not be working, you know?”

Jensen nodded. “No, I know. I mean, I get it.” He sighed, trying to picture the schedule in his head and what he’d have to change. “You can have the day off, I think. I mean, I have to move some things around, there are already two people off that day, I think, so I’m gonna have to switch one.”

“Hey, I don’t wanna cause any problems. If you can’t do it, don’t worry,” Jared said. He gave Jensen a small smile. “I don’t want to make more work for you.”

Jensen ground his teeth together and turned to look out over the lake. Collecting himself, he took a deep breath. “I said it was fine, Jared. Don’t make me change my mind.”

Jared held up his hands and backed off. “Hey, not saying anything. Except, thank you. I know it’s not gonna be awesome, spending my birthday with people I hardly know, but maybe it won’t suck as much as I thought it would.”

“Just make sure you don’t do anything stupid. I won’t be held responsible if you get drunk and drown in the lake.”

Jared laughed, “Dude, I’m not gonna drown. I doubt I’ll even be drunk, anyway.”

“Yeah, well, just make sure you keep whatever you do to yourself. I don’t want to have to explain to a bunch of parents that their kids caught the giant counselor banging the little blonde one behind the boat shed.”

“Man, what the hell is your problem?” Jared’s voice was loud and it echoed across the grounds, but Jensen could tell he just didn’t care. He was pissed and looking to stay that way.

“My problem? I ain’t the one who’s looking to have a birthday party in the middle of camp.”

“Who said anything about a party? I just want the day off so that I can spend it by myself in town. I never said anything about a party.” Jared took a deep breath, regarding Jensen with steely eyes, and Jensen had to forcibly stop himself from taking a step backwards, away from the towering giant.

“You seem to hate me,” Jared said slowly, carefully. “I have no idea what I did to piss you off, but you know what? I am sick of trying to kiss up to you. I’m done. From now on, Nice Guy Jared doesn’t exist as far as you’re concerned.”

With that, he turned on his heel and stalked off.

It wasn’t until he was watching him walk away that Jensen realized that, now he’d given Jared his birthday off, they had the same off day for the first time since camp started.

The morning of Jared’s twentieth birthday, he woke up surrounded by eight boys in their early teens, who then proceed to dump eight buckets of water down on him.

Not even Jensen could fault him for the string of profanities that escaped him as he was doused with freezing cold lake water.

Coughing and spluttering, Jared untangled himself from his soggy bedclothes and chased after the boys, who all scrambled outside, dropping their buckets in their wake.

Camera flashes assaulted his eyes as soon as he stepped out the door.

“Happy Birthday!”

Jared blinked until he could focus on the crowd of kids and counselors gathered around the door of his cabin.  
Danneel and Kristin were taking photos.

“Uh, thanks?” he mumbled, gesturing to his soaking T-shirt and shorts.

“Sorry, man!” Misha yelled at him from the back of the assembled group. “You had to see this coming, though.”

Jared nodded. He’d been the one taking pictures the day before when Kristin’s girls pelted her with flour.

“I’d kinda hoped that the newbies would get off lightly.”

Danneel snorted. “Yeah, right. You’re part of the family, Jay, you don’t get the easy treatment just ‘cause your new.”

“I feel so honored.” Jared yawned and turned to head back inside. “And now, if y’all don’t mind, it’s my day off. I’m going back to bed.” He paused. “No, scratch that.” He turned on his heel and marched down the stairs. “I’m going to Tom’s bed while you guys dry out my sheets!”

“I don’t think so!” Danneel sing-songed. “Birthday counselors have to eat breakfast soaking wet.”

“What? You have got to be kidding me!”

“Come on! I had to go yesterday looking like I’d been involved in an explosion in a cake factory!” Kristin yelled. “No way are you getting away with it.”

“Your traditions are really screwed up, man,” Jared said indignantly as he was dragged rather insistently towards the mess hall by Danneel. With an evil grin, he shook his hair out, sending water everywhere, and laughed as she squeaked and ran away.

He was just about to cut and run when two strong hands grabbed him, one on each shoulder, and Misha and Tom closed in on either side. While Misha was a lot shorter, Tom was as tall as Jared himself, there was no way was he fighting them off alone, not when his teeth were chattering so much he wondered if they were going to dance right out of his head.

“Guess I’m going to breakfast,” he grumbled.

The kids all ran ahead to the mess hall, and it wasn’t until Jared was led through the door that he realized there was one counselor who didn’t come to wish him happy birthday.

Jensen glared at him over his coffee mug.

Jensen almost choked on his coffee when Jared came through the door of the mess hall, bracketed by Misha and Tom, in dripping wet clothes that seemed to cling indecently to every curve of what Jensen could now tell was an extremely well toned torso.

He _did_ choke on his coffee when Jared pulled his t-shirt over his head and used it to dry off his chest as best he could.

“Are you okay?” Danneel asked, and he glared at her.

“I’m fine. Just went down the wrong pipe.”

She studied him a second longer. “It was nice of you to give Jared the day off, even if it did screw up our plans.”

Danneel had been the counselor Jensen had had to switch out so that Jared could have his birthday off. He’d forgotten the dinner and movie plans they’d planned for their only free day together so far.

And no, he was not going to ask Jared to take her place. He still hadn’t been able to come up with a solid answer as to why he hadn’t just swapped his own day off for Jared’s.

He just shrugged in response and continued with his cereal.

“So,” she went on. “What are you going to do today, all by your lonesome?”

“Might go and see that movie,” he mumbled around his Wheaties.

Danneel laughed, “By yourself?”

“Yes, by myself. I go to the movies by myself all the time, unless I can bribe Chris or Mike or Sandy to go with me.”

“I have to find you some more friends, sweetie,” she said with a chuckle.

“I have plenty of friends, why do people always think I need to have more friends?”

Danneel just smiled at him, then cast a look down the table. “Why don’t you ask Jared to go with you?”

Jensen could feel his face flush and he looked down into his mug to hide. “Why would I want to do that?”

“It’s the guy’s birthday, Jenny,” Danneel was the only person, on the face of the earth who he allowed to call him ‘Jenny’. Anyone else who tried got smacked down.

He didn’t like to think about the fact that Jared called him nothing but ‘Jen’ and nothing Jensen said, or did, could dissuade him from it.

“Why would I want to go to the movies with Jared? Do you have any idea how insane an idea that sounds?”

Danneel rolled her eyes. “Yeah, ‘cause it’s not like you don’t go to the movies with your guy friends all the time.”

“Jared is not my friend.” Even Jensen knew how much of a dick that made him sound.

“I know that, darling,” Danneel said, her voice sickeningly sweet. “But if you actually spend some time with him when you’re both not working, maybe you’ll see how nice he is and stop acting like he’s out to get you, so you have to get him first.”

“‘Darling’?” Jensen repeated, ignoring her completely. “You have got to stop hanging out with Chris so much.”

She smirked a little, like there was something he was missing, but she sobered before he could question her about it.

“Seriously, Jensen, there’s not a lot for people to do in town, and even less to do alone. Just give the guy a break and hang out with him.”

Jensen rolled his eyes. He had to figure out a way to make his friends stop forcing him to make friends with Jared. It wasn’t going to happen, and the sooner they realized that, the happier he’d be.

Laughter drifted up from the other end of the table, and Jensen looked down to see Jared blowing out a candle on a cupcake. He watched as the birthday boy stood up to take a bow, showing off the still wet shorts where they clung to Jared’s ass.

“Christ,” Jensen mumbled under his breath. “I’m outta here.”

He hoped Tom’s giggles were directed at Jared.

Outside, he dug his keys out of his pocket and crossed the lot to his car, suddenly wanting to be as far away from the camp as possible.

“Hey, Jensen!”

He turned quickly, surprised to see Kristin running towards him.

“Kristin? What’s up? Everything okay?” he asked, worried.

Kristin smiled at him. “Yeah, no. everything’s fine. I just wanted to ask you for a favor.”

Jensen groaned. The last time Kristin asked a favor of him, he’d ended up dressed as Posh Spice, singing ‘Wanna Be’ at the top of his lungs with Chris, Tom, Misha and James as the rest of the Spice Girls.

He looked down at her with narrowed eyes. “If this favor involves any kind of costume, the answer is no.”

“Oh, come on, you know you enjoyed that. I have the pictures to prove it.” She laughed when Jensen continued to glare. “Okay, fine, it’s got nothing to do with you, or costumes.”

“Then what?”

She chewed on her lower lip for a second before she found the courage she seemed to be looking for. “So, I know you know it’s Jared’s birthday today.”

“Christ,” Jensen muttered again, running a hand across his face.

“I was just wondering if it was okay for us to have a little party for him later, out by the picnic tables or something. After the kids have gone to bed, I mean.” She shrugged a little, embarrassed. “Misha picked up some booze on his day off last week, not a lot, just a couple six packs and a bottle of tequila and JD. Just enough to have a little celebration.”

Jensen wanted to say no, he wanted to tell Kristin that having alcohol on camp grounds when the kids were around wasn’t close to being responsible. But the words stuck in his throat.

“You need two people to stay on duty,” he said through gritted teeth. “One girl, one guy.”

Kristin made a face. “Seriously? What are the kids going to do? It’ll be after lights out, they’ll all be asleep.”

“I’m sorry, are you forgetting the year when they sneaked past all of us to go smoke pot in the boat house?” Jensen reminded. “Why do you think the counselors sleep in the cabins now?”

“I was not here that year,” Kristin said lightly. “How would I know that?” She huffed a breath and folded her arms over her chest. “Come on, Jensen. Everyone’s really looking forward to the party. Can’t you cut us some slack and let us cut loose, just once?”

Jensen sighed and rubbed at his temples with his finger tips of his right hand.

He looked up at Kristin through his lashes and took a deep breath. “Alright, look, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take the shifts and make sure the kids stay where they’re supposed to be, if you do something for me.”

Kristin narrowed her eyes at him. “This isn’t going to require me to strip naked is it?”

“Jesus, no!” Jensen almost yelled. “What the hell goes on in that blonde head of yours?” He held up his hand when she opened her mouth to answer. “Never mind, I don’t want to know.”

“Okay, so if there’s no nudity involved, then what?”

“You or Misha, or someone covers my dinner duty tomorrow.”

She thought for a second, chewing on her lower lip. “Done. Anything else?”

“Your next free days, everyone spends at least an hour cleaning out the equipment room.”

Kristin nodded forcefully. “You got it, whatever you say, boss.” She saluted him and Jensen rolled his eyes.

“And don’t leave beer bottles lying around where the kids can see ‘em.”

With that, he heaved a deep sigh and made his way towards the main house.

Jeff was bent of a bunch of paper work on his desk when Jensen entered his office without knocking.

“Hey, kid,” he said without looking up, somehow knowing it was Jensen. “Aren’t you supposed to have the day off?”

“Yeah, I just needed to ask you something. Or run something by you, I guess,” Jensen said, running a hand across the back of his neck.

Jeff set down the paper he’d been reading, and looked up at Jensen, his eyes suddenly serious. “Oh, well, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you, too. So, uh, you go first.”

Jensen frowned. “Um, okay. Kristin asked me if it was cool if they had a party for Jared’s birthday tonight. It was her birthday yesterday, and I guess they just want to kick back a little. I just wanted to make sure you were okay with that.” Jeff narrowed his eyes at him, and Jensen shifted his feet, clearing his throat nervously. “I told her I’d stay on duty, look after the kids, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Jeff shook his head. “You’re not allowed into the girls cabins without a female staff member.”

Jensen nodded. “No, um, yeah, I know that. But come on, what are they gonna do in a couple hours? They’ll all be sleeping anyway.”

“You need one male and one female counselor to stay on duty,” Jeff said sternly. “I’m all for letting them chill out a little, knock back a couple beers. Out of sight of the kids, mind, so make sure you tell them to keep it to the picnic tables behind the boathouse. But I can’t ignore the rules, Jensen. We could lose our license if we got caught.”

“Okay, I guess I can understand that,” Jensen said as he tried to come up with something to bribe Danneel with to convince her to stay on duty with him.

“I hope you can,” Jeff said, a hint of uncertainty in his voice. “Especially if this place is gonna be yours next year.”

Jensen fell into the chair in front of Jeff’s desk. “I, um…what?!”

Jeff chuckled. “Yeah, maybe I could have worded that a little better.”

“How about you word it in a way that makes sense?”

“Jensen, there was a reason I asked you to come up here early this year, and why I made you do all that shit you did before the season started.”

“All that shit?” Jensen repeated. “All what shit?”

“Jensen, did you even talk to Josh before you came up here this summer?”

Jensen snorted. “No, he’s off being Dr. Wonderful in Phoenix. He only calls when he has something to tell us.” Jensen loved his big brother, of course he did, but the guy was a selfish bastard. He’d only told them he was getting married because Rana made him. Their parents hadn’t even known he was seeing any one.

“Well, if you had talked to him, he would have told you that we only require head counselors to show up the day before the other counselors.”

Jensen frowned. “And so the reason for me being here a full week before everyone else was…?”

“I wanted you to get a feel for the place, to understand what Sam and I do every year. See if you like it.”

“Why?”

“Because, Jensen, I want to know if you’d be interested in taking over.”

“Taking over what?”

Jeff narrowed his eyes at him. “Are you stupid, or are you just acting like an idiot on purpose?” Jensen just blinked at him and Jeff rolled his eyes. “The camp, Jensen, I want to know if you’d be interested in taking over the camp.”

Jensen just blinked again.

This was a joke, right? Jeff wasn’t seriously asking him if he wanted to run Camp Chitaqua.

“The rumors are true?” he asked, his voice quiet.

“What rumors? There are rumors?”

Jensen shrugged. “Misha asked me the other day if it was true that I’d be running things next year. I told him to stop smoking so much weed.”

Jeff sighed. “I’ll kill Sam; woman can’t keep her damn mouth shut sometimes, probably spilled to the kitchen staff.”

“Why me? Why not Tom or Danneel?”

“Jensen, you love this place. More than any other kid that came here. Even Josh didn’t love this place like you do. Sam and I have been thinking for a while now. We’re getting too old to be singing camp fire songs and handing out condoms to drunk, over-sexed college kids.” Jeff and Jensen both laughed before Jeff sobered and looked at him with serious eyes. “Kid, you’re the only one I’d even consider leaving this place with.”

“But don’t you have family or something? Someone closer than the kid who just hangs out here every summer?”

“You mean the kid who begged to be allowed to stay two extra years, the kid who asked to be a counselor a year early, the kid who was helping me run this damn place every year since he was fifteen? You mean that kid?”

Jensen blushed. He stared at Jeff, a whirlwind of emotions running through his head. “You’re really serious about this?”

Jeff nodded. “It’s hard work, and not enough that you can get by with not doing anything else for the rest of the year. Sam and I have the restaurant in town, not that we do much down there, don’t need to, what with Amy in charge, but it’s still money coming in. Security.”

Jensen chewed on his lower lip. “I’ve always wondered what goes on around this place the rest of the year.”

Jeff smiled. “Not a damn thing. It sits here, lonely and cold, until Sam and I move back in mid-May and clear the dust out.”

“You never thought about renting it out?”

Jeff frowned. “Renting out? For what?”

Jensen smiled. “Man, the ideas I could have for this place.”

Jeff laughed, loud and open. “That a yes, kid?”

“Yeah, old man. I think it is.”


	3. Chapter 3

Jared parked his truck in the first available space he could find and killed the engine, but he didn’t leave the cab. Instead, he studied the town through the slightly grubby windshield and suppressed the urge to sigh.

The town was small, so much smaller than anything he was used to. It was really just a collection of small businesses, ranging from restaurants to bookstores, and the movie theatre that he wasn’t sure was even playing anything remotely current at the end of the main drag.

He’d already called his parents and his friends, hearing his birthday wishes over a static-y phone line. Even Sandy had called him, which was a surprise, considering they’d broken up two months before, and he hadn’t really seen her much since. Not that they’d had some huge bust up or anything, they’d just decided they were better of as friends. Maybe he shouldn’t be so surprised after all.

Getting out of the truck, Jared locked the door just as his stomach rumbled, and he couldn’t help but laugh a little. Glancing at his watch, he saw that it was well after one in the afternoon, and he figured he owed himself some sort of birthday lunch, and set off down the main street, looking for something even slightly appealing.

Jared hadn’t really ventured out of camp on his days off, choosing instead to hang out in the main house and watch a movie, or drive around the local country side, so he wasn’t really sure what he was expecting when he gazed into the windows of the restaurants the town had to offer, only to find most of them empty, a few customers spread thinly in booths and perched on stools.

Then he reached the end of the block, and the large steakhouse that took up the entire corner, and he understood why.

The Road House was packed full to bursting, noise filtering out through the open windows, the smell of burgers and ribs making Jared’s mouth water.

Taking a deep breath, and figuring he had nothing to lose by asking, Jared pushed open the door of The Road House and made his way inside.

“Hi, welcome to The Road House,” the perky blonde girl behind the hostess podium smiled up at him. Her name-tag read ‘Mercedes’. “Do you have a reservation?”

“Um, no,” he Jared said quietly, his eyes scanning the crowded dining area until they landed on a familiar, if unwelcome, face.

“Oh, um…” Mercedes stammered, scanning the diary in front of her. “It’s gonna be about forty-five minutes before we have a free table. Maybe a little longer.”

Jared smiled at her. “It’s okay, I’m with him.”

Mercedes followed his gaze to where he was pointing at Jensen, sitting alone at a booth with a coke and a half-eaten burger in front of him, his nose buried in a book.

“Oh, are you one of Jeff and Sam’s counselors? Dude, why didn’t you say so? We’ve always got space for you guys.” She pulled a menu out from under her podium and handed it to him. “Go on and sit down, I’ll send over a waitress in a few.”

Jared gave her another smile before pushing his way through the diner to drop into the booth on the other side of Jensen.

Jensen looked up at him, startled. “Jared? What the hell are you doing?”

Jared rolled his eyes. “The waiting time for a table is forty-five minutes, no way am I waiting in line when you’re sitting right here with room to spare. So just deal with it, Jen.”

Jensen narrowed his eyes. “Don’t call me-”

“Jen,” Jared finished. “Yeah, I know, and the more you tell me to stop, the more I’m gonna keep doing it, so suck it up.” He opened his menu and scanned the contents.

“Hey, Jensen, who’s you’re friend?” Jared looked up to see a pretty girl with long brown hair smiling down at him, an order pad and pen poised in her hands.

“He’s not my friend,” Jensen spat, turning his attention back to his book.

Jared glared at him over the top of his menu. “Oh, fuck you, Jen.”

“Jen?” the waitress repeated.

“Oh, don’t even try it, Michelle.”

Michelle giggled. “Sure thing, Jensen.” She turned her playful smile on Jared. “So, I take it you’re one of Jeff’s counselors, too?”

Jared nodded and held out his hand. “Jared.”

Michelle shook his hand and introduced herself, before she nodded her head at the menu in his hands. “So, are you ready to order?”

Jared looked down at the list of food on the menu, and then glanced up at the food on Jensen’s plate. “What’s that?” he asked.

“Bacon and cheese burger with barbeque sauce and the works,” Michelle answered before Jensen could scowl at her.

Jared’s mouth watered. “Sounds good, I’ll have that and some garlic fries.”

Michelle wrote down his order while Jensen raised an eyebrow.

“Garlic fries?”

Jared shrugged and handed his menu to Michelle. “What? It’s not like I’m going to be kissing anyone tonight.” Jensen swallowed hard and looked away quickly, but Michelle spoke before he could question it.  
“Anything to drink?”

“I’ll have a vanilla milkshake, and he’ll have another coke.”

“I don’t want another coke.”

“He’ll have another coke.”

Michelle laughed. “I swear, you two bicker like Jeff and Sam. Like you’ve been married for twenty years already.” She didn’t look up at them again as she bustled off towards the kitchen, but Jared could feel the blush creep across his face and he pulled out his cell phone to give himself something to look at besides Jensen, who retreated back behind his book.

“How come everyone in here knows I’m working at the camp?” Jared asked just after Michelle had delivered their drinks.

Jensen wiped his mouth on a napkin, still chewing the bite of burger Jared had missed him take. “Jeff and Sam own the restaurant,” he mumbled around the food in his mouth. “It’s what they do the rest of the year when the camp’s closed.”

Jared frowned. “The camp closes?” _Of course it does,_ he thought, rolling his eyes.

Jensen snorted a laugh. “Yeah, I’m trying to come up with some ideas for what I could do with it during the off season.”

“What you could do with it?” Jared repeated. “So the rumors are true, then. You are taking over next year.”

Jensen glanced up at him. “Is it really any of your business if I am or not?”

“Just wanna know if I’m gonna have a job next year or not.” Not that he’d made a decision about returning, but he would rather he was able to make the decision himself.

Jensen smirked, eyes on the pages of his battered and torn paperback. “Jeff and Sam are still running the show next year. It’s the year after you have to worry about.”

“Okay, how about you talk to me for a change? Instead of burying yourself in whatever trash this is.” Jared used his finger to mark Jensen’s place and closed the novel to read the title. “ _Bram Stoker’s Dracula_?” he said, voice filled with amazement. “You pick this up at one of those bookstores?”

“Yeah,” Jensen replied easily. “When I was fourteen. I’ve read it a hundred times.”

Jared blinked up at Jensen, staring openly into stormy green eyes, suddenly unsure about his place at the table, or Jensen’s place in his life.

“What?” Jensen snapped when Jared continued to stare.

“It’s my favorite book,” Jared said softly. He pictured his own copy of the novel, torn and battered like Jensen’s, notes in the margins and missing the back cover.

They had something in common, and it threw Jared’s entire life at camp for a loop.

“It’s a popular choice, I guess,” Jensen mumbled, staring at his food, but Jared could see the blush coloring his cheeks and the unsure look on his face.

Slowly, Jared handed Jensen his book back, careful to keep Jensen’s place. He jumped a little when Jensen’s fingers brushed his, heat shooting through his body from the simple contact, making his heart beat radically against his ribcage and his breathing grow ragged.

“I didn’t know it was possible for you to have interests, thought you were made of stone.” Jared wasn’t really very happy with how breathless his voice sounded.

Jensen cleared his throat. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Jared.”

“Like you’ve given me a chance to get to know you at all.”

“Exactly, but it’s not like you’re taking the hint.”

And just like that, the strange tension in the air was gone, and Jared snapped back to himself. “Oh, fuck you, Jen. Why don’t you take that stick outta your ass and relax once in a while? Is it so hard to just have a normal conversation with someone?”

Jensen quirked and eyebrow at him. “With you? Yes.”

Jared shook his head. He could feel his anger boiling over, and he needed to get away from the table before he did something he would regret, like ripping Jensen’s head from his shoulders.

Or kissing him stupid, at this point, it would be a close call.

“Excuse me,” he said stiffly, not really caring if Jensen excused him or not as he left the table and made his way across the restaurant to the bathroom.

Once inside, he splashed water on his face in an attempt to get himself back to normal. His face felt hot under his hands, and when he looked up into the mirror, he was bright red and sweaty, his eyes almost black with lust.

“Well, aren’t you just a fucking idiot?” Jared muttered to his reflection. “Falling for a dick like Jensen, really? Grow up, JT.”

He dried off with paper towels and took a few deep breaths before he left the bathroom.

His table was empty when he returned, his meal waiting for him, and Jensen’s dishes cleared away.

Jared sighed. It wasn’t like he could have expected anything else.

He ate in silence, staring at the street through the window and trying not to think about what an idiot he’d made of himself.

When Michelle came back to take away his empty plate, he decided against dessert and asked for the check.

Michelle gave him a funny look. “Sweetheart, Jensen already paid it. He said to tell you ‘happy birthday’.”

It was another five minutes before Jared could get over the shock of Jensen doing something nice for him and he could actually leave the restaurant.

Jensen parked his car on the other side of the lake, away from the camp, and killed the engine, letting his head fall back against the headrest. He closed his eyes and emptied his mind, determined not to think about the scene with Jared in The Road House. So they had something in common, so what? That didn’t mean anything.

His cell phone started playing ‘Sexy Back’ and Jensen jumped, smacking his head against the roof of his car. He cursed loudly as he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and flipped it open after glancing at the screen.

“I’m not letting you near my phone again,” he said in lieu of a greeting. “There is nothing even remotely sexy about you.”

Katie giggled in his ear. _“Aw, baby, that’s not what you were saying at your birthday party.”_

“I was drunk, Katie. Why do you think Chris won’t let me have tequila anymore? Mike said it was too much effort cleaning that mess up. And don’t call me ‘baby’.” Really, did people just not know his name?

Katie snorted. _“Please, we all know Mike wants me.”_

“I think Mike wants Pattie. Pattie, his girlfriend, who he’s been dating longer than you’ve known him.”

_“Hmm, wonder if they’d be up for a threesome?”_

Jensen rolled his eyes. “Katie, is there a reason you’re calling me?” He loved Katie, really, he did, but most of the time, having a conversation with her with just too much work. She thought about sex way more than any guy he’d ever met.

 _“Um, yeah…”_ Katie’s voice wavered with uncertainty, and Jensen sat up straight in his seat.

“Katie? What’s going on? What happened?”

_“I’m standing in the hallway, watching David and Sarah move out.”_

“What? Where are they going?”

 _“California, from what I’ve heard. I really don’t care much, but I thought you’d wanna know. They went to Vegas and got married. Idiots.”_ Katie sighed. _“Sandy’s been screaming at them all morning, but it’s not doing any good. They say they’re going, and nothing’s gonna stop them.”_

“Married?! Are you serious?” That was just insane, David and Sarah were the same age as he was, and yeah, they’d been together since high school, but couldn’t they wait until they at least finished college?

 _“Sarah’s mom found out they were living together. You know how much she hates David. She started screaming about how they were too young, and the next thing I knew, they were standing in our living room flashing matching wedding rings.”_ Katie chuckled. _“Her mom flipped out. And now they’re checking out for California to get away from her. Apparently, we’re not allowed to tell her mom where they went, and she’s already called Sandy about a million times to see if she can get it out of her. So, like, don’t answer your phone to any unknown numbers. I’ve already told Mike and Eliza not to answer their land lines.”_

Jensen rubbed at his eyes with his free hand. “This is just insane.”

He could almost hear Katie shrug. _“Eh, I don’t really care. I’m just letting you know so you can’t freak out when you come home.”_

“Great, new people.” Jensen sighed. He’d lived with the people in the building for over two years, they’d all moved in together the year the university had bought it and they were a pretty tight group. New people were going to fuck up the dynamic.

 _“Just think, maybe it’ll be new people to fuck,”_ Katie laughed. _“I need to find new people. When are you coming home? I really need to give you another ride when we’re less drunk.”_

“Katie, I will never fuck you again, get that through your head.”

 _“Come on, Jensen! You’ve fucked half of STU! You must be running out of people by now. Ooh, is there anyone new at camp you want?”_ Jensen tried to think of something to say, but Katie was Katie and she saw through him before he could even try. _“Oh, my God! There is!”_

“No, there isn’t, I don’t want to fuck him.” Katie squealed and Jensen froze. “Shit.”

 _“Him?!”_ She repeated with a shriek. _“And here I thought you’re whole bisexual label was just a theory.”_

“It’s nothing, it’s just a stupid crush,” Jensen said forcefully. “Nothing’s gonna happen, the guy’s a jerk.” Katie was the only person who knew that he, theoretically, liked guys. Another reason he told himself he wasn’t allowed tequila anymore.

_“It’s been my experience that jerk’s are the best in bed. You should know.”_

“Oh, fuck you, Katie.”

_“Name the time and place, baby.”_

Jensen sighed and changed the subject. “How’s Sandy?” He didn’t really have a chance to talk to her when she broke up with her boyfriend, what with finals and getting ready for camp, but from what he could tell, she wasn’t all that upset about it.

_“She’s okay; she went on a little bit of a rebound last month, but I think she got it out of her system. She knew it wasn’t true love with this guy, but you know Sandy, she always gets way too invested in relationships.”_

Jensen laughed. He’d known Sandy for over two years, and he’d never known her to go longer than a month or two between relationships. It just wasn’t healthy in Jensen’s eyes.

 _“I really think she needs to start acting more like us, Jensen,”_ Katie pointed out. _“Who needs relationships when you have all the sex you want with none of the complications? Who wants to be stuck fucking the same person, anyway? That’s just boring.”_

“Stop comparing me to you,” Jensen scolded. It was kind of unnerving. “I’m nothing like you.”

_“Oh, please, Jensen, you are the male version of me. Even more so now that you want to fuck this guy.”_

Katie was still laughing when he hung up the phone.

  
Once the kids were bedded down for the night, the girls pounced on him.

After blindfolding him, Kristin and Lauren lead Jared around the camp, giggling like school girls, around obstacles that he didn’t think were actually there.

The blindfold across his eyes slipped a little as the girls brought him to a halt, and he could see the other counselors gathered around the picnic tables.

“Surprise!” Lauren yelled as she pulled the blindfold away.

Jared gazed in amazement at the party his friends had set up for him. It’s nothing fancy, just a couple bottles of cheap booze and balloons and streamers they’d obviously stolen from the craft room. But it looked great, and Jared was touched that they went out of their way to do this for him.

“Guys,” he said, his voice quiet. “This is so awesome. Thank you.”

Kristin shrugged. “Eh, it’s not much, but I had to fight tooth and nail to get Jensen to agree to it, so I hope you appreciate it.”

Jared grinned down at her. “I do. I really do.” He picked her up to hug her, and she giggled again, smacking at his shoulders with tiny fists until he set her down.

“So, did you have to sell your soul or something to set this up?” he asked when Misha handed him a beer.

Kristin shrugged. “There were a few conditions, nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about.” Genevieve was pouring shots and Kristin watched as Lauren moved to help. Jared could see the minute she registered the missing person from their party. “Where’s Dani?”

Tom snorted. “Jensen spoke to Jeff about tonight, and he said that if we were gonna do this, then we need one male and one female counselor to stay on duty.” He shrugged. “Jensen bribed Danneel with something, I don’t know what, so it’s those two on duty and we have to cover their duties for the next three days.”

Jared frowned. He couldn’t quite wrap his head around the fact that Jensen was doing them a favor to allow them to have a party for Jared’s birthday. Between that and the restaurant, it was making him think things. It made that same something curl low in his belly again.

He was prevented from thinking about it further by Genevieve shoving a shot of tequila into his hand.

“Okay,” Tom called loudly and they all hushed up and turned to him. He raised his shot glass in Jared’s direction. “To Jared.”

“To Jared!” the other counselors intoned and they drank their shots.

“I wanna play ‘I Never’,” Genevieve said brightly, bouncing on her toes.

“Oh, my God,” Vinnie huffed. “How old are you?”

“Come on!” she pushed. “It’ll be fun!”

“It’s Jared’s birthday,” Misha reminded. “Let him decide.”

Jared shrugged. How bad could a stupid college game be? Even if he’d never played it.

“Yeah, that could be fun, I guess.”

“Awesome!” Genevieve sang. She started moving everyone towards the table by the shoulders, standing up on tiptoe to reach Jared and Tom.

Once everyone was seated, she filled up their shot glasses again, leaving the tequila bottle in the middle of the table next to the unopened bottle of JD.

“Okay, just remember guys, we are all on duty tomorrow, and we’re covering for Jensen and Danneel,” Laruen pointed out. “So we can’t get drunk.”

“Spoilsport,” Misha muttered.

“So, who wants to go first?” Tom asked.

“I think we should let the birthday boy go first,” Genevieve said with a grin.

Jared chuckled. “Um, okay.” He thought for a second, trying to come up with something original. “I’ve never slept with one of my professors.”

No one downed their shots and everyone looked around the table at everyone else.

“Um,” Vinnie said after a few seconds of silence. “Does a TA count?”

“Just because you asked,” Tom said, pointing a finger. “I’m gonna say yes.”

They laughed as Vinnie knocked back his shot, then set his glass aside and picked up a bottle of beer.

“Alright, Lauren, you go,” Kristin said, pointing with her shot glass.

Lauren gazed around, her eyes twinkling. “I have never had sex with a girl.”

“So not fair,” Misha griped as he knocked back his tequila, along with Jared and Tom and the other guys he didn’t know as well. Vinnie took a sip of his beer.

Genevieve cleared her throat before she drank the contents of her glass.

“Seriously?!” Kristin screeched, staring at her open-mouthed.

Genevieve shrugged. “It was my first week in college, I was at a party, I got really drunk and she was really hot. Wasn’t like she made me want to give up guys and join the LGBT.”

“That is so hot,” Misha said quietly and Jared watched as Genevieve blushed.

Vinnie rolled his eyes. “Okay, Gen, your turn.”

Genevieve chewed on her lower lip for a second. “Okay, I’ve never had feelings for a member of the same sex.” She took her hand away from the beer she was cradling.

Vinnie raised an eyebrow. “What the hell? You just said you did the nasty with another chick, and you thought she was hot.”

“Yeah, she was hot, but all that means is I was drunk and horny. There were no actual feelings involved.” She looked at her fellow counselors one by one. “I’m talking honest to God _feelings_.”

Jared knew he had a crush on Jensen, sure, but if that was all it was, he would have been able to move past it by now, what with how much of a dick the guy had been to him. But if anything, the scene in the restaurant had only made his attraction to Jensen grow stronger.

So, yeah. Feelings.

He took a deep breath, holding it in for several seconds, before he let it out and drank from the beer bottle.

Across the table, Tom knocked back his beer, too.

The whole table grew silent as they stared at Jared and Tom.

Tom groaned and put his face in his hands. “No, I do not want to talk about it,” he said before anyone could ask anything.

“Dude, I’ve known you for, like, four years,” Misha said, clearly offended.

“I don’t want to talk about it, either,” Jared said when he caught Kristin out of the corner of his eye, grinning at him.

Her grin only grew brighter, and Jared could tell she had an idea in that pretty little head of hers.  
“I’ve never slept with a member of the same sex.”

“Gimme a break,” Genevieve grumbled as she took another drink.

But no one was really interested.

Kristin was watching Jared intently, and he smirked as he put his hands into the pockets of his jacket. She huffed in annoyance.

Everyone else had eyes only for Tom as he took another sip of his beer.

“Any of you tell Jensen, Danneel or Chris, I will sink you to the bottom of the lake,” he said, running a hand across his face.

“How can they not know?” Lauren asked.

Tom shrugged. “It never came up. Ever. And I’d like it to stay that way, for now, at least.”

“Are you still with this guy?” Misha asked, and Jared could see the color creeping up Tom’s face.

“Hey, come on, guys, let it go, okay?” Jared said, trying to calm the questions, even though his own were floating around his head. Hadn’t Tom said he was dating a girl called Rosie? “This isn’t truth or dare. If Tom doesn’t want to tell us, he doesn’t have to.”

Tom gave him a grateful look across the table.

“Maybe we should be playing truth or dare,” Misha said coldly. “Apparently, this is the only way to get Tom to tell anyone anything.”

“No,” Jared said, his voice forceful. “If Tom doesn’t want to tell us, that’s his business. We can’t force him to spill all his dirty little secrets. We have to respect that.”

“Thank you,” Tom said quietly.

“You’re welcome. Now come on, no more silly games. Let’s just relax and drink and have some fun.”  
Tom frowned. “I think Chris wrote a song like that.”

Jared groaned. “Yeah, he did. It’s on repeat in my head because it’s all Danneel plays when she’s in the craft room, and I was stuck in there with her all day yesterday.”

Jared watched from his seat next to Kristin as the rest of the boys gathered at the other end of the table. Someone produced a pack of playing cards from somewhere, and they started arguing stakes as Genevieve and Lauren started pouring more shots.

“Okay, seriously,” Tom said as he took the cards away from Misha, who was arguing over who was dealing with Vinnie. He glowered at them before turning that same glower back onto the girls. Jared decided never to get on Tom’s bad side.

“Jensen will kill us all if we get wasted,” he said to them, nodding towards the shot glasses. “I’m not kidding. He’s got skills you couldn’t even imagine.”

“I’ll just bet he does,” Lauren said in a suggestive tone, and Jared blushed on Jensen’s behalf.

“He’s given up his day off so that we can have this party,” Kristin said. “The least we can do is stay sober, so just put the liquor away and stick to the beer.”

“Wait, he did what?” Jared stared at Kristin.

“What?”

“Jensen gave up his day off?”

“Well, it’s not like it’s a big thing,” Kristin shrugged. “He still had all day off, he just took over this evening so that we could keep you busy and get this set up.”

Jared was gob smacked. “Okay, he does know this party is for me, right?”

Kristin laughed. “Yes, he knows.”

Jared turned so that he could lean back against the picnic table. “Why did he do it?” he asked quietly.

“Because he’s a nice guy?” Kristin said slowly.

Jared raised his eyebrow at her. “Yeah, maybe to you and everybody else, but we all know he hates me. It’s not like he makes a big secret out of it, or goes out of his way to hide it.”

“He did it because it’s your birthday?” Kristin tried.

Jared shook his head. “He’s not the kind of person who goes out of his way to grant favors for people he doesn’t like, birthday or not.” Except today, apparently.

Kristin groaned and banged her head off the picnic table. Jared winced in sympathy.

“Jay, can’t you just forget about Jensen not liking you for one night and just have some fun on your birthday?”

“I just can’t help but feel like he wants something in return.”

“Well, yeah, he does want us to cover his duties for the next three days. And Dani’s.”

“Great,” he grumbled. “I get a party for my birthday, but I have to pay for it with extra work.”

“Oh, Jared, don’t be ridiculous,” Kristin said, lifting her head. “We’re not gonna make you do the extra duties. It’s your birthday. Not even Jensen could be that mean.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

“Right, enough talking about Jensen.” She picked her beer bottle up from the table and raised it in the air. “To Jared. May you celebrate many more birthdays at Camp Chitaqua.”

Jared smiled and clinked his bottle to Kristin’s. “To Camp Chitaqua.”

“No, Carter,” Jensen whispered loudly. “Just go to sleep.” He closed the door to the cabin quietly behind and turned, running smack into Vinnie who was trying to make his way up the steps.

He wasn’t having much luck.

“SHH!” Vinnie said to Jensen. “Kids is sleeping!”

Jensen scowled at him. “Are you drunk?”

“No!” Vinnie said loudly. “I’m not sober, but I am definitely not drunk.” He hiccupped. “Much.”

Jensen wasn’t buying it for a second. “If everyone is as bad as you, I’m going to make your lives a living hell tomorrow.”

He stormed past a giggling Vinnie and jumped down the steps, hurrying across the grounds to Danneel’s cabin.

“I’m sorry about Vinnie.”

Jensen turned at the sound of the voice. Jared was standing on the step of his cabin, seconds away from going inside.

A blush crept up Jensen’s cheeks and he was glad the moon light was enough to hide it from Jared. He’d been in Jared’s cabin just minutes before, checking on the boys, trying not to think about Jared in bed, asleep.

He was distracted before he could dive right back into that daydream when Jared climbed down the steps and came to stand in front of him and Jensen frowned.

“What?” he asked. Jared had apologized for something, and Jensen racked his brain, trying to figure out what the apology was for.

“Vinnie,” Jared said with a shrug. “We tried to keep an eye on everyone, make sure they didn’t get too drunk. I mean, we all have to work tomorrow, right? Who wants to look after a bunch of rowdy kids with the hangover from hell?” He gave a nervous laugh and Jensen couldn’t help but smile. “But, Genevieve bet him twenty bucks that he couldn’t do five shots of JD in thirty seconds. He’d already done three before I could stop him, and they sorta went to his head.”

Jensen nodded slowly, looking back over his shoulder at Vinnie’s cabin. The door was still open.

“Is everyone else still sober?”

“More or less. Well, Lauren’s a little giddy, but I think that’s just ‘cause she doesn’t party much; guess she’s a pretty serious student.”

“Yeah, Oxford will do that to you.”

Jared’s eyes bugged. “She goes to Oxford?!”

Jensen laughed at the expression on Jared’s face before he managed to sober himself. “Yeah, she’s one smart chick, Lauren. Keeps the rest of us on our toes.”

“I’ll bet.”

They grew silent, and Jensen didn’t know what to say to fill it. It felt nice, to be in Jared’s company and not be constantly snapping at him, like earlier in The Road House, before he reminded himself that he was supposed to hate Jared.

“So, um,” Jared started before Jensen could think of some witty anecdote about Danneel’s low tolerance of alcohol, or something equally as inappropriate. He watched as Jared cleared his throat and scratched at the back of his neck. “I wanted to thank you.”

He said it so quickly it sounded like one long word and Jensen had to pause, thinking the sentence through before he frowned, confused again. That was the second time in less than five minutes that Jared had thrown him for a loop.

“Thank me? For what?”

“Kristin said you gave up your day off to let them have this party for me,” Jared said softly, his voice directed at the ground beneath his feet. “That was…you didn’t have to do that, so thank you.”

 _Shit_ , Jensen cursed silently. Not telling Jared should have been one of his conditions. He shrugged, trying to make it causal, but he could feel the tightness in his shoulders, and he knew Jared could probably see it, even in the moon light. “It wasn’t a big deal. Not like I lost the day, I still managed to do what I wanted.”

Sitting alone in his car and leaving Jared equally alone in the restaurant hardly qualified as something he wanted to do. Not when what he wanted to do was sit in that restaurant and have lunch with Jared.

But that didn’t mean it was a date, right?

“Yeah, I know, but, it was nice of you. To do that for me. The restaurant, too. And I feel bad about you having to work on your day off, and I know Kristin said not to worry about it, but I feel bad that they’re all gonna be covering for you guys for the next couple days and I’m just gonna be doing my usual shit, so anything you want me to do, just tell me.”

And just like that, Jensen’s good mood snapped.

“What did you say?”

Jared blinked, and Jensen could see the confusion crossing his strong features.

“Kristin said that she and the others are doing your duties for the next few days,” he repeated. “But, dude, I feel bad not doing anything.”

“You’re _not_ covering my duties?” Jensen said incredulously. It was a shitty thing to say, he knew it, but he never really thought about Jared when he’d told Tom and Kristin of the deal he’d made with Jeff and Danneel. The fact that Jared was not on the list to cover for Jensen and Danneel but wanted to do something to help out made Jensen irrationally angry.

“Well, Kristin said she would never ask me, ‘cause it was my birthday and the party was her idea, but, dude, if you want me to cover for you, I will. It’s not a problem.”

“So, you think, just because it’s your birthday, you can get away with not carrying your own weight?” Jensen snapped.

Jared threw his hands in the air. “Dude, will you listen to yourself? You sound ridiculous! You’re standing here, at one thirty in the morning, picking a fight because people are trying to be nice to me on my birthday and cut me some slack, even though I’ve just told you that I’m more than willing to do anything you want me to!”

Jensen chose not to point out that what he wanted Jared to do was not really considered acceptable in public.  
Jared took a step backward and raked his fingers back through his hair, turning to look back at his cabin as he did. Jensen could tell from the look on the younger man’s face that he was checking to make sure everything was still calm and peaceful in his cabin, and he knew that he should be sort of proud of Jared for that, but all he could really focus on was how the moon light glinted off the angry spark in Jared’s hazel eyes and the way his cheekbones stood out in stark relief in the pale light.

“Jesus, Jared, you just don’t get it, do you?” Jensen yelled at him, trying to find the argument he’d been distracted from by Jared’s pretty features. “This camp isn’t about you.” He held up a hand when Jared opened his mouth, cutting off the rebuttal he knew was coming. “I don’t mean you, as in Jared. I mean you as an individual. This camp is about team-work; working together as a group to make sure these kids have as good a time as possible. But when you start thinking about yourself, and about _your_ place at the camp, that’s where we start having problems.”

“Jen, none of this is even about me!” Jared yelled, wincing slightly as his voice carried over the empty camp grounds. He turned back to Jensen with a scowl. His voice was a few octaves lower when he spoke again. “Okay, that’s not exactly true, this is about me, but it’s got nothing to do with how I feel about my job here. This is all about me coming in here and disrupting your idea about this camp. You can’t handle the fact that I _fit_ here. The counselors like me, the kids fucking love me, and I’m actually having a good time, and you’re pissed because…fuck, I don’t even know why you’re pissed, but you know what? I officially don’t care. You wanna hate me? You wanna stand by and think that I’m out to get you, or run your precious camp into the fucking ground? Then go right ahead, man, hate me. I don’t really give a shit.”

“Jesus Christ!”

Jensen spun around to see Tom standing in front of his cabin, glaring at both of them.

“You two are acting worse than the fucking kids! It’s one thirty in the fucking morning, knock it the fuck off and go to bed!” Tom turned to go back inside his cabin, then paused and looked at them over his shoulder. “If I get pulled for cussing, I’m taking you two down with me.” He slammed the cabin door hard behind him.

Jensen turned back to Jared. The apology that was on his tongue stuck in his throat at the look on Jared’s face.

“Let’s just decide to stay out of each other’s way, and maybe I can get through the last six weeks of this camp without committing homicide.” He turned on his heel and stalked back towards his cabin. “It was nice knowing you, Jen.”

Jensen couldn’t even find it in himself to correct the nickname.


	4. Chapter 4

“Okay, guys! Outta the lake!” Jared yelled loudly.

The kids groaned in annoyance, but started making their way out of the water, each one turning their tag to indicate they were safe.

“Jared, why we gotta get out of the water?” Caleb asked, craning his neck to look up at him.

Jared laughed as he saw the boy shiver. “’Cause, Caleb, dinner is in two hours, and we still have to clean our cabin before you head home tomorrow.”

“Oh,” Caleb said. He sounded a little bummed and Jared couldn’t really blame him. He was sad himself to be leaving the camp. He’d had fun the last three months, and it had surprised him how much he’d enjoyed it.

“Caleb, get moving,” a gruff voice ordered. Caleb started and took off towards his cabin.

Jared sighed. Well, he’d enjoyed _most_ of it.

Jared turned quickly to see Jensen walking towards him from the mess hall.

“Dude, will you just chill for a second?” Jared said with a laugh. “The kids are on free time. They can do whatever they want. You don’t have to bark orders at them.”

“Your cabin’s a mess, Jared,” Jensen said, finally reaching him. “And if Caleb stands around chatting to you, there’s no way it’s gonna be tidy before they leave tomorrow.”

Jared glared at Jensen. Caleb was a member of Jared’s cabin, along with seven other boys, and it was true, their cabin wasn’t exactly sparkling clean, unlike Jensen's. Jared was pretty sure he could eat his dinner off the floor. But he resented being told what his boys should be doing. Especially by Jensen.

Things had changed between Jared and Jensen since the week of Jared’s birthday. Jared gave up trying to make Jensen like him, as a friend, and their relationship deteriorated into something that would be more at home on a junior high playground. They did nothing but gripe and snap at each other, always finding fault with something the other one did, and quite frankly, Jared was sick of it. He couldn’t wait to get home.

One thing that hadn’t changed though, was his crush. If anything it had only grown stronger since the day of his birthday, and in a way, Jared was glad for their snarky behavior. He didn’t really want to know what he would have done had Jensen actually been a decent guy who he actually got along with.

“Well, maybe I’m more worried about my boys having fun this summer than whether or not their beds are made. Anything that’s not finished by the time they leave, I’ll just do myself.”

Jensen set his jaw in a hard line. “That’s not how things work here, Jared. We’re supposed to be showing these kids how to behave, teaching them how to be responsible adults. Not proving to them that the adults will always be there if they fuck up.”

Jared knew that Jensen had been a counselor at the camp for four years, ever since the summer after his senior year of high school, and being head counselor this year did give him more responsibilities than the others, but it also seemed to suck the fun right out of him.

“I'm not real worried about how things work here, Jen. I’ve managed pretty well all summer, and I think my boys had a good time. Can you say the same about yours? From what I’ve seen, when they’re not cleaning their cabin, or taking part in the games, they’re zoned out by the lake, or catching Z’s in the mess hall. All your boys are gonna remember from this summer are wet dreams about Megan Fox, Jen.”

“At least my boys will go home knowing that they won the Camp Cup and didn’t come last like yours did.” Jensen turned on his heel and headed for his cabin. “And don’t call me ‘Jen’.”

Jared rolled his eyes. It was true, Jensen’s cabin had won the competition that was held every year, and Jared’s cabin had come in dead last. But he was still sure his cabin had a great time this summer.

“You okay?”

Jared started, surprised, and looked down to see Kristin standing next to him. He shrugged. “Yeah, I guess. I just really don’t like that guy.”

“No! Really? I mean, you hide it so well!” Kristin asked with a smirk.

Jared rolled his eyes. “This place would have been so much more awesome this summer, if it hadn’t been for him.”

Kristin smiled, looking in the direction Jensen had taken off in. “He’s a good counselor, Jay. He knows this camp inside out, and he knows what’s expected of him and his campers,” Kristin said as they started walking towards her cabin.

“Oh? And that explains why all the girls are throwing themselves at him? The campers and the counselors.”

Kristin laughed. “Have you seen him, Jared?! He’s not exactly the ugly duckling.”

Jared looked away from Kristin’s adoring eyes. He’d spent so long trying to not see Jensen that Kristin bringing it up was making him uncomfortable.

“But this is my third year here,” Kristin continued. “And I’ve never heard of him doing anything with any of the girls. Counselors or campers. Well, there was Danneel, but that was before he was a counselor, and they grew up together, so that doesn’t count.” She smirked up at him. “Besides, Jensen’s not the only counselor the girls have been talking about this summer. And I think some of the boys have you in their sights as well.”

Jared blinked, taken aback by the revelation. They’d reached her cabin and he could hear her girls inside, talking and giggling. He was pretty sure they were talking about him. And Jensen.

“I guess I’m just not on the Jensen Ackles bandwagon. I think next year, I’ll find another camp to work at.”

Kristin looked horrified. “Oh, come on, Jared! Don’t say that. You’re part of the team now, you’re one of us! You have to come back next year, everyone else is.”

“It’s only one ‘everyone else’ that I’m worried about, Kris.”

“You survived this year, Jay. Three months with the guy isn’t going to kill either of you.”

“If he’s running things next year, he might not want me back anyway,” Jared grumbled. He knew Jensen wasn’t officially taking over until the year after next, but he also knew it wasn’t public knowledge, and the thought of revealing the news to Kristin left and unpleasant taste in his mouth.

“You’re a good counselor, Jared, even Jensen can see that. We need all the good counselors we can get, especially if Chris isn’t coming back again.” Kristin took a few steps up the stairs to her cabin until she could look Jared in the eye. “Please say you’ll come back next year.” She batted her eyelashes. “Pwetty pwease?”

Jared laughed. “Okay, okay, fine. I’ll be back next year. I’ll go see Jeff right now and put my name down. Happy?”

“Ecstatic, especially since Misha and I already put it down for you.” With a giggle, Kristin turned and ran inside her cabin, leaving Jared staring after her.

“What? Kristin!”

Jensen slid to the ground behind his cabin and slammed his head back against the wall, basking in the pain for a second before his mind drifted back to his latest run in with Jared.

Every time he was within three feet of Jared, his hormones took over, and he could think of nothing but kissing him, of running his fingers through his hair, and other not so PG-13 rated things.

His crush had done nothing over the summer but escalate in its intensity, and seeing Jared every day, first thing in the morning when he was sleepy and bed-headed, or coming out of the lake dripping wet with his swim shorts hanging low on his narrow hips, had been nothing but sheer torture.

His plan to be mean to Jared until his crush faded had backfired, and only succeeded in turning him into a jerk, whose sole purpose was apparently to make Jared’s life at camp hell on earth.

He had to admit, if they made careers out of rubbing people the wrong way, he’d be set for life.

The only silver lining he could find to this particular cloud was that he had been such an ass to Jared all summer that there was no way the guy would ever want to come back next year and go through the torture all over again. It was a double edged sword though, because at the same time, Jensen knew that in two days time, when camp was officially over for the summer, he was never going to see Jared again.  
His heart broke a little bit.

His cell phone beeped, and Jensen pulled it out of his pocket. It was a text from Chris, informing him that he and Steve had arrived in California, and asking if he knew where Danneel kept the spare key to her apartment.

Jensen typed off a reply, telling Chris that the key was underneath the fire extinguisher, before he climbed back to his feet and came out from behind the cabin.

He could see Jared and Kristin, talking on the steps of her cabin, and he allowed himself a long look at Jared’s ass, marveling at the way his jeans hung low on his hips.

Then he shook his head and went into his cabin.

Jared yawned loudly, stretching his tall frame.

The last of the buses and cars were pulling away, and the camp was blessedly quiet.

Jensen had been right. Jared’s campers never did manage to get their cabin cleaned up before bed. So Jared had set his alarm for four am, and spent three hours cleaning as quietly as he could to before his boys woke for breakfast. But his efforts had left him exhausted and all he wanted to do was crash on his bed until it was time to go home the next day.

“You got a car, right?”

Jared blinked and looked down at Milo, who was suddenly standing right in front of him.

“Uh, yeah?” he answered unsurely. He hadn’t really gotten to know Milo much during the summer, barely exchanging pleasantries. So Milo asking him random questions about having a car was a little weird.

“Cool.” Milo grabbed him by the elbow. “We’re going into town for supplies.”

“Supplies?” Jared repeated as Milo pulled him towards the parking lot. Some of the other counselors were already there, waiting for them, apparently. “Supplies for what?” But Milo ignored him, leaving Jared by his truck and making his way across the parking lot to Danneel’s car.

“Last night of camp, we have a huge blow out,” Kristin explained, climbing into the passenger seat of Jared’s truck. “We all pitch in for food and alcohol, we have a huge bonfire at the lake, and we all just kick back and unwind after a hectic summer of running around after pre-pubescent animals.”

“They ain’t that bad,” Misha said. He was already settled in the middle of the bench seat which surprised Jared, but he decided not to wonder much about how he’d gotten in.

Jared looked out across the parking lot at the other cars. Genevieve and Milo were already waiting in Danneel’s car, while Tom rode shot gun with Jensen.

Jared watched Jensen smiling and joking with Tom, and he had to admit, it was nice to see.

“The rest of the counselors will build the bonfire and get everything set up,” Kristin said, pulling his attention back and away from Jensen. “And then we’ll party like it’s 1999.”

Jared laughed loudly. “Stuck in the nineties there, Kris?” He started his truck and watched as Jeff strolled across to Jensen’s Lexus and handed him a wad of cash through the window. Jensen took it with a nod of thanks.

“Jeff always pitches in,” Misha said, following his gaze. “He says as long as we don’t burn the camp down or get any of his counselors knocked up, we can do whatever we want.”

“That ever happen?” Jared asked, following Danneel out onto the main road into town. “The getting the counselors knocked up part, I mean.”

“Once,” Kristin answered with a smiled. “Happened back when Jensen, Tom and Danneel were still campers, but Jeff still makes us promise.”

“Promise what?”

Misha clapped him on the shoulder. “You’ll see.”

Standing at the cash register, Jared stared as their four shopping carts of supplies were checked out.

“That’s a lot of food,” he said with a low whistle.

Kristin laughed. “There’s a lot of us!”

“Um, but what’s with the Twister?” Jared asked, pointing at the game as the cashier scanned it through.

Kristin shrugged and rolled her eyes. “I gave up trying to understand Misha the day I met him.”

“Cash up.”

Jared looked up from Kristin to see Jensen standing in front of them, his hand held out.

“‘Please’ and ‘thank you’ would be nice,” Jared griped as he handed over his share of the money.

Jensen snatched the money out of his hand, before taking Kristin’s share from her. He turned back to the cashier and paid.

“You’re welcome,” Jared threw back at him. He sighed. “I am so glad this summer is over. I really think I might kill him if I have to spend any more time with him.”

“Oh, come on, Jay,” Kristin groaned. “After tonight, you won’t even have to think about him again, until next year.”

Jared shook his head. “I don’t know, Kris. I don’t know if I can put up with that guy for another three minutes, never mind another three months. And if he’s running things next year? He’ll be even worse.”

“Nothing’s set in stone about that, Jay. Jensen’s a senior this year, possibly Grad school next year. Maybe he’ll decide he doesn’t have the time to take over, or even join Jeff and Sam on staff.”

Jared smacked himself on the forehead. “Man, school. I completely forgot.”

Kristin frowned. “What?”

“My roommate and I…we got kicked out of our dorm at the end of last semester. We gotta find somewhere to live before school starts.”  
“Won’t your roommate be doing that back home?”

Jared laughed. “Yeah, you don’t know Chad.” He groaned. “I’ll be lucky to find anything this close to the start of the school year, never mind something decent that Chad and I can share.”

“Do I even wanna know what you did to get kicked out?”

Jared grinned. “Let’s just say it involved a lot of tequila, Chad’s low tolerance for alcohol and a dare. The little co-ed on the second floor was not pleased when a naked Chad ran into her room.”

“Oh, my God! He streaked?!”

“Yeah, and he was caught.” Jared shrugged. “Chad and I have been roommates since we were freshmen, so if he’s getting kicked out, I am too. So they told us at the end of the year that we weren’t welcome back. Man, it was hard work getting all my stuff cleared out in time to get here.”

“Where’s your stuff now?”

“His girlfriend has an apartment off campus, so we dumped it all there.”

“You should try for one of those apartment buildings that are owned by the school.” Kristin wrinkled her nose. “Unless your school doesn’t do that. Where do you go?”

“STU.” Jared watched Kristin’s eyes widened comically. “What?”

“Nothing,” she said quickly. “I just assumed you went to school out of State.” She turned her head away to hide the grin Jared could already see.

“Hey, you guys with us or what?” Jensen’s voice rang out across the store, preventing Jared from questioning Kristin further.

Jared rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, we’re coming. Keep your shirt on.”

Jensen gave him a scathing look before following Danneel out.

“Seriously, does that guy have any friends?” asked Jared.

“Me? I mean, I’m his friend,” Kristin said softly. “We write a lot during the year, text, the odd phone call. And he has Chris, and Danneel and Tom. He really is a nice person; you two just rub each other the wrong way, like two cats stuck in a paper bag together.”

Jared really tried not to think about Jensen and rubbing in the same sentence. Not when he was walking through a bright parking lot with Kristin on his arm.

“Well, would it kill him to be a little polite?” he said, trying to distract himself.

“You two just clash,” she pointed out again as she helped him load up his truck. “Why are you so worried about it?”

“I can’t help it, it’s weird. I’ve never…” he trailed off.

But Kristin could see where his train of thought was going and she looked up at him, her mouth hanging open in shock. “Oh, my God. Please don’t tell me you’ve never come across someone who doesn’t like you?”

Jared scratched behind his ear. “Of course I’ve met people who didn’t like me, just not to this extent. I’m a very likable person.”

She laughed. “Well, okay, I’ll give you that. Maybe that’s not the problem though.” Kristin’s eyes sparkled with some hidden secret Jared wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

He narrowed his eyes at her across the top of the truck, even though he could only see the top of her blonde head. “What are you talking about, Bell?”

Kristin just winked as she climbed into the truck.

Misha was already sitting in the truck, again. Jared really had to start checking whether or not he’d locked his doors. “She thinks Jensen’s crushing on you,” he said calmly.

“What?!” Jared dropped his keys, spinning in his seat until he could see both of them clearly.

Kristin laughed loudly as he retrieved the keys. “I’m not the only one who thinks it.”

Jared looked between them, trying to decide just what exactly he’d done to them to deserve this treatment. “What? Oh, God, please tell me you’re joking.”

Misha shrugged. “It’s all the girls have talked about all summer. And I have to admit, it does make a certain kind of sense.”

“No, it makes no sense, no sense at all. It’s senseless!” Jared yelled loudly. Oh, God, this was not happening. “Jensen’s not gay.” He chewed on his lower lip, looking from Misha to Kristin and back. “Is he?”

“I think that might be the problem, Jay,” Kristin said softly. “It would explain why he has such a mad on for you. Why he’s always so angry when he’s talking to you.”

“Why? ‘Cause he’s attracted to me and he resents me for that?”

“See?” Misha said, leaning back against the seat. “A certain kinda sense.”

Jared pointed a finger at him. “Shut the fuck up, man.” He looked back to Kristin. “Please tell me you don’t actually believe this?”

“I don’t know, Jay, you don’t see the way he looks at you when he thinks no one can see him.”

Jared started the truck. “I hate you both.”

This is not what he needed to hear. He did not want to know that Jensen could possibly be attracted to him, not when he was trying really hard, had been trying really hard for the last six weeks, not to be attracted to the guy at all. He had to admit, Jensen’s shitty attitude and his inability to speak to Jared in anything resembling a reasonable tone of voice had helped, if only a little. Okay, it didn’t help at all, but what if that was Jensen’s way of coping? If he was acting like a jerk because it was the only way he could deal with the feelings he was having for Jared?

Jared ran his hands through his hair, waiting for Jensen to pull out of the parking lot before him.

If there was any truth to what Kristin and Misha were telling him, things at camp just got a hell of a lot more interesting. Too bad the summer was already over.

He was chewing on his lower lip again when he caught sight of Misha staring at him. “What?” he asked sharply.

“I was just wondering,” Misha said absently, picking at his fingernails.

“Wondering what?”

“You haven’t told us whether or not you’re into Jensen, I was just wondering if that meant anything.”

Kristin giggled like a twelve year old.

Jared slammed on the breaks, causing Danneel to swerve behind them.

“Get out of my car. Both of you.”


	5. Chapter 5

“Okay, line it up!” Jeff said loudly. He was standing in front of the bonfire next to Sam, holding a black bag in his left hand.

“Huh?” Jared asked in confusion. He and the other newbies, Genevieve and Vinnie, watched as the other counselors started to organize themselves into some sort of order.

Kristin rolled her eyes and broke out of line. Taking him by the hand, she led Jared to the head of the line, before she took hold of Genevieve and Vinnie by the elbows and placed them next to him. He craned his neck, using all of his height to his advantage, and saw Jensen at the other end of the line, and he realized that everyone was lined up according to their length of service to the camp.

“What’s going on?” Genevieve asked. She looked nervous; as if she was sure she’d gotten herself into trouble somehow.

Jared could see Jensen, Tom and Danneel laughing hysterically at the other end of the line. Kristin and Lauren were giggling quietly, while Misha just looked bored, like he wanted to get this over with.

“Now, we know this is your last night here, and we know you guys like to party,” Jeff continued, causing the giggles and the laughter to be quieted to stifled snorts. “And you know that we, meaning me and Sam, and now Jensen, I guess,” Tom whooped loudly and Jared sighed. _Well, I guess that’s out._ “We turn a blind eye to the underage drinking.” He eyed the underage counselors, which was pretty much everyone but Jensen, Tom and Danneel, with a smirk. “But there is one thing we will not tolerate and one thing we will not compromise on, ‘cause we’re selfish and we want you all back next year.”

Jared was reminded of the conversation he had with Misha and Kristin on the way into town, about counselors getting knocked up and he eyed the black bag with renewed curiosity as Jeff walked to the head of the line.

“Noobs go first,” he said to Vinnie, holding the bag open and giving it a shake.

With a nervous look at the other newbies, Vinnie reached his hand into the bag. Jared saw him frown in confusion as he pulled his hand out and stare at the foil packet.

Jared laughed loudly as soon as he saw the condom.

Jeff smirked and moved on to Genevieve, who was shaking her head, her dark brown hair whipping around her face. “I’m not planning on having sex tonight,” she said quietly. Someone down the line laughed and mumbled something under their breath.

“Don’t care,” Jeff said. “You take one anyway.”

Rolling her eyes, Genevieve stuck her hand into the bag and pulled out a condom with a huff of breath.

Jared was next, and he dived into the bag. He stuck the foil wrapper between his teeth and winked and Jeff, who just laughed and moved on.

Soon, all the counselors had little foil squares in their hands.

Vinnie, apparently, had been doing his own version of math.

“One condom each?” he asked in disgust. “So, that means, unless we hook up with the same person twice, or two or more of us hooks up with the same person, we can only have sex once?”

The other counselors groaned at him, while Jeff and Sam just laughed.

“Unless there’s someone here who everyone wants,” Sam said with a grin. “The rules are what they are.”

Jared couldn’t help but look down the line at Jensen, who looked away quickly, and Jared realized Jensen had been staring at him.

Something fluttered in his stomach at the knowledge.

Vinnie broke rank to look down the line at Kristin, then Danneel. “Sorry, Kristin, but I gotta go with the red head.”

Kristin’s mouth dropped open, offended at being passed over.

“As if!” Danneel objected loudly. “Jensen, honey?”

Jared heard Jensen snort. “I’ll meet you in the boat house, sweetheart.”

Jared smiled as he felt himself relax. “So much for that theory,” he mumbled softly. He’d already known about the history between Danneel and Jensen, the Prom King and Queen, and it looked as though those old feelings were still there.

So, he attributed the rolling in his stomach to hunger.

“Alright!” Jeff called again, bringing everyone’s attention back to him. “Everyone raise your condoms.”

Jared laughed hysterically as he raised his condom in a toast.

“To Alona, Chad and baby Dylan!” Jensen intoned loudly.

“Alona, Chad and baby Dylan!” the others repeated.

Jared couldn’t help but smile. Trust a Chad to be the one to get everyone in trouble.

“Dude, Dylan’s like, six years old now, or something,” Tom said, smacking Jensen on the arm. “He’s not a baby anymore.”

Jared saw Jensen shrug. “That toast is a tradition, Tom. You don’t change traditions.”

“Okay, have fun you guys,” Sam said as she took Jeff by the hand and led them both away from the bonfire. They headed towards the main house and their private rooms, rooms Jared guessed would be Jensen’s next year.

He frowned. He couldn’t understand why the knowledge that Jensen wasn’t going to be a regular counselor next year bothered him so much. He put the thought into his back pocket, along with the condom, and turned back to the assembled group.

“Keep Misha away from the barbeque!” Lauren yelled as the line broke and the party began.

“Hey! I resent that!” Misha said with a pout. “I’m a good cook.”

“Yes, that might be true,” Lauren laughed. “But who was the one who set themselves on fire last year?”

“He did what?” Genevieve asked, astounded.

Misha lifted up his shirt to reveal a small scar on his left hip. “It wasn’t my fault. Tom had the coals way too hot.”

“Do not blame this on me, ass hat,” Tom said as he started throwing burgers on the grill. Evidently, he would be the one doing the cooking. “You were drunk.”

“I don’t dispute that,” Misha said with a smile. “But just because of one little accident, that happened a long time ago, does not mean I am not a good cook.”

Genevieve sidled up beside him and handed him a beer. “I’m sure you’re a great cook. But who wants to be stuck behind a grill all night when there are so many other interesting things to do?”

“So much for no sex tonight, huh, Gen?” Milo laughed as he unfolded the Twister mat.

“Oh, no,” Jared groaned. “I am way too sober for Twister.”

“Well then,” Kristin said. “Let’s work on fixing that.” She was holding two shots of tequila and passed one off to Jared.

Jared raised his glass. “To my first last night. Maybe my only last night.”

Kristin laughed as she followed his lead and knocked back the shot.

Jared was pleasantly buzzed. He wouldn’t go as far as to say he was drunk, but he knew he wasn’t sober anymore. Still, he did notice when Danneel and Jensen disappeared, even if he told himself not to think about it.

He sat on the stump of an old tree and chewed on his lower lip, actively not thinking about what Jensen and Danneel were doing in the boat house, while he spun the Twister dial for those playing.

“Misha, right hand blue.”

“You have got to be kidding me!” Kristin laughed. She was bent into almost a complete bridge, her hands and feet all on different colored circles. Misha would have to reach all the way across her body to the blue circle.

Jared shook his head. “Sorry, Kris, I don’t tell the board how to spin.” He spun the dial again. “Gen, left foot green.”

“Uh, it’s on green, dickwad,” Genevieve spat, her head hanging upside down, her long brown hair trailing back and forth across the play mat.

“That’s your right foot, sweetie,” Jared told her gently.

“Oh,” she said after a slight pause as she worked through her drunken haze. She moved her foot to the green circle, but she brushed against Misha’s leg on the way, causing him to lose his balance.

Kristin let out a piercing scream as he fell on top of her, and the three of them crashed to the mat in a heap.

“So not my fault!” Misha yelled as he untangled himself from the girls.

“I’m declaring Kristin the winner, just ‘cause I can,” Jared said, tossing the spinner aside.

“Yay!” Kristin bounced as she got back to her feet.

“Unfair,” Misha grumbled. He picked up the discarded spinner. “Get those mutated limbs of yours on the mat.”

Jared shook his head. “No way, man. I still haven’t had enough alcohol.”

“I heard screaming. Surely it’s way too early for the orgy.” Jared turned to see Jensen walking towards the game. Danneel was following meekly behind.

Jared watched as she made her way across the shore to the jetty, sitting down and dangling her feet in the dark water.

“Huh,” Jared said with a frown.

“What?” Misha asked. He’d taken Jared’s seat on the tree stump. Milo, Jensen, Genevieve and Kristin were waiting by the mat for him to spin for them.

“What? Uh, nothing, nothing. Just, wondering about something, I guess.” Jared turned to look back at Danneel, then shook his head. If something was going on between Jensen and Danneel, that was none of his business, right?

Sighing, he jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “I’m gonna go get a burger.”

“Jared said I was the winner last time, so I get to go first,” he heard Kristin sing, alcohol making her voice high and child-like. He made his way over to the grill by the mess hall. Tom was still slinging burgers.

“Hey, man,” he said when he saw Jared approach.

“Tom, are you going to stay behind this barbeque all night?”

Tom laughed, chugging his beer, “Man, if I leave this grill, Misha will want to take over, and he’s had way too much to drink. Trust me; you do not want to eat anything his intoxicated hands have touched.” He shivered theatrically. “Don’t know where they’ve been.”

“I’ll take over,” Jared said suddenly, surprising himself as much as Tom. “You should enjoy the party, man.”

Tom grinned. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, man. Go play some Twister.”

Tom bounced and slapped Jared on the back before bounding away towards the game.

Jared laughed and started flipping burgers, taking a beer from the ice box Tom set beside the grill. He took a long pull as he twirled the fork between his fingers.

He looked up as someone let out a scream and watched as Kristen fell into Jensen’s lap, both of them tumbling to the mat in a giggly pile.  
With everyone’s attention focused elsewhere, Jared allowed himself to stare at Jensen, seeing the guy happy and relaxed for the first time all summer. He watched as Jensen helped Kristin back to her feet, before he stepped aside to allow Tom to take his place in the game.  
Jensen stood behind Misha to watch the others play, laughing and shouting at the guys on the mat. He was drinking from his own bottle of beer, and Jared watched with rapt fascination as he took a drink, the muscles in his throat working as he swallowed. Jared felt his mouth go dry as he continued to stare.

“YES! Winner and still champion!” A voice drew Jared’s attention and he turned to see Lauren with her hands in the air, a triumphant smile on her face. There was a game of beer pong set up in front of her, and Vinnie stood with a scowl on his face, his hands on his hips.  
Zachery, Danneel and some of the kitchen staff were applauding, and Jared could tell that Vinnie had just had his ass handed to him at beer pong by Lauren. Jared didn’t know which was worse to Vinnie, that he was beaten by a girl, or that he was beaten by an English girl.

Jared looked down to see that the burgers he was supposed to be looking after now resembled something akin to charcoal. “Oh, shit,” he grumbled, removing the burnt meat and dumping it back into the cooler it came in.

“You’re not supposed to cheat!”

Jared looked up sharply to see Jensen walking backwards away from the game. Milo and Kristin were giggling loudly.

Jensen spun around and stopped short when he saw Jared behind the barbeque. The soft amusement that had brightened his face disappeared completely.

Jared found, to his surprise, that he liked that smile. He hadn’t had a chance to see it much over the course of the summer. It was a nice change to the scowl Jensen usually threw at him, the one he was wearing right now.

“Veggie burger,” Jensen said gruffly.

Jared chewed on his lower lip again as he contemplated the burgers on the grill before him. “We have veggie burgers?”

Jensen rolled his eyes. “You gotta be kidding me. Can’t you do anything right?”

“Hey, I just got here. I only took over to let Tom enjoy the party. It’s not my fault he didn’t tell me which ones are the veggie burgers.”

“And of course, you never thought to ask.”

Jared sighed angrily. “I can’t believe you’re picking a fight over burgers!” he yelled. “Look, I know you’re not a vegetarian, I saw you eat that burger at The Road House, so why can’t you just take any burger and go back to the party and leave me the hell alone!”

Jensen’s eyes darkened. “I can’t wait ‘til tomorrow so I never have to look at you again.” He turned on his heel and walked away.

Jared glared after him, as he watched Jensen climb the steps to his cabin.

He was chewing on his lip again when someone approached the grill. “Burger me, dude, I’m starving.”

Jared looked up at Zachery as the younger man appraised the grill with obvious hunger. A thought hit Jared and he glanced back at Jensen’s cabin before he narrowed his eyes at Zachery. “Hey, Zach, you wanna do me a favor?”

Zachery frowned. “Depends. What are we talking about here?”

“Take over the grill and you can eat as many burgers as you like.”

Zachary grinned. “Sweet.”

Jared left him to it and ran after Jensen to the cabin.

“You know, I thought after getting some, you might actually loosen up a little,” Jared said when he found Jensen leaning against one of the bunk beds in his cabin, his forehead resting on his arm. It wasn’t what he’d meant to say, but hey, it was better than professing his undying lust, right?

Jensen’s head snapped up to glare at him. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“I saw you and Danneel sneaking back after your little tryst,” Jared smirked. “Although, I don’t think you quite got the job done, seeing as how she was sitting by the lake, looking like she’s about to scream or cry, I don’t know which.”

Jensen stood up straight. “You think I slept with Danneel?”

“Didn’t you?”

Jensen reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out his condom. He studied Jared carefully. “What’s it to you, anyway? Why do you care?”

“Nothing,” Jared said, a little too quickly. “I mean, I don’t care. I just wanna know what your problem is with me. You seem to hate me. A lot. What did I ever do to you to deserve you treating me like I just killed your puppy?”

“You were you,” Jensen muttered, turning away.

Jared blinked. “What?”

“Never mind,” Jensen said, spinning around to face him again. “I’m going back to the party.”

“No, Jen. I want to know what the hell you’re talking about.” The conversation he’d had with Kristin and Misha came back to Jared again, and his eyes widened with knowledge. “You _are_ attracted to me.”

A blush colored Jensen’s face and he turned away again, towards his bed at the back of the cabin. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“You are. You think I’m hot, and because you want my ass, that’s my fault?”

“I don’t want any part of you, Jared.” Jensen said, but his voice was strained.

“If this is how you act when you have a crush, I really feel sorry for all the other people you’ve had feelings for,” Jared scoffed.

Jensen spun to face him. “I’ve never had feelings for another guy before, not one I know in person, anyway.” He snapped his mouth shut, knowing he’d just admitted to crushing on Jared.

Jared laughed loudly. “That’s why you’re freaking out? ‘Cause this is the first time you’ve got the hots for a guy? That’s no reason to take it out on me. It’s not my fault you wanna jump my bones. I mean, you don’t see me yelling in your face every five seconds.” Jared’s eyes grew wide when what he’d said registered in his mind. Apparently he did come to profess. Great.

Jensen stared at him. “Why should you be yelling at me?”

“No, I didn’t – that’s not what I –” Realization crashed down on Jared, making his breathing grow shallow and his heart race. “I, uh, I think I’m gonna go back to the party now.”

Jensen, angry now at having his feelings laid bare, stomped after him as he tried to leave the cabin. “Oh, no way. You were the one who wanted to talk about this, so let’s talk. What do you wanna know? You wanna know about how ever since the first moment I saw you, I’ve done nothing but think about you? How I lie in bed every night, I can’t get you out of my head?”

Jared ignored him and kept walking towards the door until Jensen reached out and grabbed his arm. “This was your idea, Jared, don’t bail on me ‘cause things are getting a little too personal.” Jensen pulled on his arm again.

With a growl of resignation, Jared spun around and faced Jensen. Before he could change his mind, Jared reached out and grabbed Jensen by the front of his shirt and pulled him forward. Jensen lost his balance and crashed into Jared’s chest, using his hands to brace the impact. But his cries of indignation were cut off when Jared’s lips crushed against his.

The kiss was quick and hard, but chaste.

Jensen pushed him away. “What the hell did you do that for?”

Jared shrugged. “I think I wanted to.”

“You _think_ you wanted to?”

“Yeah, I wanted to, okay?” Jared almost screamed. “And you know what else I think?”

“Enlighten me,” Jensen bit off.

“I think I was jealous when I thought you were off banging Danneel.”

Jensen nodded, studying him carefully. “I don’t like you.”

Jared rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I got that. Your subtle little hints all summer long worked.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “And for the record, you’re not exactly on my Christmas card list, either.”

“Good, as long as we are on the same page,” Jensen said, right before he shoved Jared against the wall and kissed him back.

Jared’s mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. He grabbed Jensen’s biceps, set on pushing him away, but Jensen chose that exact moment to run his tongue across Jared’s lower lip.

Jared gasped and Jensen took the opportunity that Jared’s open mouth presented and pushed his tongue inside, tangling with Jared’s, searching his mouth, trying to control the kiss with his tongue.

Jared’s push turned into a pull as he tried to get as much contact as possible, his lips moving along Jensen’s jaw and down his throat to the tan flesh visible through the open buttons of his shirt. He sucked a mark into Jensen’s skin just below his collar bone before moving back to his lips.

Jensen’s hands tangled with his hair, before running his fingertips down the sides of face, his neck and down to his chest, as if he was trying to touch every part of Jared he could reach. Jensen growled when he found the muscular chest hidden beneath Jared’s T-shirt.  
“Dammit,” he mumbled as he broke the kiss, resting his forehead against Jared’s shoulder.

Jared thumped his head back against the wall and swallowed hard as he tried to control his breathing.

“Okay,” he said, staring at the ceiling. “Here’s what I propose.” Jensen snorted and Jared smacked him on the ass. “Neither of us is exactly sober right now. This is our last night here. We’re probably never gonna see each other again. Why don’t we …?”

“Why don’t we what?” Jensen asked, a little breathless. Jared pushed his knee between Jensen’s legs, grinding his thigh up into Jensen’s obvious erection. Jensen moaned. “I swear to God, I'm gonna kill you. Right here. Right now.”

Jared grabbed Jensen by the back of his neck and pulled him close, kissing him again.

When Jensen pulled back, he was even more breathless than before. “Okay, maybe I’ll kill you tomorrow.”

Jared laughed as Jensen’s lips attached themselves to his jaw line. “Okay, so, um, one time only. You’ll never have to see me again after tomorrow.”

“Your name’s already down for next year,” Jensen mumbled against his throat.

“So take it off,” Jared replied. “You’re the boss now. You’ve made it clear you don’t want me.”

“Oh, I want you,” Jensen almost growled. His green eyes met Jared’s hazel ones. “One night. No one knows, no one ever finds out.”

“Dude, do you think I want anyone to know I sucked you off?” Jared’s eyes grew wide as he watched Jensen’s pupils’ dilate.

“You…you want to…” Jensen swallowed, trying to make his voice work. “That’s what you want?”

Jared looked away from Jensen’s intense gaze and studied the far wall, trying to get his thoughts straight. He took a deep breath. “Yeah, I think I really do.”

Before he could get cold feet, Jared grabbed Jensen by the shoulders and spun him around, exchanging their positions and slamming Jensen against the wall.

He didn’t even give Jensen time to think as he dropped to his knees.

“Jesus Christ!” Jensen grunted as Jared’s fingers fumbled with his belt buckle, finally getting it opened. He popped the button and lowered the zipper. “I can’t believe I’m letting you do this.”

“Shut the fuck up, Jen,”

“Don’t call me-” Jensen was cut off when Jared’s lips closed around the head of his cock.

Jared paused, trying to decide what he should be feeling. He’d never done this before, he didn’t know what to expect.

He didn’t know what to _do_.

Jared hadn’t dated a whole lot during college so far, and the one girl he had dated for more than five minutes, Sandy, wasn’t real keen on giving blow jobs. Plus, it wasn’t like there was an instruction manual.

Tentatively, he flicked his tongue out against the head of Jensen’s hard cock, tasted the pre-come that had gathered there. It was bitter, but not as bad as he expected. Jared made a soft sound of approval in the back of his throat.

“Oh, fuck!” Jensen yelled suddenly.

Keeping his lips around Jensen’s cock, Jared rolled his eyes too look up through his lashes at the face of the man he was currently sucking off.

Jared gasped. Or he would have, had his mouth not been otherwise engaged.

Jensen’s head was thrown back in abandon, his eyes closed, mouth agape.

It was the most beautiful sight Jared had ever seen.

Encouraged by Jensen’s reaction, Jared took him deeper, running his tongue along the cluster of nerves beneath the head, causing Jensen to buck his hips forward. Jared reached out to take hold of his hips, holding him still even has he started a tuneless hum that he knew would send vibrations all through Jensen.

“Fuck, you’re killing me here,” Jensen breathed, writhing in Jared’s grip. His hands tangled in Jared’s messy hair, holding on tightly.

Jared laughed, which only caused Jensen to scream even more.

He knew he was making sloppy work, there was spit running down his hand as he jacked Jensen off with his hand as he sucked at the head of his cock, but he just couldn’t find it within himself to care. Jensen was making noises Jared had never even imaged. He was harder than he could ever remember being, and the fact that he was turned on by sucking another guy’s dick wasn’t even on his radar.

Jared pulled back a little, tonguing the slit. He could tell Jensen was close; his ranting had descended into meaningless noises. Jared swallowed around Jensen’s cock.

“Jay!” Jensen gasped, right before he came, shooting down Jared’s throat. Jared swallowed every drop down greedily until Jensen was spent.

Jared let Jensen’s limp cock slip from his mouth and sat back on his heels, looking up at him. “Okay, so you’re allowed to give _me_ a nickname?” It probably wasn’t the best thing to say after giving his first blowjob, but it was the best he could come up with.

Jensen growled and dragged Jared back to his feet. “Get the fuck up here.” Jensen smashed his lips against Jared’s, tasting himself on Jared’s tongue, as his hands worked their way beneath the waist band of Jared’s cargo pants.

Jared gasped when Jensen’s fingers closed around his cock, his thumb swiping across the head, spreading pre-come down his shaft.  
“Christ, Jen,” he moaned, bucking forward, fucking Jensen’s hand like he couldn’t get enough.

All too soon he was nearing that peak, teetering on the edge of his orgasm and all he needed was –

Jensen scraped the nail of his thumb over the head of Jared’s cock and that was it. He came with a shout, exploding over Jensen’s hand.

“Fuck,” he mumbled as he collapsed against Jensen.

“Yeah,” Jensen agreed. His breathing was still heavy, like he hadn’t come down from his high yet, and Jared couldn’t help but feel a little proud that he was the cause.

Jared stepped back, letting Jensen remove his hand from his pants. He’d made a mess and he would have to go and change before he went back to the party, but he couldn’t find it within himself to be upset about that.

He watched as Jensen fixed his pants and crossed the cabin to the duffel bag that was sitting on the floor. There were clothes spilling out of it in a lame attempt at packing, and Jensen pulled out a grey t-shirt and wiped off his hand before tossing it back into the bag.

“I should get out of here before anyone notices I’m gone,” Jared said softly.

“Right,” Jensen agreed, his back still to Jared.

Jared felt the pang of sadness in his chest as he walked to the door, but he couldn’t find the words to say what he wanted to say. He didn’t even know what that was. “See you around, Jen,” he whispered before he left the cabin and hurried quickly to his own.

Jared barely managed to pull on a not-so clean pair of jeans when the door burst open and Kristin tripped in.

“There you are!” she exclaimed. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

“Sorry, spilled a beer,” Jared said, the lie sliding easily off his tongue. “I was just changing.”

“You wasted good beer by spilling it?” She was outraged. “You are not the man I thought you were Jared Padal…Pala…”

Jared laughed. “Please don’t try to pronounce my name when you’re drunk. You can barely pronounce it when you’re sober.”

“I respent that!”

“And I’d feel bad if you hadn’t just mispronounced ‘resent’.”

Kristin huffed. “Come on, you need more alcohol so that you can stop making fun of me.”

She took him by the hand and led him back to the party.


	6. Chapter 6

“Cell phone,” Kristin demanded the next morning as Jared loaded his bags into the bed of his truck. She held out her hand and waited impatiently, squinting up at him through the hangover he knew she must be feeling.

“Okay,” Jared said slowly. He pulled his cell out of the pocket of his jeans and handed it over to her warily.

He watched as Kristin flipped his phone open and entered her number. He heard her own cell ring before she flipped the phone closed and gave it back.

“No excuse for not keeping in touch with me now,” she said with a smile. “I don’t want you ignoring me until next year.”

Jared scratched the back of his head. “Uh, yeah, about next year.”

Kristin groaned. “Oh, Jay, come on! I thought we talked about this.”

“Look, some stuff happened last night. We were drunk, yeah, but some stuff was said, and it’s obvious he doesn’t like me, or want me on his staff, so I’ve decided to cut my losses.” Jared shrugged. “This is a voluntary gig, Kristin. I don’t have to put up with Jensen if I don’t want to, and right now, I really don’t want to.”

Sadness welled in Kristin’s eyes at his comment, and he almost changed his mind, but Jensen chose that exact moment to walk out of the main house with Tom and Danneel, his rucksack thrown over one shoulder, and Jared’s resolve strengthened.

Kristin took a deep breath. “Okay, look, I’m not going to try and get you to change your mind or anything, just promise me something.”

“Anything.”

“You’ve got a long time between now and when you have to make the decision on whether or not you’re coming back next year. Just don’t make that decision now. A lot can change in a year, Jay.”

“I’ve already told him I won’t be back, Kris, it’s settled.” Jared tried to hide the blush that climbed up his neck when he mentioned the deal he’d made with Jensen the night before.

“Sam and Jeff are still in charge, Jared,” Kristin reminded. “Jensen doesn’t get the keys to the castle until the end of next summer.”

Jared narrowed his eyes at her. “How do you know that?”

“He told us a breakfast.”

Breakfast. Which Jared had gone out of his way to avoid. He shrugged. “It doesn’t matter anyway.”

“Please just think about?” Kristin begged.

Jared rolled his eyes and caught Jensen’s gaze across the parking lot. He was standing next to Danneel’s car with her and Tom, watching as Misha and Lauren drove away. They stared at each other for a few seconds, before Jensen looked away when Danneel said something and the moment, whatever it was, was lost.

“Okay,” Jared said against his better judgment. “I’ll think about it.”

“Yay!” Kristin stood up on tip toe to kiss his cheek.” “I am so going to spend the whole year bugging you until you agree to come back. And I’ll work on Jensen, too, sort out his issues.”

“His issue is me,” Jared reminded, but she ignored him completely.

She smiled slyly at up at him. “Who knows, maybe someone at your school will help you change your mind.”

“I doubt it.”

“Stranger things have happened.”

“They really haven’t.”

Cars honked, and Jared and Kristin turned to see Milo’s car pulling away, with Genevieve and Vinnie following, and then the only cars in the lot were Jared’s truck, Jensen’s Lexus, Danneel’s sporty thing, and Jeff and Sam’s SUV.

“You need a ride anywhere?” Jared asked Kristin when he realized she didn’t have a car.

She shook her head. “No, thanks. I have a standing agreement with your most favorite person ever.” She laughed. “Jensen’s been picking me up at the bus station and dropping me off since my first summer here. Can’t say no just ‘cause I get an offer from you.”

“I understand,” he said quietly, even though he really didn’t. He reached down and pulled her close, hugging her tight. It was probably the last time he would see her, so he wanted to say a proper good bye.

“I know what you’re doing,” she said with a laugh.

He pulled back, shrugging sheepishly. “Can’t blame me for being pessimistic.”

“Yes, I can.” She looked across the parking lot at the threesome gathered around Danneel’s car. “Now, I’ll distract Jensen if you wanna go say goodbye to the other two.”

He nodded silently and watched as she dragged her rucksacks across the asphalt towards Jensen’s car before Jensen took pity on her, pushed away from Danneel and crossed to help her.

Jared took the opportunity to say his goodbyes to Danneel and Tom, deciding not to mention his plans for next year when they told them they’d see him again, each of them promising to keep in touch throughout the year.

Jared took a deep breath, climbed behind the wheel of his truck and started the engine. He watched through the windshield as Tom climbed into the driver’s seat of Danneel’s sporty red thing, leaving Kristin to ride with Jensen alone.

Jared was surprised by the pang of jealousy in his stomach.

Tom honked at him as he drove away, Danneel and Kristin waving at him from their respective shotgun seats.

Jensen just glared.

Jensen reached for the iPod plugged into the center console of his car.

“If you touch that fucking thing one more time, I’m going to throw it out the window.”

Startled, Jensen looked at Tom, lounging in the passenger seat. “What’s your problem?”

“You!” Tom yelled, straightening up in his seat. “I’ve been in this car for an hour and we’ve only managed to get through three songs. I have half a mind to call Danneel and tell her to pull over at the side of the freeway so I can ride back to town with her.”

Jensen glared at him out of the corner of his eye. It had been Tom’s idea to switch cars at the last rest stop and ride the rest of the way back home with Jensen after driving Danneel’s car from the camp until their first stop.

“You were the one who said you were sick of listening to her whining about…whatever she was whining about. But hey, if you wanna go back to that, be my guest.”

“Even listening to her going on and on about Chris is better than your fidgeting and general annoying-ness.”

“I’m not fidgeting,” Jensen said, even as he shifted in his seat, effectively proving Tom’s point. He frowned. “Wait, Chris? What’s she talking about Chris for?”

“Dude, he’s all she’s talked about all summer, please tell me you haven’t somehow managed to miss her constant lamenting on the subject every day at breakfast?”

Jensen frowned. Breakfast was the only meal of the day that the counselors spent together, the rest shared with their campers, and considering Jensen had spent every morning of the summer steadfastly ignoring just how perfectly gorgeous Jared looked fresh out of bed, all bed-headed and sleep-puffy, it was quite possible that he had, in fact, missed everything Danneel had to say.

“I was listening,” he lied. “I just didn’t realize she had a point. I mean, Chris is her best friend, or one of them anyway, why shouldn’t she talk about him?”

“They fucked in cabin three last year,” Tom said calmly.

“What?!” he turned in his seat to glare at Tom, wrenching the wheel of the car with him.

“Dude! Will you watch what you’re doing?” Tom scolded. He waited until Jensen had control of the car again before he spoke. “I don’t know all the details, or even if it’s actually true or if it’s just Dani messing with my head, but she said she wanted cabin three this year because it held some good memories of her and Chris. So, with my powerful skills of deduction, I have decided that she obviously meant last year, as the year before she had that boyfriend she left back at UCLA, and the year before that, you two were still trying to prove you were the perfect match, even though the rest of us knew you’d kill each other in under a month.”

“We lasted longer than a month,” Jensen reminded. “We were together all through junior year in high school.”

“And how many times did you cheat during that year, Jensen?” Jensen shrugged and Tom laughed. “I’d probably care more if I didn’t know she was doing the tight end of the football team after every game.”

Jensen rolled his eyes. This was not news, nor something he really wanted to discuss right now. Danneel was his best friend, nothing more, and if they happened to hook up once in a while, when she was in town, then that was no one’s business but theirs.

The fact that she had somehow managed to hook up with Chris too, without any of their knowledge, was making things in their little group feel off.

“Danneel and Chris?” he asked aloud, his inner ramblings doing nothing to help the situation. “That’s like…incest, man.”

Tom laughed. “What? And you and Danneel isn’t incest?”

“Dani and I have been doing this thing since we were fourteen. We lost our virginities to each other, man. That’s a whole different thing.”

“Jensen, it’s always been incest to me,” Tom said with a sigh, leaning back in his seat. “I’ve always thought of you and Danneel as the brother and sister I never had. When you two hooked up, it was a weird time for all of…well, it was weird for me, but mostly I was just glad Chris was around, otherwise, who the fuck would I have hung out with?”

Jensen cast him a side long glance as he took the exit that would take them home. “So, you and Danneel have never…?” he let the question hang.

Tom laughed. “Dude, when would I have had the time to hook up with Danneel? I’ve been with my girl since freshman year, which has left me no time to hook up with her.” He wrinkled his nose. “Although, now that I’m thinking about it, we’re back to the incest thing.”

“Tom, man, when are we going to meet this fucking girl of yours?” Jensen asked, punching Tom in the arm. “It’s been almost three years, and I still don’t even know what she looks like. I’m starting to think she doesn’t exist.”

“There’s been no time to introduce you, that’s all. She goes home for the holidays and vacations; and we spend all summer at camp. The only time we actually get to spend alone, apart from the odd weekend she comes to visit, is spring break and these two weeks before we head back to school. And dude, I love you and all, but I do not want to be sharing when we have all that time to ourselves.”

Jensen laughed. “Okay, fine, I see your point. But one day, you’re going to run out of excuses and you’re going to have to introduce her to us, and we’re going to find out just exactly what kind of she-beast you’ve fallen for.”

Tom narrowed his eyes at Jensen. “How do you know it’s her I don’t want to introduce? Maybe I don’t want to subject her to you three fuckers, and run the risk of her finding out I’m not as cool as she thinks I am.”

“Just for that, I’m gonna hunt out those pictures of you at that Halloween party in tenth grade.”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

“Try me, Superman.”

“You are one evil bastard, it’s no wonder Jared hated you. Speaking of the Sasquatch, now that we’re officially done for the summer and you’re not his boss anymore, you wanna tell me what happened between you guys?”

Jensen felt color drain from his face at the mention of Jared and his hands tightened on the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white.

He’d been doing fine, brooding alone in the car over his actions with Jared the night before, but he wasn’t ready to dissect the incident.

He shrugged in his seat, glancing in his mirrors, at the speedometer, anything to keep his gaze away from Tom. “What do you mean? Nothing happened between us.”

“Bull. Shit.” Tom said with a laugh. “Every time you looked at the guy I thought you were gonna pull out a sawed-off shot gun and blow him the hell away. Something musta happened.”

“He was just…rude,” Jensen answered. He knew it sounded pathetic, it sounded pathetic even to him, but what else could he say? That he was struck dumb by the guy’s sheer gorgeousness? None of his friends knew he was attracted to guys, and he wasn’t going to come out while driving his second-hand Lexus, five minutes from home.

Tom snorted. “That’s it? He was rude?”

“Yeah, he was rude. You don’t show up on your first day of a new job and insult your boss.”

“Did he know you were his boss?” Tom asked. “When he was being rude, I mean.” He rolled his eyes. “Or soon to be boss, anyway. You haven’t actually signed the paperwork yet.”

“That’s not the point, man,” Jensen said, ignoring the jibe. “He was starting a new job, meeting what he should have figured was a fellow co-worker, anyone else would have been on their best behavior, instead, he takes a metaphorical punch at the first guy he sees.”

Tom shrugged. “He seemed fine when I ran into him, if a little confused.”

“Confused? Confused how?”

“He wanted to know why the angry little man with the clipboard told him to go fuck himself,” Tom said blandly.

“I am not little,” Jensen bit off. “I’m taller than Chris. Just ‘cause you and Jared are freakishly tall fuckers does not make the rest of us abnormally small.” Tom chuckled. “And I did not tell him to go fuck himself.”

Did he? The whole incident was kind of a blur now.

“It doesn’t matter what you said, Jensen, you still said it. You didn’t even give the guy a chance. The way I hear it, he asked you a question, which you didn’t answer, he cracked a joke, and you lost your shit.”

Jensen sighed. Looking back…yeah, he can see how he might have been the one to fuck things up. It’s not like he had a manual for stuff like this happening, but he could have handled it a little better.

“I was pissed at Chris,” Jensen said, trying to explain himself. “But Chris wasn’t around. Jared was the first person I saw.”

“So you decided to take your anger out on him and thus alienated him as a friend for the rest of your natural lives.” He could almost hear Tom rolling his eyes. “Nice going, dick.”

“It’s not like I did it on purpose.”

“It’s cool, you’ll make it up to him next year and everything will be fine,” Tom said, as if it was set in stone and couldn’t be disputed.

Jensen put the car in park outside Tom’s house and rubbed the back of his neck in an embarrassed sort of gesture. “He’s not coming back next year.” Danneel honked her horn as she breezed past them, pulling into her own driveway a few houses down the street.

“What do you mean; he’s not coming back next year?” Tom repeated. “His name’s down on the register, I spoke to Jeff and Sam before I left, and they said everyone was returning next summer. I thought you…”

“You thought I what?”

“Sorted everything out with the guy,” Tom finished, but Jensen could tell that wasn’t what he’d started. “What happened, man?”

Jensen felt his face color. “We had a blow out last night. We were drunk, some stuff was said, and he said he didn’t wanna come back next year. I haven’t had a chance to tell Jeff and Sam yet.”

“I swear to fuck, Jensen, when are you going to grow up?” Tom growled under his breath as he popped the door and got out of the car.

Jensen frowned and followed him out. “What the hell does that mean?” he asked, honestly confused.

Tom looked at him over the top of the car and shook his head, taking a deep breath. “Nothing, man, doesn’t matter.”

Jensen studied him for a long moment, took in the hunch of his shoulders and the faraway look in his eyes as he watched Danneel’s mom help her with her bags while her dad checked to make sure his car was still in one piece. There was something he was missing, he knew it, he just didn’t know what it was.

“Are you okay?” he asked, hoping to get some sort of answer, an insight into Tom’s head. He’d never had to try to understand his friends before, and the fact that he didn’t know what was bothering Tom just by looking at him was upsetting him more than he’d like.

“I’m fine,” Tom said after a few seconds. “Just peachy.”

Silence hung between them then, and Jensen hated the uncomfortable feeling. He wasn’t used to feeling awkward around his friends.

“Look, Jensen, I’ll call you later, okay?” Tom said before he could ask anything. “Better yet, I’ll stop by before I head up to my girl’s house. Take it easy. Tell Mack I’ll call her.”

Jensen could only watch as Tom pulled his bags from Jensen’s trunk and walked away up the front path, kissed his momma hello as she helped him bring his bags inside and closed the door behind them.

Heaving a deep sigh, knowing, again, that he was more than likely the one to blame for the weird situation, Jensen climbed back behind the wheel and started driving in the direction of his house two blocks away.

Mackenzie was sitting in the rocking chair on the front porch, reading, when he pulled into the driveway. He had a brief moment of amazement that his soon to be nineteen-year-old sister was reading Twilight, of all things.

“Hey, dork,” she greeted, not looking up from her book as she turned the page.

“Twilight? Really? What are you? Twelve?”

“It’s a bet,” Mack said, still not looking away. “Me and Meg are trying to see if we can finish the whole saga before we start back.”

“Interesting.”

She shrugged. “Beats sitting around watching TV all day.”

“I really doubt that.” He reached into the front pocket of one of his bags and pulled out a bracelet made of braided leather, inter-woven with silver beads. He threw it at his sister.

“Pretty,” she said, smiling up at him. “You make this?”

He shrugged. “Yeah, Lauren showed me how.”

She handed the bracelet back and held out her arm, watching with an amused smirk as he leaned forward to tie it around her slim wrist.

“What?” he asked as he glanced at her.

“You meet someone at camp?”

“What? No! What…why would you even ask that?”

“You have a hickey on your collarbone.”

Jensen could feel the color flooding his face even as he ran to the mirror in the hallway, pulling open another couple of buttons on his shirt to get a clear view.

And there it was, in all its purple glory, a mark that was the exact same shape and size as Jared Padalecki’s beautiful mouth.

“Oh, fuck my life,” he sighed, banging his head against the wall.

Mackenzie’s hand came to rest between his shoulder blades. “I take it this is not the kind of person you can bring home to meet the ‘rents?”

“No,” Jensen said, a little too quickly. He sighed. “Maybe. I don’t know. Doesn’t even matter anyway, ‘cause I’m never going to see this person again, so it’s a moot point.”

“You don’t have their number?”

Jensen turned around to look at his sister. She’d said ‘their’ number, not ‘her’ number, like he would have expected. She hadn’t assumed it was a girl who’d left the mark. Jensen didn’t really know what to do with that piece of knowledge, but Mackenzie didn’t seem to think it was a big deal. “No, I didn’t…it didn’t seem important.”

Mackenzie nodded and chewed on her lip as she regarded him, as if she was trying to figure him out, or figure something out. “Do you want to see…them again?”

The small hesitation before the word ‘them’ told Jensen all he needed. Mackenzie knew. “I don’t know,” he said quietly. “I wasn’t exactly the nicest person to…them. What if they don’t want to see me?” Mackenzie knew his secret, but she hadn’t acknowledged it yet, and if she wasn’t going to, then Jensen certainly wasn’t.

She shrugged. “You have to try, Jensen. What’s going to happen in your life if you’re always too afraid to go after what you want?”

“But I don’t know what I want, Mack.”

“The first thing you need to do is get the number, and call it. One of the other guys from the camp is bound to have it.”

That was true; he could get the number from Kristin, or Misha. Hell, Tom and Danneel probably had it. There were so many easy ways for him to get Jared’s number and Jensen could be talking to him within ten minutes.

If only he could find the balls to do it.

Mackenzie sighed and stood up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “You don’t always have to be afraid, Jensen,” she whispered into his ear. “No one’s going to hate you for going after what you want.”

Jensen pulled back to stare deep into her soft green eyes, so similar to his own. The love and support for him he saw there made his heart swell.

Mackenzie smiled and walked away, leaving him to his thoughts.

“Mack,” he called.

She turned to face him and smiled. “I won’t tell anyone.”

Jensen could only nod.

“Dude!”

Jared heard him before he saw him.

Chad attacked him from behind when he was getting his bags from the truck bed and he grunted as he was slammed into the side of the truck.

“Please tell me you have not been stalking my parent’s driveway all day, waiting for me to come home?”

“Well, I’ve been stalking you’re living room for the past week, so I thought I needed change of scenery and stalk your driveway while I wait for your gigantic ass to get home.”

Jared turned to face him with a frown. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Chad shrugged. “Broke up with Sophia. There’s not much point going back two New York with only three weeks left before I have to be back for school, so I called your mom and she said I could stay here.” Chad bounced on his toes. “I’ve been staying in Jeff’s room.”

Jared blinked. “You broke up with Sophia? Dude, all of our shit is at her apartment. How are you gonna fix this?”

“Relax, it’s not like we had some huge fight and threw bottles of beer at each other. She just said there was someone else and she didn’t think it was fair to be with me if she was having feelings for this other guy. I agreed and we ended it.”

Jared shook his head. “Well, at least she ended things before she started something with this other guy, unlike some douche bags who shall remain nameless.”

“Oh, whatever. It wasn’t like I was gonna marry the girl.”

“You’re a piece of work, Chad,” Jared laughed, turning towards the house, Chad following along behind.

Chad had been his roommate their freshman year of college, and had quickly become his best friend. Yeah, the guy was a jerk who slept around and cheated on his girlfriend, but he sure made Jared look good in comparison.

“JT?”

Jared rolled his eyes at the nickname. “Yeah, mom.” He left his bags at the bottom of the stairs and made his way to the kitchen.

“Oh, you’re home,” Sherri Padalecki said, reaching up to give him a tight hug. “How was -”

“The ranch,” Jared said quickly, cutting her off. She rolled her eyes in an exaggerated gesture. “Yeah, it was good. Hard work, but good.”

Sherri looked at Chad out of the corner of her eyes before she gave Jared a disappointed look. “I’ll get you something to eat, you must be starving.” She turned and buried her head in the refrigerator, and Jared knew she was trying to hide the stress of lying to Chad. His mom was never all that great a liar.

“Dude, you are a psyche major,” Chad grunted, taking a seat at the breakfast bar. “I still don’t understand why you wanted to spend the entire summer working at a farm.”

Jared shrugged. He didn’t know what had possessed him to lie to Chad about where he was spending his summer, apart from Chad’s irrational hatred of summer camps, but it wasn’t like he could go back on it now. “It was a good experience,” he said calmly. “But enough about me. Do you know who this guy is? That Sophia left you for?”

Chad picked up an orange from the fruit bowl and started to pass it back and forth between his hands until Sherri took it away from him and set a plate of sandwiches on the bar between them.

“Thanks, mom,” Jared beamed at her.

“So glad you’re home, honey,” she said, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and hugging him from behind. “It’s not the same without you around all summer. There’s only so much Megan can do around here.”

Jared barked out a laugh. “Charming, momma, real nice.”

“If you promise not to go away again next summer, I’ll promise to be nice.”

Jared chewed on his lower lip. “I dunno. That’s sorta the question before the court right now.”

“Did something happen up there?” Chad asked around a mouthful of sandwich.

Jared shook his head. “Later, man.” He wrinkled his nose at the Twilight novel he had to push out of his way to pull the plate of sandwiches closer. Megan had weird taste in novels.

Sherri laughed. “Well, I guess that’s my cue to leave. I’ll go get started on your laundry, JT.”

“Thanks, momma.” Okay, so he hated the nickname, but no one had called him JT for three months, and he could admit, if only to himself, that he missed it.

Chad waited until Sherri closed the kitchen door behind her before he pounced.

“Dude, did you meet someone at the farm?”

“Oh, no. Tell me more about this Sophia thing and then I’ll tell you about…that.” _With some editing_ , he added to himself.

Chad shrugged. “I don’t know who he is. Some guy in one of her classes or something I guess. She was taking part in that summer acting workshop, maybe they met there.”

“And you’re really okay with this being over?” In the two plus years he’d known Chad, Sophia was the first girl Jared had known him to actually date, she wasn’t just a quick hook-up.

Chad sighed. “Okay, yes, I liked having her around. She was cool, funny, hot, awesome in bed. But, Jay, I wasn’t in love with her. She’s not off crying into her Ben and Jerry’s and I’m not planning to drink away the pain. It was good while it lasted, but now it’s over.”

“You were with her for five months. That’s a long time, man.”

“Maybe I’ll need some time to get over it,” Chad said, his eyes sparkling. “Or maybe I just need to find some willing piece of ass to help me get over it. There is really nothing to fuck around here expect you sister and her friend. And they already shot me down.”

“You are not fucking my sister!” Jared had rules about that.

Something clicked in the back of his mind when Megan’s friend was mentioned, and he remembered that Megan’s friend was actually Jensen’s sister. He groaned. Even after leaving the camp, Jensen was still always around. He shook his head and tried to get his mind back on the topic at hand. “You have to talk to Sophia, Chad. All of our stuff is at her place.”

The look in Chad’s eyes flipped from uncertainty to excitement. “Oh! I was gonna text you yesterday, but…I forgot.”

“Text me about what?”

“I found us a place to live.”

“You found us a place to live? You?” Jared stared at him, incredulously.

“Fuck you,” Chad threw.

“It’s not rat infested, is it?”

“No,” Chad flinched.

“What is it?”

“It’s not rat infested, but it is Sandy infested.”

Jared sucked in a breath.

Sandy McCoy, his ex-girlfriend, lived in an apartment building off-campus that was owned by the university, which kept the rent low. But while an apartment meant separate bedrooms and their own bathroom, it also meant a kitchen that had more to it than a microwave and a hotplate, and a washer-dryer, and apparently Sandy McCoy.

Jared groaned. “I guess I’ll have to get a job to cover the rent.”

Chad rolled his eyes. “You’re gonna be living in the same building as your ex-girlfriend, and you’re worried about rent?” he sighed. “I’m sure you’ll be okay for a while. Not all of us have a free ride and a college fund to deplete.”

Jared punched him in the shoulder. “I’d rather pay my own way than sponge of my parents if I don’t have to.”

“Whatever,” Chad dismissed. “Back to the point. Are you gonna be cool living with Sandy?”

“Chad, Sandy and I are good. It’s not like we had some huge bust up,” Jared said carefully. “We just decided we’re better off as friends. We’ll be fine. Plus, it was three months ago, and she called me on my birthday. We’re fine.”

Chad raised an eyebrow at him. “Okay, I so don’t buy that. You’re not the kind of guy to just let something like a six month relationship disappear just because you thought you’d be ‘better off as friends’.” He said, making air quotes. He pointed a finger at Jared. “We’re going to pick this up later, but right now, there are apparently more interesting things I need to hear.” He smirked at Jared. “Tell me about this chick.”

“What chick?” Jared asked, distracted as he went for another sandwich.

“The chick you met at the farm, asshole!”

“Oh,” Jared could feel the flush raising to his cheeks. “I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“No way, Jared. I spilled about Sophia, now it’s your turn.”

“We hated each other,” Jared said softly, speaking to the breakfast bar. “Like, seriously despised each other.”

“That’s the story?” he could hear the unimpressed tone in Chad’s voice.

“Well, last night, we were drunk, and we kind of admitted, maybe, that there was a reason for the hatred.” Jared chanced a look at Chad; saw the confused frown marring his features as he tried to figure out the plot of Jared’s tale. “The sex was really hot.”

Chad jumped off his stool. “You had sex with a girl you hate?!”

“Seriously, really hot!” Jared tried to explain. “Just not the nicest person. Not to me, anyway. Everyone else thought the sun shone out of h-her backside. All I saw was a ba…a bitch.”

Chad shook his head as he retook his seat. “Why would you sleep with someone you obviously don’t like?”

Jared glared at him. “I don’t like this whole role reversal, man. You’re supposed to be the one who goes around hooking up with random people while I mope around wondering if a girl likes me or not.” At least, it was usually a girl.

But it wasn’t like he was moping over his thing with Jensen, right? So they had a crush on each other, so what? Did that automatically have to mean something? People had crushes all the time.

Chad refused to back down. “Answer the question, Jared.”

“We were drunk!” Jared yelled, as if that explained everything.

“But not drunk enough to forget about it the morning after,” Chad pointed out.

Jared sighed. “I just wanted to talk, I swear. I didn’t go after h-her with the intention of doing anything. But we didn’t talk so much as yelled, and the next thing I know, one of us was on their knees.” He didn’t mention the fact that the person on their knees was him. He got up from the breakfast bar to grab a bottle of water from the fridge. “We haven’t spoken since.”

“Did you see her?”

Jared nodded. “This morning, before I left.”

“And you didn’t speak?”

“We just sorta glared at each other across the parking lot.”

“Do you wanna see her again?”

And that was the sixty-four thousand dollar question, wasn’t it? Did he want to see Jensen again? What they did in Jensen’s cabin had been incredible, and they hadn’t even gone all the way. But was it just sex Jared wanted, or was it something more? He didn’t know Jensen well enough to know if they could get along if they weren’t yelling and glaring at each other, and calling a guy up to say ‘Hey, I wanna suck your cock again’ really didn’t seem like the polite thing to do. But calling him to talk about what they did seemed even more awkward.

Jared shrugged in answer to Chad’s question. “I dunno. I mean, we spent pretty much all summer yelling at each other.”

“You banged her!”

Jared winced. _HIM!_ He wanted to scream. _I banged HIM! Jensen! HIS name is Jensen!_

“We were drunk,” he said instead. “I don’t even have a number, even if I did want to talk.” Although he knew he could get it from Kristin or Misha if he really wanted it, which would just give them both some more ammunition for their Jared/Jensen shipper war, which, he could admit now, they were one hundred percent right about.

“Jay, you never really were very good at the whole ‘one night stand’ thing, which we found out with Elisha, and you’re even worse when you actually know the girl,” Chad smiled at him sympathetically. “But, dude, I know that there’s something you’re not telling me, and that’s cool, whatever happened up there is your business, but if you can’t be honest with me, at least be honest with yourself. Do you want to see this girl again?”

“Look, Chad, I got a whole year to think about what happened last night before I decide if I wanna do anything about it.” Jared shook his head. Concentrating on using the right, or in this case, wrong, pronouns was really starting to get confusing, so Jared decided to stop using them altogether. “Right now, the only thing I want to be dealing with is getting you and Sophia talking again so that we can get our stuff and move into our apartment.”

Chad grinned and bounced in his seat. “Dude! We got our own apartment!”

Jared rolled his eyes. Sometimes, Chad had the attention span of a goldfish.


	7. Chapter 7

Jensen looked up from the screen of his cell phone when the front door to his apartment flew open. It wasn’t unusual for people in the building to just randomly walk into each other’s apartments without knocking. No one ever locked their doors, and only tenants had keys to the front door, which was always locked, meaning visitors had to be buzzed in.

But when no one crossed the threshold after the door was opened. Jensen got curious and got up off the couch to investigate.

“What’s going on?” he called out into the hallway.

Steve Carlson was leaning on the banister across from his apartment on the floor above, laughing hysterically at something below.

Jensen looked down to see Chris Kane crouched low beside the door, his hands over his head.

“I don’t hear any crashing,” Chris said, obviously speaking to Steve. “I thought he’d at least throw the toaster at me. Maybe the blender. Definitely not the coffee maker, Jensen couldn’t fucking function if he broke that.”

Jensen glowered at the top of Chris’ head, which only made Steve laugh harder, and reached into the coat closet next to the front door and pulled out a baseball bat. He slapped the bat into his palm, and had to suppress a laugh at the flinch Chris made before he sobered his face as Chris looked up at him.

“Scale of one to ten, how mad are you?”

Jensen narrowed his eyes, making Chris squirm a little, as he tried to remember what he was supposed to be mad about.

Danneel? Did Chris think he was pissed off because he’d slept with Danneel? But that was ridiculous, Chris knew that there hadn’t been anything serious between Jensen and Danneel for years, and even if he was worried, that was really no cause for Jensen to be throwing things.

And then it clicked.

Cabin three.

“Chris, you left that place trashed!” He yelled. “I don’t even want to know what you were doing in there to end up with boxers on the ceiling and the TP ticker tape parade, and, dude, what was that thing that was curled up underneath your bed?”

Chris’ forehead wrinkled in confusion for a second, before Jensen saw the proverbial light bulb illuminate. “Aw, man, they told me they let that thing go!”

“ _Thing?!_ ”

“The boys caught some sort of…rodent or something, they were calling it their mascot. I told them that they had to set it free before they left.” Chris shrugged guiltily. “I guess they forgot.”

“So that poor creature was in there, for fuck knows how long, until it died of heat stroke, dehydration or hunger. Gee, Chris, what a fucking great role model you are.”

Jensen rolled his eyes and turned away, storming back into their apartment.

“Steve,” he heard Chris almost whine at his band mate.

Steve, the official RA of the apartment building, not that he did anything that actually resembled his job, just reaped the benefits, like the loft apartment he had all to himself, chuckled drily. “No way, man, you’re on your own.” Jensen heard the heavy stomp of his boots as he walked into his apartment.

“Fucking wuss!” Chris threw, but Jensen could see the slow, deliberate measures to his movements, as if he thought Jensen might actually use the baseball bat on him. “Seriously, Jensen, it was an honest mistake.”

Jensen sighed. “Chris, how am I supposed to take charge of a bunch of random college-kids and make them understand the job that’s required of them at that camp, if I can’t even convey it to my best friend?”

Chris blinked. “Sorry man, I’m way too hung over to decipher that sentence. Never shoulda let Dani make that punch.” He shook his head. “Give it to me in laymen’s terms.”

Jensen threw up his hands. “I give up.” He fell back onto the couch and took his cell phone out of his pocket to stare at some more.

Chris pulled his bags into the apartment and threw them into his bedroom. “Man, I cannot believe I’m back at this dump. I wish I was still on the road. We had a fucking awesome time this summer; you seriously shoulda come with us, sat in with me and Steve.”

Jensen rolled his eyes. “Camp, Chris. Kinda need to actually be at camp to work there.”

“You decided on what you’re gonna do about that offer? You sounded pretty unsure when you called last week.”

Jensen shrugged. “Makes sense. I love that place, why wouldn’t I wanna stay there forever if I could?”

“You finalize everything?” Chris asked, crossing to the window.

“Not yet, gonna do that next year, before camp starts,” Jensen explained. “Jeff and Sam are gonna stay on one more year, until I’m completely done with college, then that’s it, I’m on my own.”

“You sure you can handle this? This is a big responsibility, Jensen.”

“Tom and Dani said they’ll hang around a couple more years, get it written into their contracts wherever they end up after college, and most of the other counselors have a couple more years left in them, so it’s not like I’m going to be going into this cold. I know everyone, everything. I’ll be fine.” The mention of the other counselors had him turning back to his phone, and the number he’d programmed in six days ago. He still hadn’t used it.

Chris nodded his head a little as he turned to look out the window overlooking the parking lot of their building. “Hey, are we getting new people?” Jensen could hear the frown in his voice.

“Oh, fuck, you mean you haven’t heard?” Jensen watched as Chris shook his head. If Chris didn’t know, that meant Steve didn’t know, and that was going to be an awesome conversation. “Sarah and David, man.”

Chris turned back to him. “What about them?”

“They went and got hitched!”

Chris’ eyes grew wide. “What? What the fuck, man?”

Jensen nodded. “Dropped outta school, moved out to California, away from her screaming mom.”

“What? They can’t be married and stay in school?”

Jensen shrugged. “Her mom’s not real happy, from what I heard from Katie, so they decided to cut out and forget about school. Maybe they’ll try acting out in LA.” He laughed as he got up from the couch and headed to the kitchen, looking out the window over Chris’ shoulder as he passed to see a guy climb out of the battered Ford that was parked next to Mike’s fucking awful station wagon. “Looks like a douche,” he muttered under his breath.

He continued on his way to the kitchen and missed the old red pickup that pulled into the lot and parked next to the Ford.

Chris lost interest in the new people and turned his heated glare on Jensen.

“What?” he asked nervously, swallowing a mouthful of the soda he’d gone to the kitchen to get.

“You called her yet?”

Jensen tried not to let his guilt show. “Called who?”

Chris smirked. “Mike said you’ve been staring at a number on your cell phone since you got here yesterday.”

“I’m gonna kill that fucker,” Jensen ran a hand back through his hair and glanced nervously at Chris. “How much would it take for you to let this drop?”

Chris only grinned.

Growling in frustration, Jared knocked on the door of the apartment across the hall from his and Chad’s.

His growl was cut off when a slim blonde answered the door with a smile.

He’d been expecting a petite brunette.

“Uh,” he faltered, his righteous indignation cut off at the pass by his shock. “I thought this was Sandy’s place?”

“Oh, are you Jared?” she asked. He nodded. “I’m Allie, I live upstairs.” She held out her hand and he shook it. “So, you’re looking for Sandy?”

“Uh, yeah, is she around?”

“She went to the store for some groceries. She said she would be back in a little while.” Allie grinned at him, and Jared couldn’t help but return it. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

The reason for him banging on Sandy’s door came back to him, and brought his pissy mood with it. “Yeah, do you have, like, a cattle prod, or something?” Allie blinked at him and Jared stepped back, pointing back up the hallway to the lobby of the building.

Standing just inside the front door, surrounded by boxes and suitcases, Chad leaned against the banister of the stair case, flirting unashamedly with the girl who’d introduced herself as Katie. Katie ran her hand down his chest and giggled low and sensual.

It kinda made Jared want to revisit his breakfast.

Allie shook her head. “Girl works fast. She’ll have him in bed by midnight.”

“No, she won’t,” Jared assured. “I’ve already told him no hooking up with people that live in the building!” Chad flipped him the bird and Jared rolled his eyes.

Allie laughed. “I can see he’s really listening to you.”

“When does he ever?” Jared sighed. “I was really hoping to be moved in before classes started. So, cattle prod? Maybe it’ll make him do some actually work for a change if he gets a few shocks to the ass. Failing that, at least get him to keep his dick in his pants for more than thirty minutes at a time.”

Katie laughed again and Jared turned to see Chad leading her down the hallway towards their apartment.

“No fucking way, dude,” Jared shouted.

Chad pouted. “Seriously, Jay, I’m in emotional pain here! I just saw my ex-girlfriend snuggling with some guy she met at acting class. How can he even be straight?! I need to…vent my anger.”

“Not in our fucking apartment before we’ve even moved in.”

Katie snorted and changed course, leading Chad towards her own apartment. “Not like your place is the only place we can fuck.”

“Man, I love this girl.” Chad grinned as he followed her willingly.

Allie let out a short squeak and jumped out into the hallway before Katie could close the door behind them. “Well, at least Sandy’s out. She hates hearing Katie’s sex noises.”

Jared blushed, he remembered her bitching about it. He looked back to the lobby at the piles of boxes lying around, thinking about the million he still had to unpack. “Great, looks like I’m left to do this shit by myself. I’m half tempted to just move him into the basement or something.”

Allie laughed again. “How about I call some of the boys and we can help you get the rest of your stuff in? We can leave the lovers to it.”

Jared smiled. “That would be great, thank you.”

“Okay, I’ll call upstairs and have the guys meet you out by your cars and I’ll get started on what’s been brought in so far.”

“Awesome, just dump everything in the living room for now.”

“You got it.”

Jared left her to it, throwing one last disgusted look at Katie’s door, before he returned to his truck.

He decided to make things easier on ‘the boys’ and unload the boxes from his truck bed and leave them in a pile by the front door.

He was just dropping off a box of bedding when voices in the lobby, who weren’t Chad or Allie, caught his attention.

“Son, if you don’t spill everything right now, I am going to beat the living shit right out of you,” a male voice said in a thick Southern accent. “You cannot tell me you hooked up with a counselor this summer and then leave me hanging! This is by far the most interesting thing you have ever done.”

“Okay, you do realize that I was a counselor, too, right?”

Jared felt his blood run cold. He knew that voice.

“Not in my head,” the first guy said, and Jared could hear the grin in his voice.

“You’re such a perve, Chris,” the second speaker replied, his voice gone low with embarrassment.

That voice. A guy called Chris. Jared felt his world slowly start to fall apart around him.

“Come on!” Chris seemed excited now. “You gotta give me more than that, man!”

The second guy groaned low in his throat and Jared felt all the air rush out of his lungs.

“Oh, fuck.”

“What do you want me to say, Chris? That it was the best blow job I’ve ever had? Well it was. Are you happy now?”

Chris laughed loudly. “Oh, my God, you had the best blow job of your life, up against the wall of cabin one from a chick you can’t stand?” he clapped his hands together and Jared could picture him with his head thrown back. “You’re a piece of work, Jensen.”

And there is was. Confirmation.

Jensen Ackles was standing in the lobby of his building, talking about his fumble with Jared with someone who was obviously Chris Kane, and telling him that it was the best blow job of his entire life.

Jared didn’t know if he should be pissed off or turned on.

Right at that second, he was sort of both.

“Oh, fuck you, Chris,” Jensen said, and Jared could hear the embarrassment in his voice. “Come on, I told Allie we’d help the new guy move his shit. Must be outside.”

Jared panicked. He didn’t want to see Jensen, not after what he’d just heard, and not looking like he was, dressed in torn jeans, a faded black t-shirt, flip flops and a ball cap. He looked a mess.

Looking down at the boxes he’d just unloaded, Jared set the box of bedding on top of the box containing his CD player and X-Box, and picked them both up, holding them high in front of his face. He hoped he could remember the path to the apartment enough so that he wouldn’t have to look until he was well past Jensen.

Too bad he didn’t think about Chris and Jensen on their way out to help him.

“Whoa!” Chris said as he bumped into Jared. The boxes wobbled precariously. “Easy, son.”

“Sorry.” Jared mumbled, trying to walk around.

“Here, man, let me help you,” Jensen’s voice was soft, pleasant, not at all the Jensen-voice Jared was used to hearing directed at him.

“No, man, I’m good,” Jared said, rounding out his vowels, trying to make his accent as thick as possible. He knew he couldn’t avoid Jensen forever, but a few more hours were all he needed to get himself together. “There are more boxes outside.”

“On it,” Chris said, sliding past him.

The box with the CD player slipped a little and Jared struggled to get a better grip.

“Dude, you’re gonna drop those,” Jensen said, and Jared could see the top box being lifted away.

“No-” Jared started, but it was too late.

Suddenly he was looking into emerald green eyes, eyes that were filled with shock and confusion.

“Hey, Jen.” Jared ducked his head and walked past Jensen to his apartment, his face hot.

He dropped the box onto what was to be his bed and fell rather than sat beside it.

Jensen Ackles was in his apartment building. Allie said she was going to call ‘the boys’ to help him, which obviously meant Jensen and Chris, which meant Jensen lived in a university owned apartment building, which meant he went to STU.

Jared’s thoughts drifted back to camp and the day they’d gone shopping for supplies for the barbeque.

 _“Maybe your school doesn’t do that. Where do you go?_ ” Kristin had asked.

He remembered the comical widening of her eyes when he told her he went to South Texas University, and the laughter she tried to hide.

 _“Who knows, maybe someone at your school will help you change your mind,”_ she’d said to him the morning they left.

She knew. Kristin knew that Jensen went to STU and she hadn’t said anything! _Bi-itch!_  
  
Jared pulled out his cell phone.

 _‘I am going 2 kll u. I’m gonna cut u up in2 tiny little pieces and scattr u all over the country. No1 will evr knw wot happened.’_  
  
He hit send and took a deep breath.

He sat on his bed for fifteen minutes before he felt confident enough to face Jensen.

Taking off his ball cap, he ran his fingers through his hair a couple of times before he went back into the living room.

All of their boxes were stacked in uneven piles by the couch, and Jensen was standing by the front door. Allie had apparently morphed into a guy, as there were two people he didn’t know sitting on the arms of the chair across from the couch, one of whom had to be Chris, Jared just had no idea what he looked like.

“Dude, you totally bailed on the unloading.” Jared followed the sound of Chad’s voice and found him sitting on the couch.

He laughed, a sound that seemed forced even to him. “You bailed on the unloading to go fuck that chick. Looks to me like it was a quick show. What’s the matter? Couldn’t get it up? Or are we talking about a premature issue here?”

“Fuck you, asswipe. She had no condoms and I don’t know where I packed mine. She’s gone to the store. Anyway, these guys and that chick were nice enough to help so I didn’t have to,” Chad said, nodding his head at Chris, Jensen and the new guy.

“Yeah, Allie’s mom called,” the bald guy said. “So she drafted me in. Said she and Sandy would drop by later.”

Jared nodded. He obviously wasn’t Chris, which made the shorter guy with the long brown hair Chris.

“I’m Mike Rosenbaum,” the new guy said. “These two morons are Chris and Jensen. We live upstairs. Not together, I mean, Chris and Jensen live together, but, not like that.” Mike took a deep breath. “I’m gonna shut up now.”

“I see you didn’t learn any social skills over the summer,” Chris said, giving Mike’s shoulder a shove.

“Fuck you, Chris.”

“Now, you know I don’t go in for that sorta thing, son,” Chris grinned.

Chad and Mike laughed at the joke, but Jared couldn’t find it in himself to even chuckle when he saw the deep blush flood Jensen’s face.

“I’m Chad,” Chad said when the laughter died away and it was clear Jared wasn’t going to speak up. “The totem pole over there is Jared.”

“So, you guys are moving in?” Chris asked Chad as Jared ticked his eyes to Jensen.

Jensen was chewing on his lower lip, standing next to the breakfast bar. He was staring at Jared’s copy of Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Jared had felt a need to re-read it ever since the day of his birthday, so he’d dug it out of his suitcase as soon as he could.

“Duh,” Chad snorted, and Jared watched as Chris’ eyes narrowed. He knew from stories from Tom and Danneel that Chris had a real bad temper. He wasn’t sure he wanted to get in the middle of it if he went after Chad.

“So, you know Katie?” Mike asked. “You two seemed real cozy when you came out of her apartment.”

Chad shrugged. “Nope, just met her.”

“Damn, you work fast!”

“It’s Katie,” Chris reminded. “Ain’t like it’s hard.”

“I swear,” Jared mumbled in Chad’s general direction. “If you go back to fucking everything in a skirt, I will kill you.”

“Hey,” Chad said. “Just because you left your heart on the ranch, farm-boy, does not mean you can you can bitch to me.”

Jared could feel his face heating up, but Chris jumped in before he could change the topic.

“I think we have a story here,” the older man said with a chuckle. “What happened?”

Jared glanced at Jensen out of the corner of his eye. He was watching Chad intently.

“Jay here was working at a farm over the summer,” Chad explained. “He met a girl there and he’s had his panties in a bunch about it ever since he got home.”

“Dude, shut the fuck up,” Jared hissed. “I don’t really want you spilling all my fucking problems to the new neighbors.” Especially considering one of the new neighbors was the main part of the problem.

His cell phone vibrated, and Kristin’s name flashed across the screen.

_‘Aw, ran in2 Jensen did we? Tell hm I said hi! :)’_

He rolled his eyes and put the phone back in his pocket. He’d deal with Kristin’s scheming later.

“Welcome to the building, I guess,” Mike said with a smile. “Although the guys are kinda out numbering the girls in this building.”

“Aw, there’s only one girl in this building that Jared’s worrying about,” Chad grinned.

“Dude, will you shut the fuck up,” Jared hissed. “I wasn’t really planning on telling anyone about that, ‘cause it’s not a big deal.” Chad was really insistent on sharing all of his personal business with everyone in the building. Or maybe just Jensen, because the world hated him like that.

“You dated one of our girls?” Chris said, his voice full of warning. He exchanged a glance with Mike and Jensen.

Mike shook his head. “Allie hasn’t dated since Scott.”

Chris nodded. “Katie doesn’t date. Ever.” He looked at Jensen.

“I don’t fucking know,” Jensen said with a roll of his eyes, and Jared realized that it was the first he’d spoken since the hallway. “They don’t actually belong to us, Chris, and they don’t have to tell us shit if they don’t want to. Allie only tells Mike ‘cause they live together, and Katie tells everyone everything, whether they want to hear it or not. Eliza and Sandy are their own people, not my fucking little pets who need my permission to piss!”

Jared hid a smirk behind his hand. _There’s my Jense_ n.

He blinked.

 _Wait, did I really just think of him as ‘my’ Jensen? That’s just so wrong._  
  
Chris ignored Jensen’s outburst and turned back to glare at Jared, pulling him out of his thoughts before he could think about his Freudian slip anymore. “So, Jared, Eliza or Sandy?”

Jared paused for a second, trying to remember what it was he was supposed to be answering. “Oh. Sandy.”

Jensen groaned. “Oh, fuck, you’re the dork she couldn’t stop talking about last semester.”

“Hey, can we quit the name calling?” Jared spat. “We’re not at -” he cut himself off. Jensen glared at him.

“We should go, let these guys unpack,” Jensen said quickly, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket.

Chris and Mike stood up.

“Uh, mandatory building meeting in our apartment tomorrow night,” Chris said as he made his way towards the door. “BYOB.”

Chad laughed. “What the hell? That sounds more like a party than a building meeting.”

Mike shrugged. “Technically, it is, but we have to cover our asses.”

“Steve is the most laid back RA in the history of RA’s,” Chris said when he was at the door. “He doesn’t give a shit what we do, or when we do it, but, we gotta at least pretend we’re following the rules. Hall director could stop by at anytime, so we have to look like he’s in charge.”

“Well, where is he?” Jared asked, suddenly concerned. He wasn’t surprised Chad had chosen this apartment, but he didn’t sign on to live in a party building, and if this was what this was, then he was seriously thinking of moving back to the dorms and leaving Chad’s ass hanging.

“Probably asleep,” Jensen said with a laugh, without looking up from his phone. “All Steve pretty much does is eat, sleep, play and sing. He doesn’t even go to class much.”

Jared studied Jensen’s profile. The guy was way too high strung to live anywhere he wouldn’t be able to study or read in peace, which probably meant the building wasn’t as bad as his mind was making it out to be.

Still, the biggest distraction of all was currently standing half in-half out of Jared’s new apartment, and if he couldn’t get past what was going on in his head, then he was screwed either way, and a few parties and blow outs weren’t going to make much difference.

“Well, we’ll get outta your hair,” Chris said, dragging Jensen and Mike with him as he left the apartment. “We’ll see y’all tomorrow night.”

Mike stuck his head back into the room. “One of you guys own the red pickup in the parking lot?”

“Yeah, that’s mine,” Jared answered, just as his cell vibrated in his pocket again and he pulled it out.

Mike grinned. “Sweet ride, man.”

Jared laughed as he bounced away.

He flipped open his cell phone and stared at the new text message for several seconds.

_‘Meet me in basemnt. 1 hour.’_

He didn’t recognize the number, but it was pretty obvious who the text was from, and Jared felt his heart beat just a little bit faster.

Jensen had his phone number. Jensen had just texted him, and while Jared was sure that the conclusion of the meeting would not end well, the fact was Jensen had willingly texted him.

It made hope flutter in his belly, and he tried to kill it before it got out of control.

“I’ll be back in a minute,” Jensen said as soon as he was out of earshot of Jared’s apartment.

“Where are you going?” Chris said, turning on the stairs.

Jensen looked back at Chris as he walked to the front door. “I gotta go call Mack.”

“Jensen, you just left your place yesterday!”

“And what? That means I can’t call my sister? Just go unpack your shit and leave me the fuck alone,” Jensen threw at him.

“You are so lame, man, I don’t know why I keep you around,” Chris muttered.

Mike just rolled his eyes at them and continued on up, his cell phone pressed to his ear. “Meggie!” Jensen heard him almost yell. “How’s my favorite girl?”

Jensen and Chris exchanged a look.

“What happened to Pattie?” Chris asked, his eyes following Mike up the stairs. “Did they break up?”

Jensen shook his head. “I don’t think so. He hasn’t said anything if they did.”

Chris frowned. “He’d be falling apart if they split, so who the hell is Meggie?”

Jensen growled under his breath. “Man, if he’s cheating on that girl, I’m gonna string him up by his balls.”

Chris laughed loudly. “Seriously? You, of all people, are gonna stand there and give him shit for cheating? You’ve never been faithful in your life, man!”

Jensen flipped him off and went outside, but he couldn’t really argue. Chris had a point.

He’d cheated more than once during his many flings with Danneel, and he’d slept around when he tried to date that Jessica chick a few years ago. He just didn’t have a reason to say no.

He stood on the sidewalk in front of the building and stared at the parking lot and the familiar red pickup that was now parked next to the Ford that had pulled up earlier. Jensen couldn’t help wishing he had stayed at the window long enough to see the truck pull in, maybe then he would have been a little more prepared for seeing Jared standing in the middle of the hallway, and he might have been capable of having a normal conversation instead of gawking awkwardly.

He chuckled to himself. “Yeah, Jen, ‘cause you’re usually so great at having conversations with Jared when you’re not caught off guard,” he mumbled.

He paused. He’d just referred to himself using Jared’s nickname for him. He shook his head, ignoring it for now, and called his sister.

 _“Okay, I know you’re my brother, and I love you,”_ Mackenzie said when the call was answered. _“But seriously, Jensen, you just left home yesterday, and I haven’t even finished unpacking.”_

“I...” Jensen paused. He didn’t know why he was calling; it wasn’t like she was here to help him.

_“What’s wrong?”_

“Um, you remember that person I told you about?” he said, his fingers ghosting over the spot on his collarbone where Jared’s mark had been.

_“This person you met at camp? Did you call them?”_

“They moved in.” There was silence on the other end of the line, and Jensen started to panic again. “They moved into my building. Sarah and David moved out and they moved in! With their friend. They live in my building!” His voice was growing high and tight, sure signs that he was going to hyperventilate if he didn’t calm down.

 _“Jensen,”_ Mackenzie said softly. _“If I say something, do you promise not to get pissed at me?”_

“Of course I won’t get pissed at you.”

_“Even if I’m right?”_

__“Yes, even if you’re right.” A strong feeling of unease roiled in Jensen’s belly.

_“Can we cut the bullshit and call this person a guy? It’s not like I didn’t figure it out the day you came home.”_

Jensen let’s out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding and chuckled dryly. “Okay, fine, it’s a guy.”

 _“And how do you feel about that?”_ Mackenzie asked, and Jensen wondered if she wouldn’t be better suited as a psych major, since she seemed to be channeling Dr. Phil, or Oprah.

“Didn’t you hear me? I just said he moved into my building. I’m kinda freaking out!”

 _“No, Jensen,”_ she said with a sigh. _“I meant how do you feel about the fact that he’s a guy?_ ”

“Oh,” Jensen was quiet for a second, thinking about the question. “Okay, so I’m sorta freaking out about that, too.”

_“Is this the first time you’ve been attracted to another man?”_

“Um, not technically.”

Mackenzie laughed. _“What the hell does that mean?”_

“ _I’ve had a crush on Randy Orton pretty much since his debut,”_ he said almost too softly for her to hear.

Mackenzie made an appreciative noise. _“I’m more of a Cena fan, but I can see the attraction.”_ Jensen could hear some rustling on the other end of the line and he guessed that his sister was getting comfortable. _“Okay, so, if you’ve known you’ve liked guys, for, what? Six years?”_  
  
“More or less.”

_“Then what are you so freaked out about? Is it because you’ve never done anything with a guy and you don’t know what to do?”_

Jensen frowned. “I’m starting to regret talking to you about this.” She giggled and couldn’t help smiling at the sound. “Okay, yes, that’s part of the problem.”

_“What’s the rest?”_

_“No one knows,” Jensen said softly. “I’ve never told anyone.”_ He shrugged. _“Well, you know, now. But Tom and Chris and Danneel don’t know. How can I tell them that I suddenly want to make out with the guy down stairs?”_

There was silence on the other end of the line for a few seconds before Mackenzie cleared her throat. _“Well, I know Tom pretty well, and I can tell you now that he’ll be fine with it. I don’t really know Chris and Danneel well enough to call it.”_

“Yeah, but how are they gonna react when they find out that I’ve been lying to them for the last…God knows how long? I don’t even know if Chris knows any gay people.”

 _“Jensen,”_ Mackenzie said slowly.

“What?”

 _“Are you gay?”_  
  
Jensen faltered at the question. He hadn’t really thought about it. He hadn’t dated much in college, apart from Danneel, if what they did could even be called ‘dating’. He’d fucked around more than he’d like to admit, but it had always been girls. There had never been a guy who turned his head, who made him feel anything even remotely resembling attraction.

Until he saw Jared standing in that parking lot.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “There’s never been a guy I wanted to do anything with. I’ve fucked around, yeah.” He laughed. “I’ve fucked around a lot, actually. But never with guys.”

 _“Okay, but now there’s this guy,”_ Mackenzie said. _“And you like this guy. You’ve at least made out with him, if the hickey was anything to go by, but is that all it was? Sex? Or do you want something more?”_

“I haven’t dated anyone but Danneel. I don’t date, Mack.”

 _“You haven’t dated anyone but Danneel?”_ Mackenzie asked, shock clear in her tone.

“Well, there was this chick my sophomore year, but, no. Not really.”

_“Wow, I kinda feel bad for you. A senior in college and you’ve only dated two people?”_

“Oh, what, you gonna tell me you’ve dated half the football team?” Mackenzie was silent and Jensen almost swallowed his tongue. “Mackenzie!”

 _“What?! I’m a nineteen year old college girl, isn’t that what I’m supposed to do?”_ Mackenzie asked. _“And, hey, at least I’m just dating, and I’m not sitting here telling you that I fucked half the football team.”_

“Oh. My. God. Stop talking. Right now.”

 _“From the sounds of things, you’re the one acting like a slut,”_ Mackenzie pointed out. _“And you’re not getting enough from one team, so now you’ve switched to the other.”_  
  
“It’s not like that, Mack.”

_“Whatever, Jensen, you’re the one who said you wanted to bone this guy.”_

“Mackenzie, can we please stop talking about sex? I still think of you as my little sister in pigtails, I don’t want to know that you’re having sex, or that you’ve dated more people than I have.”

Mackenzie giggled. _“You’re such a prude, Jensen.”_

“Whatever, you’re not having sex.”

There’s silence on the line again before Mackenzie took a deep breath. _“What are you going to do about this guy?”_

Jensen sighed. “I don’t know. I don’t even know if he wants anything from me, and when we were at camp, we weren’t exactly best friends before the sex thing happened. Afterwards, it was like we couldn’t even look at each other.” Or maybe it was just Jensen who was having trouble looking at Jared, but that was really because it was trying not to ask for a repeat performance.

 _“Talk to him, Jensen. Don’t hide in your room for three days avoiding him like you did with Danneel when you were kids,”_ Mackenzie scolds. _“Because, seriously Jensen, that was fucking pathetic.”_

“I’d like to say I’m over that stage, but I just spent three months avoiding him at camp, so I don’t really have a comeback for that,” Jensen said with a shrug he knew she couldn’t see.

On the other end of the line, Jensen heard a door opening and a soft female voice asking Mackenzie if she was ready to go.

 _“Can you give me, like, ten minutes?”_ Mackenzie said to the visitor to her dorm room. _“Jensen, I have to take off, I’m having lunch with Meg. And Tom, if he’s not busy, which I think is kind of a long shot, but Meg wants to ask anyway.”_  
  
“Alright, Mack. Thanks for letting me talk at you.”

 _“Anytime, big brother. Love you.”_  
  
“Love you, too,” he said, a fond smile on his face. “Hey, ask Tom to call me, okay?”

Mackenzie scoffed. _“Yeah right. It’s the first week back at school and he’s my RA this year. There is no way he’s going to have time to shower until classes start next week, never mind call you. He already caught my roommate trying to sneak beer into our dorm, but it was like, right there. The only reason he let it slide was because I told him if he didn’t I was gonna tell you about Rosie.”_ There was silence for a second, before Mackenzie exhaled sharply. _“Oh, shit.”_

Jensen grinned. “About who?”

_“Rosie.”_

“And who’s Rosie?” Jensen asked, although he’d already sort of guessed.

 _“Tom’s girlfriend, as if you didn’t know,”_ she said, her voice tight.

“You’ve met her?”

He could almost hear Mackenzie roll her eyes. _“Jensen, Tom and I have lived in the same building for the past year. I hate to break it to you, and crush all your childhood memories of making me eat worms or whatever it is you three fuckers did to me when we were kids, but he’s kinda my best friend. Of course I’ve met his girlfriend.”_ She chuckled. _“She’s kinda hard to miss.”_  
  
“What? Is she, like, a big girl or something?”

 _“NO!_ ” Mackenzie said, clearly annoyed at his question. _“She’s just…loud. And awesome, and so sweet. She and Tom are fucking adorable together. They’re so in love it makes me sick, and I love all that crap.”_  
  
“Mack, you sound like you’re waiting for him to propose or something.”

_“Jensen, I seriously thought he’d come back from the summer and tell me he’d already done the deed.”_

Jensen’s eyes grew wide as he thought about the implications of Tom getting married. “Wow, that’s…that sounds really serious.”

 _“It really kinda is.”_ He could hear the smile in her voice. _“Alright, seriously, Jensen, I gotta go. Will you call me and tell me what happens with this guy?”_  
  
“Yeah, I will, I promise.”

_“Cool, love you. Again.”_

“Love you, too. Again.”

She hung up before he could say goodbye and he stared at the screen of his phone for a few seconds before putting it back into his pocket.  
With a deep sigh, Jensen turned to sit down on the steps of the apartment block and tried to think about what he was going to say to Jared when they met in the basement.

He lied to Mackenzie; it wasn’t the guy factor he was afraid of. Sure, he knew he would be slightly freaked if there ever came a guy he would be willing to bend over for, but it was like any sex, he knew he could get past the fear when they got down to it. But if that was the only problem, Jensen knew he should be over his fear by now. He’d already had sex with Jared, or as close to sex as they could possibly get without going all the way, but as Jensen sat on the steps leading up to the building, the knowledge he’d been ignoring since the night of Jared’s birthday hit him full force.

He didn’t just want sex from Jared. If that was all it was, Jensen would be able to move on, just like he’d done with all the girls he fucked and cast aside.

No, whatever he was feeling for Jared, it went deeper than just sex. He was falling for the guy, hard. Jensen wanted an actual, honest to God relationship with the man mountain.

Jensen was fucking terrified.


	8. Chapter 8

Jared hovered in the kitchen and tried to find something to do.

He’d already washed all the silverware in the drawers, and the dishes in the cupboards, although he was sure they didn’t actually need it, he just needed something to keep his hands, and his mind, busy so that he didn’t dwell on what Jensen could possibly want to talk to him about.

Or the fact that the hour seemed to be crawling by impressively slowly.

Chad was on the couch, wrestling with the wires for the TV and DVD player, completely oblivious to Jared’s freak out next to the stove.

Not that he would know what to say to him if he did ask what was wrong with him.

“I don’t know whether the guy upstairs wants to meet me in the basement for hot gay sex, or to punch my face in,” didn’t really seem like a viable option.

Just before Jared literally tore his hair out, the hour passed, and he flew out the door without a word to Chad.

He descended the stairs to the basement slowly, his heart beating rapidly in his chest, getting faster with each step he took.

He could hear pool balls hitting one and other, and when he pushed through the door at the bottom of the stairs, Jared found Jensen playing pool.

“Hey,” he said, his voice feeling small.

Jensen looked up at him from where he was lining up a shot. “Hey, yourself,” he replied as he struck the cue ball and straightened up, watching as the six ball sunk into the corner pocket.

“Have you been down here this whole time?” Jared asked, taking a seat on the well-worn couch that sat against one wall.

Jensen shrugged as he surveyed the table. “Pretty much.”

“I would have come down sooner if I’d known you were waiting.”

“Wasn’t waiting on you,” Jensen said, potting another ball. “Just wanted to play some pool.”

Jared rolled his eyes. “Right, ‘cause I’m sure you do that all the time.”

Jensen turned to glare at him. “What the hell do you know? You don’t know anything about me.”

“And whose fault is that, Jen? I tried, all fucking summer, to get to know you, to be your friend. But you just kept pushing me away, hating on me. Like it was somehow my fault you had feelings for me.”

Jensen leant his pool cue against the wall. “I don’t have feelings for you,” he said, stepping closer.

Jared laughed loudly. “Bullshit, Jen. You have feelings for me; you proved that the night before we left camp.”

Jensen glared at him. “If my memory serves, you were the one on your knees, Jay.”

Jared snorted. “Yeah, I was on my knees, I sucked you off, I have no problem admitting that, Jen. You know why? Because I wanted to! What we did in that cabin, I wanted it, everything we did, I wanted it. And you did, too.”

Jensen blushed. “Alright, fine. Maybe, at the time, I wanted it, too. But it was camp, and summer, and I was fucking wasted. That’s all it was.”

Jared felt something in his chest break as Jensen’s words crashed into him. It hurt to be rejected by Jensen now, when they had to live in the same building for at least a year, but he covered it with a chuckle and a shrug, as though Jensen’s words had no effect.

“Hey, man, whatever you have to tell yourself to be able to sleep at night.”

Jensen shook his head. “What the hell is your problem?”

Jared jumped to his feet. “Right now, Jen, you are my problem. I have to figure out how the hell I’m going to live in this building with you, seeing you every day, without either screaming at you or…” he cut himself off with a sigh. “We’re not supposed to know each other, remember? Chad doesn’t know I was at camp, and from the looks of things, you didn’t tell Chris about me.” He smirked as he remembered the conversation he’d overheard. “Not in a male form, anyway.” He scraped his fingers back through his too-long hair and took a deep breath. “Let’s just stay out of each other’s way and pretend this whole summer never even happened.” He turned and headed for the door.

“Or what?”

Jared looked back over his shoulder. “Huh?”

Jensen was staring at the floor. “You said you didn’t know how to live here without either screaming at me or…?” he repeated Jared’s words back at him. “Or what?”

Jared took another deep breath, giving himself time to think. Too bad he couldn’t come up with a single thing to say to make this situation any better.

“Doesn’t matter, Jen. Doesn’t matter what I was gonna say, you’ve made your feelings crystal clear.”

Jensen threw up his hands. “Fuck! Why can’t you just give me a straight answer?!”

“Me?! You were the one running us both in circles all summer!”

“Because I was scared!”

The confession threw them both into silence, both of them shocked by the revelation.

Jared studied Jensen carefully. The older man looked more surprised than anything, as though he wasn’t really planning on saying anything, but he didn’t try to deny that the words were anything but the truth.

“What?” Jared asked carefully, for want of something better to say.

“I’m fucking terrified,” Jensen admitted quietly. “Jay, I don’t know what I’m doing here. I don’t know how to be this person.”

“What person, Jen?” Jared asked, taking a cautious step forward. “I’m not asking you to be anybody.”

“You’re asking me to change everything I thought I knew about myself.”

Jared shook his head. “No, Jensen, I’m not asking you to be anyone but yourself. You’re the one who’s forcing yourself to change by not going after what you really want.”

Jensen said nothing, just looked at him where he stood in the doorway of the basement, and Jared was momentarily transfixed by the intense green eyes, glistening in the dim light of the room.

Jared turned around, facing Jensen head on again. “What is it you want, Jen?” he asked, as he took a step closer to the other man. Butterflies fluttered in his stomach when Jensen mimicked the gesture, but he stayed silent, staring at Jared like he was trying to memorize him.

Jared studied the space between them, and he knew that one more step and he would be all up in Jensen’s space, one more step and he would have Jensen’s lips on his.

Jared stayed where he was.

“You have to decide,” he whispered when he realized Jensen still hadn’t answered his question, and he watched as Jensen watched his lips move as he spoke.

“What do you want?” Jensen threw his question back at him.

Jared heaved a deep sigh, and gave a tight, humorless smile. “When you’ve figured out what you want, then we can talk about what I want.”  
He turned on his heel and headed towards the door again.

But he hadn’t taken more than a step when Jensen grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around.

“What the hell are you -” his angry outburst was cut off by Jensen slamming him against the wall.

“Why the hell can’t you just answer a simple fucking question?” he yelled through gritted teeth.

“You’re the one who can’t admit his real feelings,” Jared replied.

“You still haven’t told me what you’re getting out of all of this.”

“That’s because I haven’t actually figured out what this is,” Jared said, his voice tight. “All I do know is that even after the hottest sex I’ve ever had, I still don’t like you.”

Jensen’s gaze travelled over his face again, and Jared could almost feel his skin burning with the intensity of Jensen’s eyes.

Jensen laughed, and Jared felt a tingle travel down his spine from the sound.

“I think we can both agree that we’re never going to be best friends.”

Before Jared could say or do anything, Jensen was kissing him, his lips pressed solidly against Jared’s.

Jared’s first instinct was to push Jensen away. This wasn’t camp, this was the real world.

But then Jensen’s tongue flicked out to taste his lips and Jared caved. He melted into Jensen’s embrace with a groan, his lips parting, and suddenly Jensen’s tongue was in his mouth, and Jared couldn’t even remember his own name. Never mind the reasons why he should stop.

Jared reached out and took hold of Jensen’s hips, pulling him close. Jensen growled against his mouth as his crotch brushed against Jared’s thigh, and Jared could feel the hardness in the other man’s jeans.

Jensen’s mouth moved from his lips to his jaw, down to his throat, and Jared took in much needed air, even has he rolled his hips into Jensen’s, grinding their erections together.

“Jesus, Jen,” he whispered breathlessly.

“Shut the fuck up,” Jensen grunted against his neck, and Jared thought he might have a mark to remind him of this little encounter.

“We should…oh, God!” Jared’s hands climbed up underneath Jensen’s t-shirt, feeling all that smooth skin he’d never had a chance to touch when they were in the cabin. Jensen’s mouth came back to his, cutting off his protests, his tongue swiping inside Jared’s mouth again. He tasted even better than Jared remembered.

His fingernails dug into the soft skin of Jensen’s back, his thigh grinding up into Jensen’s hard cock, and Jensen’s thigh was pressing into his own erection, and Jared wondered if he was going to come in his jeans for the first time since he was sixteen when Lacey Carter let him get to third base in the back of her daddy’s Volvo.

Suddenly, Jensen’s phone started playing a song Jared vaguely recognized.

Jensen groaned and pulled back, fishing the cell phone from his pocket, but keeping his eyes locked with Jared.

“Yeah?” he asked, his voice harsh. He sighed. “Yeah, Chris, whatever, order whatever you want. You always do anyway.”

He snapped the phone closed and stepped back, giving Jared his space again.

“We should talk,” Jared said quietly.

Jensen shook his head. “No, we really shouldn’t.”

Jared frowned. “What the hell just happened?”

“It was nothing.”

“’Nothing’? Jen, you just kissed me! That’s not ‘nothing’.”

“It was a mistake, okay? And it’ll never happen again.”

Jared took a step forward, but he froze when Jensen took an equal step back, away from him.

He glared angrily at Jensen. “You know what? Screw you, man. I’m not gonna stand here and let you treat me like something you just scraped off the bottom of your shoe. _You_ kissed _me_ , not the other way around, and if you can’t deal with that, that’s your problem, not mine. I’m done trying to play nice with you.”

He pushed past Jensen and rushed out of the basement door and up the stairs.

Chad was standing in the hallway when Jared made it up to ground level, and he had to force himself to calm down, willing his erection away, before he turned to face his friend.

“Hey, man, where’ve you been?” he asked and Jared shrugged, trying not to let his upset show.

“Nowhere. Just looking around. Did you know they have a pool table in the basement?”

Chad’s eye lit up. “Really? Awesome. I am gonna challenge every person in this building and I am so gonna kick their fucking asses!”

Jared laughed at him and headed for their apartment.

Chad stopped him with a hand on his chest.

“Listen, man, Sandy’s here. She brought groceries.”

“Oh,” Jared blinked. “Cool.”

Chad narrowed his eyes at him. “Are you sure you’re gonna be okay living here? She’s right across the hall, man.”

“Trust me, Chad, I am so over Sandy it’s not even funny.”

His eyes ticked back to the basement door as he pushed past his best friend and walked back into his apartment.

Sandy was standing in the kitchen with Katie, gossiping about the boys in the building by the sounds of things, and Jared marveled at the weirdness for a second before he brushed it off and went to greet his ex-girlfriend.

“Hey, Sand,” he said, reaching down to kiss her cheek.

“Well, look who’s back from the farm,” she said with a grin. She batted her eyelashes at him. “You know, I was starting to think that place didn’t have phones. If you hadn’t answered on your birthday, I was gonna mount a rescue mission.”

Jared blushed and stared at his flip-flops. “Didn’t think you’d really wanna talk to me, Sandy.”

She smacked him on his chest before turning back to place a covered casserole dish in the oven. “Jared, I know we split up, I was there, but that doesn’t mean we’re not friends. And friends call each other.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, kissing her again. “Next year, I will definitely call you.”

“You’re going back?” Chad asked, looking up from where he had Katie pinned to the counter. “I thought you were gonna wait and see how things went with that chick.”

Sandy’s eyes sparkled. “Chick? Did you meet someone on the farm, Jared?”

“Okay, first, it was a ranch,” he said, the lie rolling easily off his tongue after months of practice. “Second, it’s a bit weird to be talking about this with my ex.”

 _And third, there was no chick,_ he added silently to himself.

Sandy rolled her eyes. “Please, Jay, we were never gonna last, you know it and I know it. Plus, we ended on good terms, so spill.” She boosted herself up onto the counter top. “I want all the gory details.”

Jared could feel the color flooding his face. “Trust me, Sandy; you don’t want any of the details, never mind the gory ones.”

“Was it all hot and dirty?” Sandy asked.

“Sandy!” Jared exclaimed. “God, is it any wonder I dumped your ass?”

“You didn’t dump me, Jay, it was a mutual thing and you know it.”

“Yeah, well, I should have,” Jared muttered. He headed for the fridge in the kitchen, suddenly needing a drink.

Katie laughed. “Man, why did you guys break up again? You’re obviously good together.”

Jared looked back over his shoulder and watched as Sandy shrugged.

“That was actually sorta the reason,” she said simply. “We’re too similar. We think alike; have the same sense of humor. It got a little boring after a while.”

Jared found he couldn’t disagree with that.

“The sex was pretty hot, though.”

Or that.

“Anyway!” Chad said loudly. “Tell me more about this chick. Did you talk to her?”

“Yeah, she called.” Jared slammed the fridge closed. “Why isn’t there any alcohol when I need it?”

“Jay!” Sandy admonished. “It’s, like, three in the afternoon.”

“Key word being ‘afternoon’,” Jared said to her.

“Jared, are you okay?” Chad asked, concerned.

Jared blew out a breath. “No, I’m not. Not really.”

“What did this chick say to you?”

“You know what? I don’t even know. She just, like, messes with my head so much I can’t think straight."

Sandy looked at Chad. “Who is this chick and what did she do with my Jared?”

Jared shook his head. “You know what? You three gossip amongst yourselves, make sure everyone’s up to date on the ins and outs of my love life. I’m going out.”

“Jared!”

“I’m alright, Sand. I just need some air.”

He grabbed his jacket from the box by the front door and left the apartment.

The door to the basement was closed, and there was music coming from upstairs.

Jared recognized the song, it was one of Chris’ that Danneel played constantly throughout the summer, and Jared found himself unconsciously singing along with Chris’ throaty voice as he made his way to the front door.

“Hey, Newbie.”

Jared stopped dead in his tracks and gritted his teeth. “You know, I really hate that word,” he mumbled under his breath.

Turning, he looked up towards the floor above to see a man with longish blond hair peering at him over the banister.

“Name’s Jared,” Jared said, not really caring that he sounded like a whiny twelve year old.

“I’m Steve,” the guy said. “RA for the building.”

“Oh, shit,” Jared spewed. “Um, hey. Hi. How’s it going?”

Steve smiled at him. “Not too bad, kid. Got a bit of a party going on up here if you and your friend wanna join.”

Jared’s cell phone rang and he fished it out of his pocket, holding a finger up to Steve. He glanced at the screen before flipping it open. “Hey, Genevieve, can you hold on for like, one sec?” Jared put his hand over the mouth piece and returned his attention to Steve.

“Uh, thanks for the offer, man, but I need to get outta here for a while. Clear my head a little. This place…it’s a bit much to take in all at once.”

Steve nodded thoughtfully. “Listen,” he said after a few seconds spent studying Jared. “I know Jensen’s probably told you that all I do is eat, sleep and play guitar, but seriously, I had to go through, like, tests and shit to get this job. I’m pretty much always upstairs if you need to talk. Or I’m in Chris and Jensen’s. Whatever, I’m usually around somewhere.”

Jared laughed. “Dude, don’t you have classes?”

“Yeah, doesn’t mean I actually go. I don’t need no college degree anyway, not when me and Chris are gonna hit the big time in a couple months.”

Jared nodded slowly. “Right, well, thanks for the offer, man. I might take you up on that one day.” He waved his cell phone in Steve’s direction, the international sign for ‘I gotta take this call’ and turned back towards the front door.

“Hey, Genevieve, sorry about that. New RA.” He listened for a second as she spoke, the rolled his eyes towards the Heavens.  
“No, Genevieve, Misha hasn’t said anything to me about you.”

Jensen lay back on the couch, staring at the ceiling as he listened to Chris sing.

His confrontation with Jared in the basement had left him reeling, not really knowing where he stood with the other guy anymore, if he ever knew in the first place. He’d been a dick, brushing off the kiss as if it meant nothing, and he knew he upset Jared. He just didn’t know how to fix it.

Out of the corner of his eye, Jensen studied Chris and tried to determine what his reaction would be if Jensen suddenly came home one day and told him he was taking it from the new guy down-stairs.

A lot of scenarios ran through his head, mostly resulting with Chris being confused, but accepting of Jensen’s sudden lifestyle change.

A few, however, were more disturbing, including one where Chris beat Jensen to death with his own guitar, the one he had stashed at the back of his closet and only brought out when Chris forced him to, and then went to work on Jared.

Jensen wondered if he would literally go insane before he could come up with a solid answer to Jared’s question.

“Hey, what are you brooding about?” Chris asked, strumming the last few notes of ‘Track 29’.

Jensen sighed. “The undeniable turn my life has taken in the last three months.” _Or three hours._

He could almost hear Chris frown. “What the hell are you talking about? You’re life hasn’t changed jack squat since you left here in June.”

Jensen snorted and shook his head. “Never mind, I’m just being over analytical.”

“Again,” Chris smirked.

Jensen flipped him off, and then cast his eyes down to the notebook that was sitting on the table in front of Chris. The older man didn’t need notes to play ‘Track 29’; he never needed notes to play any of his songs, not after the first few times he played them through, which meant the notes he was looking at were something new.

“You write anything new over the summer?” he asked, when he became apparent that Chris was too busy reading whatever he had written to make conversation, and Jensen didn’t really want to be left alone with his thoughts anymore. He knew he would only end up thinking about Jared, and he’d only just calmed himself down.

Chris shrugged. “Few things, nothing that I’m really singing about.” He laughed at his unintentional pun. “Didn’t really have much time to sit and write until we got to LA. And then when Dani came home, and I found better things to do.” He leered at Jensen from across the room and Jensen suddenly knew what exactly Chris found to do with Danneel.

Jensen groaned. “Dude, really? Danneel?”

“Hey, come on, now. You don’t have no claim on her! You two haven’t been together for years, man.”

Jensen decided that Chris probably did not want to know that ‘years’ actually meant less than one, considering he and his Prom Queen had fucked last Christmas. Chris was playing a show out of town with Steve, and Tom was off at his girl’s place, so really, they were bored and couldn’t think of anything else to do. No one ever did accuse them of having overactive imaginations.

“So, are you two, like, dating now, or what?”

Chris shook his head. “Nah, she’s in California. What’s the point? Think she’s just replaced you as her fuck buddy. She said you turned her down at camp.”

Jensen shrugged. Yeah, Danneel had dragged him to the boathouse, looking for a quick fumble, but he couldn’t go through with it, his head was too full of Jared to think about getting with anyone else, even Dani. “I’m over Danneel, she’s just a friend, it doesn’t feel right going there anymore.” _That, and I’m possibly falling in love with someone else._ “It’s just…weird,” he said, a crooked expression on his face.

“Look, what do you care, anyway?” Chris said, setting aside his guitar. “You got this new chick to worry about.”

Jensen flopped back onto the couch. “Don’t remind me.”

“You call her?”

“Call who?” Steve asked, sauntering into their apartment.

“The new chick at the camp Jensen fucked,” Chris explained calmly.

“Jesus, Chris!” Jensen shrieked. “It wasn’t some dirty drunken fumble.” He frowned. “Okay, that’s exactly what it was, but there were, like, feelings and shit.” At least there had been on Jensen’s side. Maybe.

“Uh, huh,” Chris smiled, exchanging a look with Steve. “And did you call her?”

“Yeah, we…talked.” _Among other things._

“And…?”

“And I don’t know!” He didn’t really mean to yell, but everything was just getting a little too personal. “I really messed up, and now I don’t even know if she wants to be with me. If she ever did.”

“And what do you want?” Steve’s voice was calm, tranquil, but Jensen had known him long enough to know that he was genuine and very much interested in Jensen’s answer.

Jensen shrugged. He thought back to the basement, and having Jared pressed up against the wall. He could still taste Jared’s lips on his tongue, could still feel Jared’s hardness pressed against his thigh, and he had to force himself to calm down before he popped wood in front of his best friend and his RA.

“I don’t know what I want,” he answered honestly. “Except maybe…her.”

“So what’s the problem?” Steve asked with a frown, as if he really couldn’t understand why there would even be an issue.

Chris laughed. “Jensen dating is kind of a problem in itself. I’m not even sure if he remembers how.”

“She’s not really the kinda girl you’d expect me to be dating,” he said, ignoring Chris. _Or a girl at all,_ he added to himself.

Chris laughed. “Jensen, you’ve dated exactly two people, both of whom were completely different from each other, and you’ve fucked half the girls at STU, including Katie. I think that right there proves that you don’t have a type.”

Jensen took his hand away from his eyes to glare at Chris. “Can we please not bring the Katie thing up again? I was drunk, and she was…Katie. That’s all it was.”

“I’m just pointing out the fact,” Chris chortled. His phone beeped and he took it out of his pocket, sliding it open to read the text message.

Jensen sighed. “Look, guys, I just have some thinking to do before I decide if this is something I want, okay?” he frowned. “I guess we both do.”

Steve stayed silent, but Jensen could feel the RA’s eyes on him as he continued to stare at the ceiling. It was almost as if Steve was trying to read his mind simply by looking at him. Jensen found it disturbing.

Chris’ sudden laugh caused them both to jump.

“What the fuck, Chris?” Steve scolded.

“Looks like our boy wasn’t the only counselor to get a little action this summer.”

Jensen sat up again. “What are you talking about?”

Chris waved his cell phone in Jensen’s direction. “Misha said he got it on with some chick called Genevieve.”

Jensen felt his mouth drop open. “Misha and Genevieve? That’s just…that’s insane.”

Chris’ eyes flicked up to him. “Tell me this isn’t the chick you’re chasing? ‘Cause I’ll beat on Misha for taking your girl, no problem, but I think it might actually constitute a federal crime.”

“A federal crime?” Steve repeated, confused.

Chris shrugged. “The guy’s like…a fucking Zen master or something.”

“Relax, it’s not Genevieve. She’s sweet, but she’s…”

“Just not your type?” Steve finished.

When Jensen looked at Steve, the musician had an unreadable expression on his face that made Jensen’s stomach roll uneasily.

He shook his head. “No, I guess she isn’t.”

Steve nodded slowly, and then backed away towards the door. “Listen, I’m gonna go. I have a few things I need to do before the hall director shows up, which could be at any moment between now and when classes start, so no funny shit.”

Chris laughed again, typing a reply on his phone. He looked up at his band mate. “You’re gonna sleep, ain’t ya?”

“Like I have anything better to do,” Steve said as he turned on his heel and left. Seconds later, his footsteps echoed as he climbed the stairs to his loft.

Jensen watched as Chris finished typing and slid his phone back into the pocket of his jeans. He leveled his gaze at Jensen as he picked up his guitar again.

“What?”

Chris started playing a familiar song. Of the dozens of songs Chris and Steve had written, it was one of Jensen’s favorites.

“Sing.”

Jensen groaned. “Really?”

Chris bobbed his head in time with the beat. “Sing.”

Jensen took a deep breath and sat up straight.

_“It’s been a long time since I wore this rattlesnake smile…”_

Jared stayed gone until late into the night. The building was quiet and dark when he made his way back inside, thanking whoever was looking out for him that he’d remembered his keys.

Not that he should have worried, considering Chad was sitting on the couch nursing a beer when he let himself in.

“Hey, man,” Chad said carefully. “Where have you been?”

“Went for a walk. Got a job.”

“Yeah?”

Jared nodded. “At a coffee shop a few blocks away. Kripke’s. Just a couple hours a week, nothing major.”

“Lucky bastard.” Chad laughed. “Beer in the fridge, since you were complaining earlier there wasn’t any.”

Jared gave him a tight smile and grabbed a beer before dropping into the armchair, sighing loudly.

“Jesus Christ,” Chad said suddenly, causing Jared’s eyes to snap up to glare at him.

“What?”

“This chick is really fucking you over, isn’t she?”

Jared flinched at the word. It wasn’t Chad’s fault, he didn’t know he was wrong in assuming it was a girl, and it wasn’t like Jared had ever corrected him.

So really, if he thought about it, it was all Jared’s fault.

He picked at the label of his beer, not meeting Chad’s eyes, speaking quickly before he changed his mind.

“What if it’s not a girl?”

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Chad struggle to swallow his beer before he set the bottle on the floor, staring hard at Jared.

“Okay, is this where you tell me she wasn’t a girl, she was a woman?” Chad asked, and fuck, Jared could hear the hope in his voice.

He shook his head. “No, this is where I tell you she wasn’t a girl, she was a guy. With…guy parts.”

“So, what? You’re crushing on a dude?”

Jared gave him a wry smirk. “Pretty sure that it’s more than a crush.”

“Um, wow. Okay,” Chad said, his eyebrows knitted in a frown. “Have you always….? I mean, did you know you were into guys before this? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“No, I...it was just him, man. It’s only him.”

“And you met him at the farm?”

Jared winced at the lie. He was coming clean about one thing; maybe he should just come clean completely?

“Camp,” he said, speaking to the bottle in his hands.

“Excuse me?”

Jared cleared his throat. “I wasn’t working at a farm. I was working at a summer camp, as a counselor.”

Chad didn’t know Jensen, he couldn’t know that Jensen also worked at a camp, and it would probably take months for him to find out.

“A summer camp.” Chad’s voice was flat, unreadable. “And you chose to lie because…?”

Jared shrugged. “You hate summer camps.”

Chad shook his head. “Yeah, but I wouldn’t really care if you wanted to go to one, or work at one. It was just a bad experience I had as a kid, nothing I could hold you, or anyone else, responsible for.”

Jared made a face. “Dude, this isn’t some sort of creepy perverted counselor story, is it?”

Chad laughed. “No, I don’t need to show you on a doll where the bad man touched me, if that’s what you’re getting at. It was just, I was a kid, I was really fucking far from home, and the other boys in my cabin where assholes. Wasn’t my best summer vacation ever.”

“Oh,” Jared said quietly. “Sorry I didn’t tell you.”

Chad ignored the apology. “Okay, so you met this guy at camp, he was a counselor, too?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s so special about him?” Chad asked. “I mean, if he’s making you wanna switch teams, he’s got to be something amazing.”

Jared laughed. “He’s a dick.”

“Huh?”

“He’s a dick,” Jared repeated. “He’s done nothing from day one but yell at me and piss me off. I don’t know how many times I just wanted to haul back and punch him square on his fucking jaw. Might have done it more than once if Misha or Kristin hadn’t been there to remind me that it probably wasn’t such a good idea to knock out the boss.”

Chad sputtered a little. “Your…the boss? You not only fell for a guy over the summer, but he was also your boss? Man, no wonder you’re so messed up right now.”

“He’ll be the boss next year, yeah. And I told him I wasn’t coming back; doubt he’d want me back.”

“If you hate him so much, why are you pining away like a love sick teenage girl?”

Jared shrugged. “I really wish I could answer that question, man. There’s just…something about him that just clicks, or something. He pushes my buttons, winds me up like no one can, and he can piss me off just by breathing wrong, but even after all the shit we went through, never having a civilized conversation, I can still tell we’d work. We could be friends if it wasn’t for the fact that we want to rip each other’s clothes off every time we lay eyes on each other. Which is the reason we hate each other. Fucking catch twenty-two, man,” Jared sighed. “We can’t be friends because we want each other, but we only want each other ‘cause we never got a chance to be friends.”

Chad studied him for a second. “This guy know how you feel? Is this why you’re moping so much, he doesn’t feel that way about you?”

“The blow job our last night there would prove that, yes, he knows, and yeah, I’m pretty sure he feels the same way.”

Chad made a face. “Blow job? You didn’t…you weren’t the one…” he cut himself off and held up his hands. “You know what? Don’t answer that.” He shook head a little, as if he was trying to clear away the mental image of Jared sucking some guy’s dick. “Okay, so you like him, and we’re assuming he likes you, so what’s the problem? Does he live, like, miles away?”

Jared’s eyes ticked up towards the ceiling for a fraction of a second. “No, he’s here. At STU. We didn’t know at the time, we just found out today.”

“So, if distance isn’t the problem, then what is?”

“I think he’s scared. Of what he’s friends will think.”

“So he’s not out either?”

Jared shook his head and looked at Chad from under his lashes. “By the way, why aren’t you freaking out over this? I just told you that I’m quite possibly gay and in love with another guy. I was seriously expecting you to run out and move in with Katie.”

Chad snorted. “What? Like the fact that you like dick changes who you are? You’re still Jared, man, still my boy, my best friend. Just because you wanna go out and get yourself a boyfriend doesn’t change the fact that you’re still the guy who moved out with me when I got kicked out for streaking..”

Jared smiled, a blush creeping up his neck. “Thanks, man. Wish you could go tell him that, prove that maybe his friends aren’t gonna disown him.”

Chad shrugged and settled back in the couch. “Just point me in the right direction, Jay.” He picked up the remote and flipped through the channels until he landed on a re-run of Firefly. “And while I’m at it, I’ll kick his ass for turning you into a whiny little girl.”


	9. Chapter 9

Jensen growled at his alarm clock when it started buzzing. It was seven thirty in the morning, and classes didn’t start for another week, so why was the alarm making that god awful noise?

“JENSEN!” Chris’ voice screamed through the wall. “For fuck’s sake turn that fucking thing off! Some of us are trying to fucking sleep!”

Jensen reached out and switched off the buzzing, staring at the glowing red numbers before he sat up on the edge of his bed and tried to remember where he was supposed to be going this early in the morning.

His greasy, stained coveralls lying across his desk chair reminded him.

“Shit, work,” he grumbled as he stood up and grabbed a pair of clean boxer briefs from the drawer, making his way to the bathroom.

He stared dejectedly at the shower as he brushed his teeth, but ultimately decided against it. He was going to be sweaty and covered in engine grease when he got home, so he’d have to shower again anyway, and he kind of resented having to take two showers.

Instead, he washed in the sink with a wash cloth and applied almost a whole can of deodorant before he went back to his room and pulled on the old, torn jeans he wore to work, pulling the coveralls on over them. He threw on an old white wife-beater and his biker boots and considered himself ready to go.

In the kitchen, he made himself the strongest cup of coffee he could manage to stomach and downed it in silence.

He hated being up so early. Everyone else in the building would still be sleeping, dreaming about lollipops and candy canes or whatever shit their minds provided, and it left the whole apartment block feeling eerie and empty, leaving Jensen feeling like he was the only person in the world.

He couldn’t wait until classes started and he didn’t have to open up the garage, and he could go back to his normal afternoon shifts, or whenever he had a couple hours free. Jim was good like that. He would just let Jensen drop by whenever he wasn’t busy and told him to fill in the calendar so that Jim would know what to pay him at the end of each month. But until classes did start, Jim took the opportunity to sleep in and made his underpaid mechanic open the garage and deal with all the customers until he decided to roll in around noon. It had been the same thing for three years now, and Jensen really didn’t see it changing any time soon.

He loved working at the garage, almost as much as he loved being at camp, and Jim was a great boss, but sometimes Jensen wondered if he should stop being such a pushover and tell Jim to do some of the goddamn work himself.

For now, though, he grabbed his car keys and quietly opened the front door and stepped out into the unnaturally quiet hallway. Really, he lived with Mike; no way should the building ever be that silent.

Except, it wasn’t silent. Someone was singing, loud and off-key, down in the lobby, and Jensen stopped halfway down the stairs to look over the banister to see who was disturbing the peace.

He kind of wished he hadn’t.

Jared was standing in the middle of the lobby, ear-buds from his iPod stuck firmly in his ears, stretching out after what Jensen could only guess was an impressive run. His t-shirt was tucked into the back of the waist band of his shorts and his well-defined chest was glistening with sweat.

Jensen had to grip the hand rail tightly to stop himself from vaulting down to Jared’s level so that he could lick the fine trail of hair that was disappearing into Jared’s shorts.

As Jared finished his stretches and disappeared out of view, Jensen turned on his heel and headed back to his own apartment.

Maybe he’d have that shower after all.

It was almost seven o’clock when Jared made it back home after his first shift at Kripke’s, the coffee shop close to campus where a lot of the students hung out between classes. Out walking off his anger from his confrontation with Jensen, he’d spotted the sign in the window and interviewed then and there, in his ratty jeans and flip-flops. He kinda thought Eric, the owner, was maybe a little touched in the head, seeing as how he gave Jared the job on the spot. Not that he was complaining, he could take what he could get, anything to stop him spending anymore time in a building with Jensen than he had to.

He tossed his backpack up the hallway to land at an awkward angle outside the door of his apartment before he took the stairs two at a time up to the next floor.

He never made it up to the second floor the previous day, didn’t see anything but the ground floor and the basement, but the open door and the music and the loud voices let him know which apartment he was looking for.

There are more people in the apartment then he realized he’d been expecting when he stepped into Jensen and Chris’ home. He spotted Chris and Steve on the couch, and Mike was standing in the kitchen with Chad, but everyone else, at least seven other people, were all complete strangers to him.

“Hey, man!” Mike yelled, spotting him first, and he remembered the reason he’d come up before going to his own apartment.

Jared hoisted the case of beer a little higher and made his way past a girl dancing by herself near the door until he could dump it on the counter next to the sink.

“How was the first day?” Chad asked, opening the case and dropping the bottles of beer into the sink that was already filled with ice.

Jared shrugged and grabbed a Coke. “It was cool, I guess. Little more work than I thought. Didn’t realize how many different kinds of coffee there were.”

Mike snorted. “You should talk to Jensen, he’s like some kinda coffee connoisseur or something.”

Jared popped the tab off his Coke and turned his back to take a sip, hiding the roll of his eyes at the same time.

“You think you’re gonna like it, though?” Chad asked.

“Yeah, I think so. Eric is cool, and the place is pretty awesome, somewhere I’d hang out if I didn’t work there. Plus, Eric said it’s somewhere a lot of the college kids hang out, so it’s not like I’ll be stuck serving little old ladies their Earl Grey.” Jared laughed.

“Sounds good, Jay,” Chad said, voice full of sincerity, but Jared could see the annoyance in his eyes as he looked away.

“What?” he asked with an irritated sigh.

“I’m pissed that you managed to get a job after one day of living here. That college fund of yours is just going to sit in your bank account and gather dust, man.”

“It’s not like I need it, Chad. I’ve got my scholarship, and now a job to pay the rent, why use it if I don’t need it?” Really, Jared had covered his reasons behind not wanting to spend his parents’ money if he didn’t have to, and he was getting a little tired of having to repeat his argument over and over again. “Maybe I can give it to Megan and she can use it over at UTD.”

“Megan?” Mike asked, and when Jared looked at him, he had a small frown marring his features.

“My sister,” Jared said with a nod. “She’s a sophomore at UT Dallas.” He watched as a blush colored Mike’s face.

“Please don’t tell me your name is Padalecki?”

“Uh, yeah. Why?”

Mike chuckled nervously. “Megan is my girlfriend’s best friend.”

Jared frowned. “God, is everyone best friends with Megan?”

Mike shrugged. “Excuse me, I gotta go call Pattie.”

Laughter erupted over the sound of the music, and Jared turned to see Chris and Steve pointing at Mike and Chris handing over what looked to be ten dollars to the RA.

“Man, this is the last time I give you the benefit of the doubt!” Chris called to Mike. “I thought you’d at least make it another hour before you called her again.”

Mike flipped him off. “I’m in love, shut the fuck up.”

Jared watched as Mike left the apartment, a confused frown marring his features. There was something he was missing; he just couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Megan never mentioned anyone named Pattie.

“I’m gonna go take a shower,” he said, taking another sip. “‘Cause seriously, I stink.”

Chad wrinkled his nose. “Dude, I didn’t wanna say anything, but now that you’ve pointed it out, yeah, you really do.”

Jared gave him a shove before he handed his friend his still half-full can of Coke. He waved his goodbyes to the rest of the gathering, promising to return later, and then he was out the door.

Mike was standing in the landing, yelling into his cell phone. “Yes, I’m fucking sure!” he yelled into the phone. “I don’t know what he’s doing, I introduced them to each other, and neither of them said anything, so there’s something going on, babe.” He spotted Jared and his eyes widen a little. “Hey, man.”

Jared chuckled. “Dude, you make Chad look sane.” He paused, something clicking in the back of his mind. Turning, he climbed the stairs back to the landing and snatched the phone out of Mike's hand.

 _"Mike?"_ the familiar voice on the other end of the line asked.

Jared laughed loudly. "Fucking busted, dude."

There was silence before the caller sighed loudly. _"Shit."_

Jared looked back at Mike. "Don't worry, you're secret's safe with me." He tossed the phone back and continued down to his own apartment.

He was so busy laughing at Mike that he didn’t see the other person climbing the stairs until it was too late and they crashed into each other on the third step from the bottom.

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry,” Jared muttered, taking a step back up the stairs. His eyes lock on the person he bumped into, and he could’t help staring. “Oh, hi.”

“You smell like coffee,” Jensen said, his voice small, almost a whisper.

“And you look…” Jared trailed off as he stared at Jensen, the white wife-beater that had seen better days straining across his chest and the dirty, oil-stained coveralls. He was covered in oil and engine grease, and Jared had to clench his hands into fists, his fingernails biting into his palms, to stop himself from reaching out and wiping away the black smudge underneath his chin. “I didn’t know you were a mechanic.” It was a lame thing to say and he knew it, but Jared really couldn’t think of anything else.

Jensen cleared his throat. “Um, yeah. For a while now. I didn’t know you worked in a coffee shop.”

“First day today.”

“Oh. Nice.”

Jared laughed. “Dude, we have really weird kinks,” he said, his voice pitched low. Mike was still on the landing.

Jensen’s face closed down, and Jared knew he’d said the wrong thing.

“I don’t have any kind of kink, man,” he said angrily.

Jared shrugged one shoulder. “Whatever you say, Jen, but Mike already spilled your weird coffee habit.” So those hadn’t been Mike’s exact words, but Jensen didn’t know that. “Guess that makes me even more irresistible.”

He pushed past Jensen before the other guy could think of a comeback and instead, Jared could feel Jensen’s eyes on him as he made his way to his own apartment, picking up his backpack on the way past.

He stripped off in his bedroom, dumping his clothes in the hamper that still had DVD’s in it from when he and Chad had used it as a make-shift moving box.

In the bathroom, Jared turned the water as cold as he could stand it and stood under the spray, but the icy water did nothing to his erection that had popped as soon as he saw Jensen looking like _that_.

Groaning in defeat, Jared turned the water hotter, than reached down and wrapped his hand around his aching cock.

Jensen stared at the ceiling as he listened to the noise of the party happening just outside his bedroom door. He could hear Mike’s booming laugh, and Allie’s playful giggles. Katie was flirting with someone, and he wondered briefly if she brought someone to the party, or if one of their building mates would be added next to his name, and Chad’s, on Katie’s long list of conquests.

Still, he couldn’t bring himself to leave the room and join the fun, not after what he’d done in the shower with Jared’s name on his lips.

He was pretty certain that no one overhead his impromptu masturbation session, music and voices too loud, otherwise Chris would have been giving him shit already, but the shame of jacking off to the image of Jared in his head was more than enough to cause him some embarrassment.

With his voice floating through the walls, Jensen could tell that Jared had returned to the party. When he got out of the shower and went back to his room, he was never more thankful that their bathroom had two doors, one of which led straight to his bedroom. He wasn’t sure what he would have done if he had to walk through the living room in nothing but a towel with Jared watching him.

With his hands behind his head, Jensen tried not to think about how Jared had looked on the stairs, how he _smelled_ , how all he wanted to do was run his tongue across the long expanse of Jared’s throat. He could already feel his dick stirring in the shorts he’d pulled on as he thought about the boy from downstairs, and he tried not to think about what Jared had done as soon as he closed the door to his apartment, leaving Jensen gawking after him on the stairs.

It was the second time in one day that he had to stop himself from following Jared, from doing something he wasn’t sure he’d regret, but something he wasn’t exactly comfortable with yet.

He wasn’t sure how much longer he would be able to stop himself, before the feelings got too strong to deny anymore.

He tried again to imagine Chris’ reaction when he found out that Jensen wasn’t straight, and tried not to feel guilty for keeping it a secret.

He’d always told himself that he would come clean to his friends and family if and when he found a guy he wanted to be with.

But the guy he wanted to be with was living no more than twenty feet away and he was still lying, still hiding behind his trail of one night stands and his reputation of never settling for one girl, always wanting them all.

He knew he was being a coward, but lying in the slowly darkening room, Jensen couldn’t seem to find the courage he needed to go after the only thing in his life he had ever really wanted for himself.

The door to his room crashed open, banging the dresser behind it, and Jensen didn’t even have to look away from the spot on the ceiling to know it was Chris who had barged in.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked. His voice was warm, slightly slurred, and Jensen could tell he was well on his way to being drunk.

“Nothing,” he answered, still not looking away.

“Aw, man, tell me you’re not brooding about your girl again? This is getting pathetic, son.”

“I am not brooding,” Jensen said stubbornly, but it was a lie and both he and Chris knew it. “I’m just…thinking.”

“Well, think out here. We got a party going on and a room full of people all asking where you are.”

Jensen did look at Chris then, and he had to stop himself from asking who was looking for him. He didn’t want to get his hopes up thinking it would be Jared.

Chris stared him down until Jensen gave in, and with a deep sigh he sat up, swinging his legs off the bed and running a hand across his face.

“Come on, we’ll get you drunk and you can forget all about her,” Chris said, holding his arm out towards Jensen.

Jensen let himself be folded into Chris’ embrace and pulled back into the living room.

Every tenant from the building is squeezed into their little apartment, and even if Jensen didn’t hang out with all of them, or talk to them regularly, he knew them all well enough to hold small conversations.

Chris left him alone after a few minutes, and headed back to Steve who was holed up in the corner of the room with a cigarette that did not look like regular tobacco, and Jensen let him go, turning to the kitchen for a much needed drink.

Katie pinned him against the counter and Jensen rolled his eyes at the top she was almost falling out of.

“Jensen,” she said, her words slurring more than Chris’. “Haven’t seen you since you moved back. A girl could think you don’t care.”

“I don’t care, Katie,” he said stiffly, wanting her to leave.

She chuckled. “Aw, come on, baby, don’t you wanna have some fun?”

Jensen ignored her question. “What happened to the dumb fuck I heard you chatting up not twenty minutes ago?”

Katie shrugged. “He’s not interested. Doesn’t know a good thing when he sees it.”

“Maybe he just has good taste,” Jensen spat, trying to think who would turn down an easy fuck like Katie and why.

“He says he’s seeing somebody,” she spat, as if fidelity wasn’t a good enough reason to say no to her. “She’s way too cute and innocent for him anyway if you ask me.”

Jensen frowned. “Who says he’s seeing someone?” The only guy in their building with a steady girlfriend was Mike. But Katie knew better than to go after him anyway, even if she was drunk.

“The new guy,” she said, turning him in the direction of the couch. She made a low, guttural noise in his ear. “You would have thought that those two would have figured out by now that they’re not good together. They only had six months to figure it out.”

But Jensen wasn’t listening to her anymore. He was too busy staring at the couch, at Jared and Sandy snuggled up in the corner, her legs in his lap.

Something twisted tight in his gut as he watched them laugh and flirt, something painful and sharp.

“Did he say that?” Jensen asked her, his voice rough. “Did he say he was seeing someone?”

He saw Katie shrug out of the corner of his eye. “Yeah, he said he was…involved. Wouldn’t tell me who when I asked, but I think it’s pretty fucking obvious, don’t you?”

Jensen couldn’t find the words to answer her question.

Suddenly, Jared looked up from Sandy, as if he could feel Jensen watching him, and his hazel eyes locked onto green, and Jensen knew that everything he was feeling, every emotion that was traveling through him, was displayed on his face for everyone to see. Embarrassment warred with his jealousy and the feeling of failure and he needed to get out.

He grabbed the bottle of Johnny Walker Blue and made his way back towards his bedroom, ignoring Katie calling his name, ignoring everyone in the room, especially Jared and his perfect little girlfriend.

He closed the door behind him and collapsed on the bed, uncapping the bottle and throwing the cap across the room.

Jensen chugged back the first harsh drink, and then decided to get completely trashed.

It wasn’t like anyone would care if he stayed sober.

Jared had made his choice, and now Jensen had to live with it.

The next week was lost to Jared in a haze of moving boxes, coffee beans, class schedules and Jensen’s retreating form.

It had been pretty obvious after the building meeting party that Jensen was avoiding him. Every time Jared entered a room Jensen was in, Jensen left thirty seconds later. He’d seen nothing but Jensen’s ass for eight days. Not that he was really complaining, since it made him realize he kind of liked the view.

Jared could sort of understand why Jensen was avoiding him, even if he did find it more than a little childish, but what he couldn’t figure out was why he was avoiding Sandy.

From what he could figure out from Katie and Mike, Jensen and Sandy were good friends, had been since Sandy moved into the building at the start of her freshman year, and the fact that he was now giving her the cold shoulder was upsetting her a lot. Not that she would admit it to Jared, but they’d dated for six months, and Jared liked to think he knew her at least a little. Still, he knew she was talking to someone about it, and Jared couldn’t help but feel a little jealous that she was trusting someone else with her problems, and he had to remind himself that although he was Sandy’s friend, she had other friends she’d known longer than Jared who she would turn to first.

But, it was Jared and his friends she was currently hanging out with in the basement of the building, something he was a little proud of.

“All set for classes?” she asked from the couch. Her foot rested in Allie’s lap, Mike’s roommate painting her toenails, while Jared and Chad shot pool.

Jared shrugged as he leaned against his pool stick, watching Chad line up a shot. “I guess. Kinda bummed that this summer’s over.”

Chad potted a ball and stood up. “Wonder how hard it would be to change my major?”

Jared groaned. “Come on, Chad, seriously? It’s the start of your junior year.”

“Yeah, which means I’ve got a whole two years to work towards a new major.”

“What are you thinking of changing to?” Allie asked, capping the bottle of blue nail polish.

“English, maybe?”

Jared sniggered. “Dude, you hate reading novels, and I’m pretty sure it’s kinda necessary for an English major.”

Chad paused. “Huh.” He chewed on his lower lip for a second. “Well, what about theatre? I could do theatre, right?”

Sandy sat up a little straight. “I’m a theatre major.”

Chad bounced over to her. “Excellent. Tell me about it. What do I have to do?”

“Well, last year, we put on this play, where we all changed genders, you know? The girls played the guys roles and the guys played the girls roles.”

Jared laughed loudly at the look on Chad’s face.

“So, I’d have to wear high heels and shit? And a dress?”

Sandy shrugged.

“Maybe I’ll just stick to history.” Chad scratched at his head. “Although, I have no idea what I’m gonna do with a degree in History.”

Sandy snorted. “Like Chris and his Art History degree.”

“You could teach?” Allie suggested, and Jared laughed loudly.

He couldn’t really blame Chad for punching him in the arm. “Fucker. And what exactly are you gonna do with your degree?”

“Um, I dunno, be a psychologist, maybe? Or a therapist?” he refrained from adding the ‘duh’ to the end of his sentence.

Chad snorted. “From how Sandy tells it, you could be a sex therapist.”

Jared glared at her. “What the hell have you been telling them?”

Sandy winked at him. “Just the truth, baby.”

Jared ran across the room and tackled her on the couch, tickling her mercilessly.

“Stop! Jared, you’ll smudge my toes!” she squealed, which just made Jared tickle her harder.

Allie squawked as their exploits elbowed her in the ribs and she jumped to her feet. “Okay, I’m so not up for an orgy.”

Jared laughed as Sandy beat at him with her tiny fists, and the flash of Chad’s camera phone lit up the dark room.

He was still laughing when Sandy suddenly stilled beneath him, her eyes locked on a spot just over his shoulder.

“Hi, Jensen.”

Jared sobered immediately and turned to find Jensen standing in the doorway of the basement, glaring at each of them, his eyes locking on Jared for just a fraction of a second longer before flicking away.

“Never mind,” he mumbled under his breath. “Forget I was even here.”

“Jensen, wait!” Sandy yelled, wiggling out from underneath Jared to race after him, her toenails forgotten.

“Is that why Jensen’s been so pissed off since we moved in?” Chad asked. “He’s after Sandy?”

“Mike did say he’d met someone over the summer that he can’t stop thinking about,” Allie added.

“He’s known Sandy for years; I don’t think that’s the problem.” Jared fought to keep the blush of his face even as he connected the dots in his head. Jensen thought he was back with Sandy. He gave Chad and Allie a tight smile. “Excuse me; I think I better go do some damage control.”

When Jared climbed to the stairs to the second floor, Sandy was standing outside Jensen’s apartment, knocking on the door.

“Please, Jensen, just talk to me,” she said to the door. “I just want to know what I did wrong!”

“Uh, Sand, people don’t lock their doors in this building,” Jared pointed out. “Why are you yelling at the door?”

“He’s not speaking to me, I’m not just gonna walk right in,” Sandy said, looking at him over her shoulder. “He has to invite me in.”

Jared shook his head. Girl logic was really confusing.

“Please, Jensen,” she said again, knocking on the wood with her tiny fist.

After a few seconds of absolute silence, Sandy huffed loudly and turned on her heel. Jared was surprised when she ignored the stairs down to their floor, and instead climbed up to Steve’s loft. He could hear the door open and close behind her, and he was once again amazed by the logic.

Jared narrowed his eyes at the door in front of him, and after taking a deep breath he opened the door and let himself into Jensen’s apartment.

“Okay,” he said loudly. “Is this why you’ve been avoiding me for a week? You’re jealous ‘cause you think I’m back with Sandy?”

Jensen looked up at him from where he was sitting on the coffee table with his head in his hands.

“I’m just trying to give you some space, man, let you work out whatever you and Sandy have together.”

“What makes you think you need to give me any space?” Jared asked. “I think it’s really conceited that you think I can’t stop thinking about you or something, and you need to give me ‘space’,” he said with air quotes. He didn’t point out that it was true; he hadn’t stopped thinking about Jensen, but that wasn’t like he wanted to admit it.

Jensen blushed and looked away from Jared’s eyes. “Oh, I didn’t…I mean I…” he trailed off, his embarrassment giving way to anger. “Look, fuck you, okay? I’m just trying to do what I think is best for both of us. Whatever this is between us, it can’t be anything, so if we just stay out of each other’s way, everything will go back to being as normal as possible.”

“And Sandy?” Jared asked. “Are you just gonna keep avoiding her, too?”

“Sandy doesn’t have anything to do with this,” Jensen said forcefully. “I’m just giving you guys time to work it out.”

“Sandy and I don’t have anything to work out!” Jared yelled loudly. “We’re not back together, and I don’t know who told you that we were, but it’s a load of bull. But now Chad and Allie think that you’re in love with Sandy and that’s why you’ve been acting like such a bastard for the past week.” He snorted a laugh. “They don’t know that that’s just who you are. I still don’t understand how you have _any_ friends.”

“You’re not back with Sandy?” Jensen asked slowly, his face red. He was staring at the floor between his feet, not looking at Jared.

“No.” Jared deflated, all the fight going out of him.

“But Katie said…I know she tried to get in your pants, and she said you told her that…” Jensen stopped himself, like if he said the words, acknowledged them, he’d have to act on them.

Jared nodded slowly. “I told her I was involved, yeah.”

“But not with Sandy.” Jensen’s voice was small, and Jared had to strain to hear him from where he stood across the room.

“No, not with Sandy.”

“But I saw you, cuddled up on the couch.”

Jared’s mind flashed back to the night of the building party, when he’d seen Katie and Jensen flirting in the kitchen while he’d been sitting on the couch with Sandy’s legs in his lap.

“There weren’t a lot of seats; I couldn’t let her sit on the floor.”

“This can’t be anything,” Jensen said suddenly, looking up. “It can’t.”

“Why? Seriously, Jen, I honestly don’t know why you have such a problem with this.”

“Just…because!” Jensen said loudly.

Jared rolled his eyes. “Oh, well, okay then, as long as you have a good reason.”

The front door opened, cutting off Jensen’s reply, and Jared looked over his shoulder to see Chris staring at them.

“Everything okay in here?” he asked, his eyes staying with Jensen.

Jared glared at Jensen, silently pleading. But Jensen stayed silent, and Jared shook his head sadly.

“Yeah, everything’s great. I was just leaving.”

He turned and left through the open door, taking the stairs two at a time in his hurry to escape.

He could still hear Allie and Chad in the basement, but he avoided them and headed back to his own apartment.

The door to Katie and Sandy’s apartment across the hall was open and Jared could see Katie inside, dancing to something he didn’t recognize.

It would be so easy; to give Jensen something he could really be jealous of. Katie had made it clear at the building party that she wanted Jared, and Jared realized he had no ties to anyone. What he’d told Katie, about being involved, Jensen just proved wasn’t true, so he had no reason to say no.

Except that he wasn’t attracted to Katie, and as he watched her dance, he realized he never could be.

His heart belonged to someone else, someone who didn’t want it, but until he could deal with his feelings, he knew he couldn’t be into anyone else.

Katie chose that moment to spin around, spotting Jared standing in her doorway.

She smirked at him and sauntered closer. “See something you like?”

Jared shook his head. “No, not really.”

He cast his eyes up to the ceiling, where he knew Jensen had probably escaped to his room to avoid talking to Chris. He avoided talking to everyone.

“You’re loss, bean pole,” Katie threw at him, and slammed the door in his face.

Jared laughed and went back to his own apartment.


	10. Chapter 10

Jensen was tired and sore when he pushed into the building well after nine. He got so lost working on a sweet ’67 Chevy Impala that was brought with a bad carburetor that he completely forgot all sense of time and had worked way past the hours he’d scheduled for himself. He glared at Jim when he found him sitting at his desk with his feet propped up, but the older man had just shrugged and said that if Jensen wanted to work late, he wasn’t gonna stop him.

When Jensen finally left the garage, three hours later than he planned, and drove home, all he really wanted was a shower, a beer and the left over Chinese he’d hidden from Chris.

So of course that was when he found Steve sitting on his couch, nursing what he hoped wasn’t the last bottle of beer.

Jensen groaned and threw his jacket in the direction of the breakfast bar, not really caring that it fell in a heap before it reached its intended target.

“What the hell do you want?” He wasn’t under any illusions. Chris was out with his cousin, who was only in town for one night, so that meant the RA was sitting in Jensen’s living room waiting for Jensen.

Steve took a sip of his beer. “Heard you spoke to Sandy.”

Jensen blinked. That really wasn’t what he’d been expecting.

After finding out that Jared and Sandy weren’t back together, and realizing he’d been acting like a dick towards one of his best friends, it had still taken Jensen almost a week to work up the courage to apologize to Sandy for the way he’d been treating her. By trying to give her and Jared space to work on their relationship, the only thing he’d managed to do was hurt Sandy’s feelings, leaving Jensen feeling like a complete heel.

The apologizing portion of his talk with her had gone fine, but when Sandy pushed for an explanation for Jensen’s behavior, he’d clammed up, falling back on his old excuse of meeting a girl over the summer, and citing jealously over the way Jared acted around Sandy when he couldn’t have something like that with the girl he was falling for.

Looking back now, he could see that he didn’t really lie, so much as change the pronouns. He was getting really fucking sick of doing that.  
Still, all that drama with Sandy was over, and had nothing to do with Steve, so Jensen was still in the dark as to why he was there.

“What’s it to you if I did?”

“Because every day for the last two weeks I’ve had her all up in my space, complaining about you, about how you’re ignoring her, pretending like she didn’t exist or something.”

Jensen frowned. “You? Why was she talking to you about it?” Really, Steve was a great guy, but he wasn’t the first person Jensen would turn to when he needed to have a deep and meaningful.

“I’m the fucking RA of the building, Jensen, it’s what you assholes are supposed to do.”

Jensen laughed loudly as he fell into an armchair. “Oh, Jesus, Steve, you mean you’re actually doing your job for once?” He couldn’t actually remember the last time Steve had taken his job seriously. Probably sometime after Katie and Sandy had moved in and he realized that no one really cared if he slept all day or played music all night. He figured as long as no one ratted him out to the Hall Director, he’d reap the benefits and leave everyone to their own devices.

“I did have to get training and shit for this job, you know,” Steve said indignantly. “They don’t just hand it out to anyone.”

“I know, man, I know,” Jensen said, his laughter dying away. “I’m sorry; it’s just a bit weird. I’m having this mental image of you sitting with a guitar and singing your advice to her, or whatever.”

Steve leveled his cold gaze on him and Jensen’s amusement evaporated. “If it helps, I could go get my guitar and we could do that for your one on one.”

“My one on what?” Jensen asked with a shaking voice.

“Listen, you shit-head, I just spent hours, _days_ , listening to Sandy whine about how she couldn’t understand why you were avoiding her, and I had to keep my fucking mouth shut and tell her I didn’t know anything, so you fucking owe me, Jensen.” Steve glared at him. “I know you’re dealing with a lot right now, and if you can’t go to Chris with this, then you’re going to have to talk to me.”

“Talk about what?” Jensen decided ignorance was definitely the best way to play it.

Steve smirked. “About you and Jared.”

Jensen felt all the color drain from his face. His hand was shaking as he reached up to wipe away the sweat that had suddenly formed on his upper lip. “Me and…” he couldn’t even get the words out, he was so pathetic. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Steve.”

“Jensen, cut the bullshit. I figured it out the day he moved in. Just be thankful no one else has my powerful skills of deduction and they’re still in the dark.”

Jensen swallowed hard. “What do you know?” He wasn’t admitting anything until he knew the full extent of Steve’s knowledge of the situation.

Steve shrugged. “Not much, I’ll grant you, but I know there’s something going on. You two know each other, you met long before he moved in here, but for some reason, you’re trying to hide that fact.”

Jensen shook his head. “No, we don’t. I’ve never met him.” His voice shook, and he knew Steve could see right through the lie, like it was made of glass.

“Seriously, Jensen, you’re not as subtle as you think you’re being.”

Jensen took a deep breath. Apparently, ignorance and denial were not his friends. “How’d you figure it out? It’s not like we’ve been having whispered conversations in the corner of the room.”

Steve snorted. “When are you two ever in the same room long enough to have a conversation? Whispering or otherwise.” He shifted forward in his seat, setting his still half-full beer bottle on the coffee table. “It was little things, actually, that clued me in. I caught him singing ‘Track 29’, a song that hasn’t been released yet, only the people in this building, and Tom and Danneel have heard it. Heard him on the phone talking to a girl called Genevieve, about a guy called Misha, friends of _yours_ that you met at camp. Then there’s the fact that every time Chris or Mike mentions this girl you met at camp, you blush like an idiot and change the subject.”

Jensen nodded his head slowly. There was no use in denying anymore. Circumstantial evidence had him nailed.

“So, I’m guessing he was a new counselor this year?” Steve guessed. “Chris doesn’t seem to know him, and Chris can’t lie for shit.”

“New counselor,” Jensen acknowledged simply.

“Gonna need more than that, buddy,” Steve said, his voice suddenly warm, pleasant even. “Why are you two pretending like you’ve never met? Has this got something to do with the Sandy thing?”

Jensen stood up to pace the room. If he was going to do this, and by the look in Steve’s eye, he had no choice but to come clean, he couldn’t spill everything while Steve watched him like a bad horror movie.

“I thought they were back together,” he mumbled to the floor, but he could see the line of confusing marring Steve’s brow, so he knew he’d heard. “Jared and Sandy, I thought they’d made up, or whatever. Sandy never pissed me off, or did anything to make me hate her; I was just giving her and Jared some space to work through whatever issues they might have had. I didn’t realize she’d take it like that, but I couldn’t really deal with watching them walk around like some fucking golden couple without wanting to tear my heart out, and they shouldn’t have to deal with my moody ass everywhere they went.”

“Okay,” Steve said slowly, drawing out the vowels. “And why would you care about whether or not Sandy and Jared were working things out or not?”

“It doesn’t matter; they’re not back together, so it’s all moot point anyway. I’ve apologized to Sandy, so we’re all good.”

“No, we are not all good. You still haven’t answered my question.”

Jensen should have known he would never get away with skirting the real issue like that.

“Why do you care about Sandy being with Jared?” Jensen didn’t answer, just continued to pace the room as he chewed on his thumb nail.

But apparently, he didn’t need to answer, his silence was answer enough and he could see the realization dawn across Steve’s face.

“Oh, shit. You don’t care about Sandy dating Jared. You care about Jared dating Sandy.”

“Fuck.” Jensen scraped his fingers back through his hair, reached the window and turned back to pace the other way.

“You’re in love with Jared,” Steve said in an astonished whisper.

His words crashed into Jensen and he ground to a halt in the middle of the room, hitting his knee off the corner of the coffee table, but he didn’t feel the pain as the knowledge coursed through his system.

“Oh, _fuck_!”

Steve chuckled. “I’m gonna go out on a limb and say you hadn’t realized that last part.”

“I’m in love with him?” he wasn’t really expecting an answer, he just needed to get the words out there, to acknowledge them in some way before he stomped all the feelings back into whatever box in his mind they’d been hiding them in.

“Does he know how you feel?” Steve asked, but he answered his own question before Jensen could even try. “No, of course he doesn’t, ‘cause you didn’t even know.” He cleared his throat. “Does he at least know you’re into him?”

Jensen nodded. “Well, I mean I think so? Some stuff happened at camp…and in the basement. He knows I…yeah.”

Steve wrinkled his nose. “Dude, please tell me you did not have sex on that couch? Or the pool table. I thought we didn’t have to deal with that shit anymore, now that Sarah and David are gone.”

“No, no sex in the basement.”

“No sex in the basement,” Steve repeated. “That mean the sex happened at camp?” Jensen blushed and Steve laughed. “Oh, boy. Jensen Ackles is switching teams.”

“I’m not switching teams,” Jensen sneered. “I was always on both teams. Just, no one knew it.”

“Alright.” Steve sighed loudly and got to his feet, putting his hands on Jensen’s shoulders until Jensen lifted his head to look at the musician. “Tell me what the problem is? ‘Cause I’m lost.”

“I’m in love with Jared. That is now my new problem.”

“What was your problem before?”

“Well, I was sorta freaking out a little that he was a guy, but I got over that.”

Steve took a deep breath. “Okay, you’re in love with him, you know he at least likes you, why are in here talking to me and not down there making out like horny teenagers?”

Jensen frowned at him. “I’m standing here, telling you I wanna fuck the new guy, and you’re not freaking out?”

“Is that what the problem is? You think everyone’s gonna freak out?”

“Yes!” Jensen yelled. He sighed and shook his head. “I mean, yeah, I’m a little worried.”

“Your friends aren’t gonna care, Jensen.”

“You can’t know that for sure.”

Steve laughed. “I know there’s at least one person in this building who won’t judge you. I think Mike will just be happy not to be the only guy in the building who likes guys.”

“What?!” Jensen shouted. “What the hell are you talking about? Mike’s been with Pattie for years.”

Steve scratched at his neck. “Yeah, Pattie’s not a girl.”

“What? What the fuck? How do you know?”

Jensen was reeling, he’d known Mike for years, they were roommates during their freshman year. When Jensen had moved into the building with Chris, Mike had grabbed Allie, an old high school friend, and followed them. There wasn’t a part of him that Jensen didn’t know. At least that’s what he thought.

“I was outta beer one day, and I knew Mike had just gone to the store, and we never did learn to knock. When I walked into their place, he was on the couch having phone sex.” Steve blushed. “There was no way he was talking to a girl. We talked about it later, and I promised not to say anything. I’ve never met his boyfriend, but I’m guessing his name isn’t really Pattie.”

Jensen shook his head, stunned. “Why didn’t he say anything?”

Steve’s smile was almost sad. “The same reason you don’t want to say anything. He’s scared of how everyone’s going to react, maybe?”

“But he should have known I’d be okay with it.” He got it then, Steve’s point. He could accept Mike’s sexuality without question, so why did he expect his friends to be any different when he was the subject in question? He sighed. “Fuck, I’m an idiot.”

“Then go tell him. Go tell Chris and Sandy and Katie that you’re in love with the new guy.”

“It’s not that simple.” Jensen looked away again. “I don’t even know if he wants to be with me. Shouldn’t I know that, know that we’re gonna be something, before I come out to my best friends?”

“Then shouldn’t you be having this conversation with him and not me?”

Jensen snorted. “I don’t think he wants to have any conversation with me. I wasn’t exactly friendly when we met.”

“Why? Because you were crushing on him? Jensen, I’ve seen you into girls before and you never treated them the way you treat Jared.”

“Because those girls were just girls. They were just an easy fuck, like Katie. They didn’t mean anything.”

“And Jared does?”

Jensen sat down in the armchair again, his head in his hands. “Yeah, Jared means…a lot. _That’s_ the problem. Scared I’m gonna hurt him.”  
Steve made a noise low in his throat and Jensen could tell the second he got it.

“How do you know you will if you don’t try?” Steve sat on the coffee table in front of him. “Jensen, no one knows for sure what’s gonna happen when they start a relationship with someone, but if you’re too scared to start, to try, then you’re just gonna spend the rest of your life alone.” He made a face. “And then you’ll be, like, always at my place ‘cause you’re so lonely you have to annoy me. I can’t deal with that, Jensen!”

Jensen laughed. “Okay, I’ll talk to him.” Steve raised an eyebrow at him and Jensen held his hands up in defense, laughing. “I will! I swear.” He looked down at his grubby clothes and made a face. “But, I don’t have to do it now, right?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “I’ll allow you to shower first.”

“I’m gonna kill Chad,” Jared said to himself as he stood in front of the refrigerator.

The beer and pretzels he’d bought for his quiet night in were gone, probably on their way over to whatever girl Chad had found himself, hitching a ride in Chad’s backpack.

It was Friday night, and Jared was alone, again, just like he had been every other night for the past week. Chad had found himself a new fuck buddy, a new girl in his American History class, and he’d been spending most his free time getting to know every inch of her body, apparently.

He didn’t resent Chad his sex life, but he missed his best friend more than he cared to admit, and not having him around was having major effects on his social life. It left him time to brood about and contemplate things he didn’t let himself dwell on when Chad was around. Beer, pretzels and a Bourne marathon were supposed to help make his Friday night seem a little less pathetic, and now he couldn’t even get drunk.

Sighing, he pulled a Coke from the six-pack he’d bought at the market the previous day, and grabbed the carrot sticks that Sandy had bought for them.

He threw his psych textbooks onto the floor as he dropped onto the couch, just as the first movie was starting.

Jason Bourne was just demonstrating his awesome hairdressing skills when there was a knock at the door.

Frowning, Jared paused the movie, silently thanking whoever invented TiVo, and made his way across to the door.

He’d gotten used to people not knocking when they came to his place, and no one had buzzed the main door for entry, unless they’d tailgated in when someone left, so when Jared pulled open the door, he really wasn’t expecting to see Jensen standing in the hallway staring at his feet.

“Hi,” he said, a little breathlessly.

“Hey.” Jensen’s voice was quiet, nervous, and Jared could almost see him shaking.

Swallowing hard, Jared stepped aside and watched, mouth agape, as Jensen walked past him into the apartment.

They stood in the middle of the living room in silence, Jensen with his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans, staring at the floor, and Jared staring at Jensen, wondering when he was going to freak out and run away.

Someone dropped something upstairs, making them both jump, and Jensen laughed, although Jared could tell it was more out of embarrassment than amusement.

He scratched the back of his head and sighed. “Dammit, this seemed a whole lot easier when I was talking to Steve about it.”

“What? Steve?” Jared frowned. “What are you talking about?”

Still not meeting Jared’s eyes, Jensen shrugged. “Steve knows. About us.” He flinched. “I mean, about what happened between us. He cornered me earlier, and everything just sorta…spilled out.”

Jared blinked. “You told our RA about what we got up to at camp? That we’re…whatever it is we are?”

Jensen shrugged again. “Seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“And he suggested what? That you make a clean break or some shit like that?” Jared said, his voice rising. “You know, I’m the psych major, not him.” He frowned. “What is Steve even majoring in?”

“He told me to stop pretending.”

Jared froze, swallowing hard as his heart trip hammered against his chest. “Pretending? Pretending what?”

Finally, Jensen looked up at him, green eyes boring into Jared’s hazel ones. “Pretending that I don’t want you every goddamn second of every goddamn day.”

Jared’s breath caught in his throat as he watched Jensen take a step closer to him, his eyes never leaving Jared’s face.

“I’m tired of pretending I don’t like you when I could listen to you talk for hours.” Jensen took another step closer. “I’m tired of pretending that I don’t know you when I just want to be near you.” He took a final step that brought him into Jared’s space, his lips less than an inch from Jared’s. “I’m tired of fighting with you when all I want to do is kiss you.” His lips brushed Jared’s in a soft, hesitant kiss. “I’m just…tired.”

Jared’s eyes fluttered closed as Jensen’s lips pressed softly to his.

The kiss started chaste and innocent, almost hesitant, as if Jensen was asking, seeking permission.

His tongue licked at Jared’s lips, and Jared gasped, Jensen’s tongue slipping into his mouth, curling around his own.

Then the kiss turned hot, wet and dirty, all teeth and tongue, hands grabbing for purchase on each other’s bodies.

Jared growled into Jensen’s mouth, his hands on the older man’s hips, pulling him in close at the same time as he backed him against the breakfast bar. Jensen let out a strangled moan when Jared pressed a thigh between his legs, grinding up into Jensen’s hard cock.

He moved his lips down to Jensen’s throat and collar bone, sucking a bruise there even as his hands moved to curve around Jensen’s backside. Jensen’s hands were fisted in his hair, his breathing labored as he whispered into Jared’s ear.

“We gonna do it right here?” he asked in a low voice, and Jared pulled away, shocked.

“What?” he looked into Jensen’s green eyes, blown wide with lust, and now that the suggestion was out there, Jared couldn’t deny how much he wanted it.

Jensen pulled him by the hair into another hard kiss. “Bedroom,” he whispered against Jared’s lips. “Now.”

“Hell yeah,” Jared agreed.

He pulled Jensen away from the breakfast bar, ridding him of his shirt and removing his own as they stumbled along, kissing and groping the whole way, neither of them willing to give up touching or tasting, even if it meant they would get there faster.

Jared pushed Jensen down onto the bed, watching him bounce on top of the covers. He removed Jensen’s boots and socks before he crawled up his body, sucking and biting marks into his skin, pausing to tongue at his nipples, making Jensen groan and arch against him.

Jared sat back on his heels to awkwardly remove his jeans and underwear before he started working on Jensen’s, mouthing at the hot, hard line of his cock through the black boxer briefs, realizing just how much he loved having his mouth on Jensen.

Jensen was writhing and groaning beneath him, breathy little dirty words whispered into the darkness of the bedroom, only serving to turn Jared on even more.

Jared gently removed Jensen’s boxer briefs, slipping them teasingly down his thighs until Jensen could kick them the rest of the way off.

Jared felt his mouth water as he gazed at Jensen’s hard, leaking cock. He licked his lips before he pressed a teasing kiss to the swollen head, grinning like an idiot at Jensen’s muffled moan. Slowly, Jared took Jensen into his mouth, his lips stretching obscenely, he was sure. Pre-come leaked across his tongue, and Jared moan appreciatively at the taste. It had been way too long since he had Jensen in his mouth.

“Jesus Christ, Jay!” he yelled loudly when Jared’s moan sent shock waves through his body, just like at camp.

Jared grinned up at him, slowly letting Jensen’s dick fall from his mouth. “You want something, Jen?”

“You know what I want,” Jensen answered through gritted teeth.

Jared licked at his cock again. “Tell me. I want to hear you say it.”

Jensen groaned loudly, thrashing against the sheets. “Fuck me, God, Jay, please fuck me.”

“Nightstand. Top drawer,” Jared instructed. He sat back a little, watching as Jensen twisted around to open the drawer, hunting blindly until he found what he was looking for, dropping the half used tube of lube and three condoms onto the bed.

Jared quirked an eyebrow at him, as he ran his hands across the smooth plane of Jensen’s stomach. “Planning on making a night of this?”

Jensen smirked. “Depends on how good you are.”

Jared never was one to back down from a challenge. “Oh, I’m good,” he said, reaching up for a kiss.

“Oh, yeah? Prove it.”

Jared growled a little and manhandled Jensen until he was lying on his stomach.

Jared crawled over him, kissing the back of his neck, each bump of his spine, until he reached the cleft of Jensen’s ass.

Jensen was looking at him over his shoulder with a curious expression, and Jared held his gaze as he spread him wide and licked over Jensen’s hole.

“Jesus,” Jensen breathed, head falling down into the pillow.

Jared grinned, continuing to lick at the tightly furled hole, his tongue dipping inside. Blindly, he reached for the lube Jensen had left on the bed, coating his fingers thoroughly.

Jensen jumped slightly when Jared pushed his finger past the first ring of muscle, grunting at the intrusion, and Jared stilled his hand for a second, letting Jensen get used to the feeling, before sliding out and back in gently. He pulled out completely and returned with two fingers, scissoring them inside Jensen’s body, trying to stretch him as painlessly as possible.

Jared crooked his fingers and watched in fascination as Jensen bucked and cursed.

“Fuck!” he exclaimed. “Fuck, do that again.” Jared repeated the movement and Jensen bucked again, writhing against the sheets as Jared added a third finger, stretching the clenching muscle.

Jensen groaned. “I’m good. Fuck, Jay, I’m just…now, God. Please.”

Jared couldn’t even take pleasure in reducing Jensen to a babbling fool. He was too busy trying not to spill his load then and there, so turned on was he by Jensen’s broken pleas. He removed his fingers, pressing a kiss to the dip of Jensen’s spine and picked up one of the condoms, tearing the foil with his teeth, rolling the latex over his aching cock. He cursed slightly under his breath as he coated himself with lube.

“Please, Jay, God, please,” Jensen babbled beneath him.

Jared pulled him up on to his knees, bracing his hands against the wooden headboard.

“You’re gonna want to hold onto something,” he whispered into his ear, biting kisses to his jaw.

“Cocky son of a bitch,” Jensen grunted.

Jared curled one arm around Jensen’s waist as he lined himself up. He pushed gently past the still tight muscle, listening for any sign of discomfort from Jensen. But the other man was silent, save for his panting breath.

Jared could see the white-knuckle grip he had on the headboard, though, and he froze, bottoming out, sheathed completely inside Jensen.

Jensen was quiet for what felt like hours to Jared, and it took everything he had to remain still, when all he wanted to do was thrust into the amazing heat that was Jensen’s body.

Eventually, Jensen shifted his hips, and Jared looked at him expectantly. “Jen?”

Jensen nodded his head. “I’m good. Just…God, just move.”

Slowly, Jared pulled out, until just the head of his cock was still inside Jensen, and then thrust back in with one quick movement. Jensen grunted and cursed his name as Jared found a rhythm, reveling in the perfectness of the act, of how amazing it felt to be buried so deep within Jensen. Knowing he was the one causing the moans and grunts that escaped Jensen’s lips was almost too much for him to handle.

Jared changed the rotation of his hips, looking for that spot he hit earlier, knew the second he found it, the scream Jensen let loose echoing off the walls.

“FUCK! Jay, God, I…”

Jensen rolled his hips, meeting Jared’s thrusts with something resembling greed. He let go of the headboard, dropping to all fours on the bed, pulling Jared with him. The angle changed, became deeper somehow, and Jensen cried out as each of Jared’s thrusts hit that spot, making Jensen shake.

Jensen reached back with one hand to grab Jared by the back of the head and pulled him down into an awkward kiss.

Jared’s hand snaked down to Jensen’s leaking cock and all it took was a few quick pulls before Jensen came, spilling over Jared’s hand and the sheets beneath them, screaming Jared’s name, and fuck if that wasn’t the best sound he’d ever heard.

“Shit, Jen,” Jared murmured into his shoulder. Jensen’s body shuddered around him, gripping his cock within that tight heat, and suddenly Jared’s own orgasm hit, intense and white hot.

They collapsed on the bed in a boneless heap, Jensen wincing slightly when Jared pulled out.

He removed the condom, tied it off, before dropping it in the trashcan next to his bed. He flopped back onto the bed, one hand resting low on Jensen’s back.

“You okay?” he asked, turned to look at Jensen.

Jensen grunted, staring at Jared from where his face was pressed into the pillow. “That was…” the trailed off, apparently not knowing how to finish.

Jared nodded, agreeing. “Yeah.” He smirked over at Jensen, holding up the other two condoms. “We gonna be needing these?”

Jensen surged forward and kissed him, tongue slipping into his mouth. He pulled back, eyes glinting. “Definitely.”


	11. Chapter 11

Jensen lay with his head on Jared’s chest and watched the sun rise through the open drapes.

Jared wasn’t asleep, he’d known since it started to get light out that the other man was awake, just waiting for Jensen to freak out, now that the night was over and reality was setting in.

Jensen hated himself, because he was going to do nothing but prove Jared right. He just needed a little time, a little time to themselves, to get used to dating a guy, to dating anyone, before they told everyone, but he knew, even before he said anything, that it was a lame excuse and Jared wasn’t going to buy it.

“I should go,” he said quietly, pressing a kiss to Jared’s chest.

Jared said nothing, simply removed his arm from around Jensen’s shoulders, allowing him to get up.

“I need to get back before Chris notices I’m gone,” he explained, needing to make Jared understand.

Jensen found his underwear where it had been discarded at the end of the bed and pulled the black boxer briefs on, sitting on the edge of the bed for a second to collect himself.

“Is this how it’s gonna be?” Jared asked suddenly, startling him.

He looked over his shoulder at Jared. He was still lying on his back, staring at the ceiling with his hands crossed beneath the pillow under his head. He was biting his lower lip between his teeth, and Jensen knew he was trying to pretend the answer didn’t mean as much to him as it obviously did.

“Is this how what’s gonna be?” Jensen asked. He could guess at what Jared might mean, but he needed to be sure.

“This. Us. Are you going to come running to me every time you need a quick fuck and feel like you can lower your standards for a night and then run back to the real world before Chris or Mike finds out you’ve gone slumming with me?”

Jensen sighed and shook his head, looking away. “I don’t know.”

Jared nodded his head tersely. “Fine. I get it. I’m not good enough for you, just good enough to use to get your rocks off, and then you’ll be running off when someone better comes along, and I’ll be left hanging.” He laughed. “Hey, maybe Dani’ll have you back. Seeing as how you guys have all that history, you’ll be perfect for each other.”

“I don’t want Danneel,” Jensen said forcefully. “I want you.”

“Then fucking act like it!” Jared yelled, sitting up, looking at him for the first time. “God, Jen, do you have any idea how it feels to be me right now? To know that you’re too embarrassed of me to tell our friends that we’re…together, or whatever?”

“Jay, I’m not embarrassed of you, I could never be embarrassed of you.”

“Then go tell Chris I’m your boyfriend,” Jared pleaded. “Or get back into bed with me and be here when Chad gets home.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Yes, it is!”

Jensen pulled on his jeans, saying nothing. Behind him, Jared snorted.

“I’m done. I’m finished chasing you. Just get out, Jen.”

Jensen remained silent as he buckled his belt, looking around for his t-shirt before he remembered that Jared had stripped it off in the living room the night before.

“I’m sorry,” he said, pausing in the doorway, his boots in one hand, the other on the doorjamb.

“Get out!” was the only reply he got.

He scooped up his t-shirt from the living room floor on the way out.

Jensen paused just outside the door, collecting himself while at the same time listening to make sure no one was up and about who would spot him sneaking out of Jared’s at the ass crack of dawn.

Hearing no one, he made his way down the hallway to the lobby and ground to a halt when he spotted a guy with dark hair making out with someone on the bottom step of the stairs.

“Shit,” he cursed quietly. He couldn’t get past them without them seeing him, and it was obvious, as he stood in the lobby half naked, what he had been up to the night before.

Still, at least they hadn’t seen him leaving Jared’s apartment, which was something, he supposed.

Taking a deep breath, Jensen cleared his throat gently and waited until they turned.

The man with his back to Jensen froze, his posture stiffening. “Oh, fuck me,” he said in a harsh whisper.

Jensen didn’t really think about who the guy was making out with, assuming it was Allie or Eliza from upstairs, but when Mike’s head peered around his wide shoulders, he broke into a broad grin despite the heavy feeling in his heart.

“Hey, Jensen,” Mike said in a shaky voice, and the man cursed quietly again, laying his forehead against Mike’s shoulder. “Um, you wouldn’t mind just, like, going back to wherever it is you’ve come from for a few minutes, would you?”

“And miss the opportunity to be introduced to your boyfriend?” Jensen said, stepping forward.

Mike’s eyes widened almost comically. “You know?”

“I know you’ve been dating a guy all this time and that’s why you’ve never introduced him.”

“And I really don’t feel like doing it now,” Mike said, raking his gaze over Jensen’s less than appropriate appearance. “Especially with you looking like you just spent the night in a brothel.”

“What?!”

The unknown man spun around to gawp at Jensen, causing Mike to stumble on the stairs, catching himself on his shoulders.

Jensen dropped his boots and t-shirt in shock as he stared at the guy. “TOM?!”

“Will you keep your fucking voice down?!” Tom scolded in a harsh whisper.

Mike smacked him across the back of the head. “He wouldn’t be screaming all over the place if you weren’t such a nosy fucker.”

“Tom?” Jensen repeated, pointing at his oldest friend. “You’re Pattie?” he glared at Mike. “You’re Rosie?”

Mike frowned. “How do you know who Rosie is?”

“Mack spilled your name to Jensen on the phone a couple weeks ago. She was gushing about you,” Tom said, looking at Mike over his shoulder.

Mike pulled himself up to his full height. “Well, you know, I am pretty awesome.”

Tom smiled at him. “Yeah, you are.” He reached up to kiss him, soft and sweet.

Jensen groaned. “Oh, come on, can you not do that while I’m freaking out? How could you guys not tell me? When did this even start?”

Tom had the grace to blush. “Remember that first Thanksgiving you brought Mike home?” Jensen nodded and Tom shrugged.

“So, every time you sneak off to see your girl, that’s where you are? At UT Dallas. With Tom.” Jensen raked his fingers back through his hair. “This is unbelievable. Why didn’t either of you tell me?”

“At first, we didn’t want anyone to know,” Tom said. “It was new, something neither of had done before, we didn’t want anyone analyzing us.”

“Then, by the time we realized that it actually was something, that we were in it for the long haul, we’d been quiet for so long, we didn’t know how to tell you guys,” Mike added. He smirked. “Plus, it was fucking hilarious to sneak around, right under your noses.”

“Does anyone know?”

“Mack,” Tom said slowly. “I mean, she’s lived in my building for the past year, and we kinda have the same friends. And Mike’s kinda hard to hide,”

“HEY!” Mike exclaimed, smacking Tom across the back of the head again.

“Aw, babe, you know I love you.” Tom turned to face him again.

Jensen held up his hands. “Alright, no. No more making out until I wrap my head around this.”

“Speaking of making out,” Tom said, his eyes studying the marks on Jensen’s chest and stomach. “If Jared didn’t make those hickeys, I’m gonna smack you so hard you’ll see stars.”

Jensen felt the blush creep up his chest. “Jared? Why would you think Jared…how do you even know he’s here?”

Tom shrugged. “Mike found out Meg was his sister. There aren’t a lot of Padalecki’s at UTD; it wasn’t hard to work it out.”

“Meg? Mack’s friend Meg?”

“Also known as Megan Padalecki, one of our best friends,” Mike said with a grin.

Jensen rubbed at his eyes. “Could my life get anymore incestuous right now?”

“Never mind Mack and Meg,” Tom said sharply. “Let’s get back to you and Jared.”

“There is no me and Jared.” Even as he said it, Jensen felt like a dick.

“Are you trying to tell me that Jared Padalecki doesn’t live down that hall and it wasn’t him you so obviously spent the night with?”

Jensen flicked his eyes from Mike to Tom even as he felt the blush creeping up his neck intensify.

Tom was laughing. Loudly.

“I fucking knew it!”

Jensen picked up his t-shirt, leaving his boots on the floor, and turn on his heel back to the apartment he’d just left, pulling on his shirt as he went.

Behind him, Tom was still laughing. “Oh, God! This is priceless!”

“Jay!” Jensen called as he pushed his way into the apartment he just left.

“I thought I told you to fuck off?” Jared shouted from the bedroom. His voice was thick, like he was holding back tears, and Jensen felt as though someone had kicked him in the ribs.

“Well, I can see all the sex has really helped fix your interactions,” Tom deadpanned.

“Who the hell is that?” Jared asked.

“We got a problem,” was the only answer Jensen gave.

Jared appeared in the door of his bedroom, pulling the draw string on a pair of sweat pants. Jensen had to forcefully tear his eyes away from the marks he’d left on Jared’s stomach.

“Well, I can see you two finally came out of the closet,” he said, his voice emotionless.

“You knew about this?” Jensen asked.

“Figured it out couple weeks ago. First day I met Tom, he said his girlfriend, Rosie, was my sister’s best friend. The night of the building party, Mike made the same claim.”

“You could have fucking told me!” Jensen yelled.

“Okay, no,” Mike said waving his arms. “We’re not here to talk about me and Tom. Why the hell are you two running around pretending you’d never met before?”

Jensen sank into a chair when Tom’s face clouded over with an angry mask of confusion.

“Are you two fucking serious? You really are pretending you don’t know each other?”

Mike rolled his eyes. “I told you that two weeks ago.” No one listened.

At least Jared had the sense to blush at that. “Um, would you believe us if we said it never came up?” he asked hopefully.

“No.” Tom shook his head. “Because I know how fucking anal Mike is, he would have made sure, if you were new, to introduce you to everyone personally, ‘cause he knows Steve won’t do it.”

“I resent that,” Mike mumbled.

Tom ignored him again. “Answer the question. Why are you acting like you didn’t just spend the whole summer dancing around each other?”

Jared pointed at Jensen. “Ask this stupid bastard.”

Jensen scratched at the back of his neck, avoiding everyone’s gaze. “I freaked out, okay. Is that what you want to hear?”

“Jen, you’ve done nothing but freak out since the day we met!” Jared almost yelled. “Our conversation in the parking lot proves that.”

“Okay, for everyone in the room right now who is me, can someone please explain what is going on?” Mike asked, his voice pleading. “And did anyone else notice that Jared just called Jensen ‘Jen’ and he’s still alive?”

Jensen noticed that Jared was staying tight-lipped, so he left it up to Tom to offer explanations.

“I told you, Jared was a counselor at Camp Chitaqua this past summer,” he said in a tight voice. Jensen could tell he was just barely holding on to his anger.

Mike eyed his boyfriend warily before glancing back at Jensen and Jared. “Okay, I get that, fine, but now you’re…what? I don’t even understand why you’re keeping that a secret.”

“Chad doesn’t like summer camps,” Jensen said, his voice pitched low. “Doesn’t know Jared was working at ours, I thought it would be easier to just pretend we’d never met before.”

“So, what’s with the sex? Are you two together?”

Jared snorted. “No, ‘cause, see, Jen’s too fucking self righteous to lower himself to have a relationship with me.”

Jensen jumped to his feet. “Fuck you, Jared! You have no idea what’s going on here!”

“Then explain it to me!” Jared yelled, getting in his face. “‘Cause right now, I don’t think you even understand what it is you’re doing. I get that you’re scared, about whatever it is you’re feeling, because I am, too, but that is no excuse to keep me hanging on this string like a fucking puppet.” Jared’s voice grew softer as he took another step closer to Jensen. “Jen, you know what I want; I’ve made it as clear as I can. But I am not going to hang around and wait for you to man up and grow a set.”

Jensen glared at him, his teeth gritted almost painfully. “You don’t know jack shit about me, Jay, so don’t stand there and try to tell me what I’m thinking or feeling.”

He pushed past the taller man and headed for the door, escaping the apartment before anyone could stop him.

Jensen picked up his boots from the floor of the lobby and took the stairs two at a time back to his own floor, crashing through the door just as he heard someone following him.

He threw his boots in the general direction of his room and headed for the refrigerator.

“Get back there.”

He turned around before he even got the beer he was looking for, and glared at Tom.

“No.”

“God, Jensen, I swear to fuck, I will kill you,” Tom threatened. “You’re being ridiculous!”

“Then let me be ridiculous, Tom!” Jensen shouted. “It’s got nothing to do with you!”

The door to Chris’ bedroom slammed open and he emerged, wearing nothing but a pair of white shorts. “What the fuck is all the yelling about?!” He looked between Jensen and Tom. “Do you two even know what time it is?! I just went to bed an hour ago!” He blinked and turned back to Tom. “What the hell are you even doing here? You’re school is about two hundred miles that way.” He pointed to his left.

Jensen would bet a lot of money that he actually had no idea which direction UT Dallas was in. Or how far it was.

Tom didn’t even take his eyes off Jensen as he answered Chris’ question. “I can’t even be bothered coming up with a decent lie. I’m in love with Mike.”

Chris actually stumbled back against the door. “You’re WHAT?!”

Jensen spotted Mike standing in the door, looking more than a little uncomfortable at the family quarrel happening in front of him. He nodded his head a little at Tom. “Chris, meet Pattie.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Jensen saw Chris frown. “Thomas John _Patrick_ Welling. I don’t fucking believe this.” He turned to face Jensen. “You knew about this?”

“No, found out about ten minutes ago.”

“Fuck me sideways.”

Tom shook his head. “Look, we’re not here to talk about me and Mike. You,” he jabbed a finger into Jensen’s chest, “get back there and talk to him.”

“No,” Jensen repeated. “He made his feelings perfectly clear; he doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

Tom gawked at him. “Were you even a part of that conversation? Were you listening to anything he said?”

“I listened just fine!”

“Jensen, that boy is in love with you!”

“You think I don’t know that?! You think I can’t see it in his eyes every time I look at him and break his heart again? I know he loves me, otherwise he wouldn’t have put up with all the shit I’ve put him through over the last few months! But it doesn’t change anything, Tom. He’s not willing to wait.” Jensen’s voice trailed off, the fight leaving him. He sank down onto the coffee table and put his head in his hands. “I’m not ready and he doesn’t understand that.”

“Well, you better fucking get ready, otherwise you’re gonna lose him, Jensen,” Tom said. His voice was quieter now, not yelling so much as trying to make Jensen understand. “Can you please just explain this to me? I know there has to be more to it than the guy thing.”

“I’m fucking terrified, okay? I’m scared because I want to be with him, I’m in love with him, but I don’t know how to do this.” Jensen scraped a hand across his face. He didn’t want to say that. It wasn’t something he wanted anyone to know.

Tom frowned at him. “Don’t know how to do what?”

Jensen sighed. “I don’t know how to be in a relationship.”

“You dated Danneel for years,” Tom pointed out.

“Yeah, but he wasn’t exactly faithful, now was he?” Chris pointed out, causing everyone to turn to look at him as he crossed the room to stand next to Tom. “He was never really serious. Sounds to me like he’s more serious about this guy than even he realized.” Chris frowned. “By the way, since when do you suddenly chase boys?”

“I think it’s less _boys_ , more _boy_ ,” Mike explained.

“Chris is right,” Jensen said quietly. “I cheated every chance I got. I knew me and Danneel were never gonna last, but she’s my best friend. If I couldn’t be faithful to her, how can I be with…him?”

“Jensen, you just said it yourself, you and Danneel were never in it for the long haul,” Tom said slowly. “But you and…” he trailed off and flicked his eyes up to Chris before looking back at Jensen and continuing. “You and this guy? Man, I’ve never seen you so crazy over someone, ever, and I’ve known you your whole life. You let him call you ‘Jen’; you don’t let anyone call you that.”

Jensen snorted. “It’s not like I didn’t try to stop him, but he’s one stubborn bastard. Think that’s why I love him, he’s never given up.” Jensen paused as Jared’s words came back to him, and he stared in something akin to horror at his feet. “Except, now he has. I couldn’t get my shit together and he’s decided he’s had enough.” He scraped his fingers back through his hair, pulling on the ends of it as he felt his whole world crash around his ears.

Above him, Tom sighed. “No, he hasn’t, Jensen. I don’t think he’d ever give up on you.”

“You heard him, Tom; he says he’s done with me.”

“Maybe if you’d explained all this shit to me, I wouldn’t have said that.”

Jensen looked up slowly; half afraid he was imagining the voice.

Jared stood just outside the door way, looking over Mike’s shoulder.

“Thought you said you were done chasing me?” Jensen threw, unwilling to make the first move, even though he knew Jared had heard everything.

Jared shrugged. “Like you said, I’m a pretty stubborn guy.”

“Jared? Jared’s the guy? The new guy from downstairs is your summer boy-toy?” Chris yelled.

“He’s not my boy-toy,” Jensen snapped.

“Yeah?” Jared pushed past Mike and came to stand in front of Jensen. “Then what am I? ‘Cause right now, I’ve got no idea.”

Jensen jumped to his feet. “You think I know?”

“You’re the one holding all the cards, Jen. You’re the one who walked away this morning.”

Jensen rolled his eyes. “Not that it helped any.” He looked at Tom. “You know, if you hadn’t been on the stairs making out with your boyfriend, none of this would have happened. I’m holding you responsible for this whole thing.”

Tom’s mouth dropped open in shock.

“Stop blaming other people for your own problems, Jen, and answer the fucking question,” Jared insisted.

“I’m SCARED!” Jensen yelled at him. “I’m scared of hurting you, of breaking your heart, ‘cause I don’t know how to be a real boyfriend, especially not when I’m the boyfriend of another guy.”

“You don’t even wanna try?” Jared said, his voice soft, low. “You’d rather spend the rest of your life miserable and scared, afraid to take risks for the right person, instead of being with that person?”

Jensen didn’t know how to reply, he stared at Jared, shuffling his feet, trying to think of something to say.

“What are you gonna do if he starts seeing someone else?” Chris’ voice made Jensen jump a little, not expecting it in the silence. He turned to look at the other guy, and Chris shrugged his shoulders, the smile on his face displaying only sadness. “He’s not gonna wait for you forever, Jensen. He’ll move on, start dating. He lives right downstairs, man. Are you going to be able to deal with that, knowing that you turned him down because you were _scared_?”

Jensen would probably be touched by the fact that Chris was apparently supporting his sudden lifestyle change, if it wasn’t for the terror his scenario was evoking in his heart.

“You can’t date someone else,” he said to Jared, the words spilling from his mouth before he’d even decided to speak.

Jared smiled at him. “Give me a reason not to, Jen.”

Still, Jensen stayed silent, unsure.

Suddenly, Mike cleared his throat, drawing the attention of everyone in the room.

“Okay, don’t anybody kick my ass or whatever for pointing this out, but I’ve been living with Jensen for over three years,” he said quickly.

“We know that, dumbass,” Chris spat. “You got a point? Get to it.”

Mike leveled his gaze at Jensen. “Jensen, when was the last time you slept with someone?”

“Last night.”

Mike rolled his eyes. “Before Jared.”

“Last night of camp.”

“Before Jared!” Tom yelled, clearly understanding where his boyfriend was going with his trail of thought, and Jensen thought it was a little creepy that Tom knew what was going on in Mike’s head. Normally, he didn’t like to think about it.

Jensen paused. He actually had to think about it. “Um…Chris and Steve’s concert in May. Picked up some groupie, she got a kick outta fucking a guy in the band.”

“You’re not in the band,” Chris pointed out, as if that was the real issue.

Jensen shrugged. “Sang backing vocals for Steve’s solo set, didn’t I?”

Mike did the math in his head. “So, that’s almost five months. You rarely last five days.”

Tom nodded. “Five months and you haven’t even _looked_ at another person, let alone slept with anyone. You’re so scared of cheating on him and hurting him, but you’ve been so ass over elbows for Jared since the moment you met him that no one else even exists. Shouldn’t that tell you something?”

Jensen took a huge, shaking breath. It did mean something; he hadn’t even missed the sex, his head too wrapped around Jared to even contemplate hooking up with someone else. He remembered back to when he started to think of Danneel as more than a friend. He couldn’t deal with his feelings back then, either, but instead of freaking out and yelling at her, he’d gone out and fucked Suzie Carpenter, hoping that would be the way to get over the red head. It didn’t work, obviously, but the fact that his ‘normal’ coping mechanism hadn’t even entered his head as a way to deal with Jared wasn’t something he could dismiss.

Gradually, he raised his eyes from where he was staring at his feet to look at Jared. The taller guy had a slightly hopeful look on his face, and the thought of breaking his heart, again, was something Jensen just couldn’t take.

“How about we go to yours and talk without the audience?” he asked gently, and he couldn’t help but smile as Jared’s eyes lit up.

Jensen led the way out of his apartment without a backward glance, keeping his eyes downcast as he passed by Mike, still hovering in the doorway, like he wasn’t sure of his place in the discussion.

The journey downstairs was made in silence, Jared just walking behind him like a puppy, and Jensen suddenly realized that Jared would probably follow him anywhere, just like he would follow Jared, if the younger man allowed him.

“I meant what I said up there,” he threw over his shoulder as he shoved his way into Jared’s apartment. “I don’t know how to do this.”

“Then we’ll learn together,” Jared replied simply, like it was all so easy.

And maybe it was.

Jensen turned to face him, raking his gaze over Jared’s still naked torso, and he smiled, finally getting it.

“I was a real dick to you,” he said calmly, taking a step forward. “Why do you even want to be with me?”

Jared shrugged, matching Jensen’s step with one of his own. “Maybe I’m a masochist, maybe I like getting treated like crap. Or maybe I think you’re actually a nice guy, under all that shit you’ve been throwing at me.” He stopped in front of Jensen, his six foot four frame towering over Jensen’s slightly smaller six foot one. “Maybe I’d rather fight with you, than make love to anybody else.”

Jensen rolled his eyes. “Sap.” But he couldn’t hide the pleased smile that curved his lips.

“Maybe I want to get to know the real you, ‘cause I got a feeling that I’m gonna like him, a lot.”

“Can’t promise you that,” Jensen whispered. “You might decide I’m not worth it after all.”

Jared rested his forehead against Jensen’s, and Jensen closed his eyes, finally allowing himself to _feel_.

“But I’m not afraid to _try_ ,” Jared said pointedly. “Are you?”

Jensen shook his head. “No. I’m not afraid.”

Jared’s lips fell to his, and Jensen opened his mouth, allowing Jared’s tongue to sweep inside.

Jared pulled back a little, and Jensen almost whined at the loss of contact.

“Hey, if I drag you to bed, are you gonna wimp out on me and take off again later?”

Jensen opened his eyes and looked up. “I’m not going anywhere.” He sorta wanted to add _ever_ to the end of that sentence, but he wasn’t sure how Jared would take a declaration like that so soon.

Jared seemed to like what he saw in Jensen’s gaze, though, because he smiled, leaning down to kiss him again.

Despite his statement, Jared didn’t drag him anywhere, instead they kissed for a while longer, and it was slow, sensual, nothing like the heating kissing and groping they’d shared the night before.

Jensen slid his hands up Jared’s chest, curling his fingers into the defined pecs, and he grinned against Jared’s lips. Yeah, he could get used to this.

Jared had just pushed him up against the breakfast bar, causing memories of the previous night to flash through Jensen’s mind, when the front door opened, and a stifled gasp cut through the room.

Jensen tried to push away, embarrassment at being caught making out with his, shit, with his _boyfriend_ , making him want to run and hide in Jared’s room. But Jared held him in place, pulling away just enough to be able to speak.

“Well, this I was not expecting,” Chad said, but Jensen could hear the smile in his voice.

“You might wanna get outta here for a while,” Jared said, his lips brushing Jensen’s with every word. “Jensen can be kinda loud, and I plan to make him scream.”

Jensen didn’t really have enough room left in his brain for anymore embarrassment. He was too turned on by the fact that Jared was planning on making him scream.

“You’re kicking me out?” Chad exclaimed. “Not once have I ever sexiled you, and you’re gonna kick me out so that you can have sex with your boyfriend?”

Jensen pulled away from Jared to look at Chad over his shoulder. “Why? You wanna join in? We could have a threesome.”

He laughed as Chad choked on his own tongue, and Jared chuckled.

“Come on, Chad, it’s not like you don’t have anywhere to go. Just go hang out at Chris’.”

“I’ll probably still be able to hear you.” Chad sighed and rolled his eyes, but there was a smile on his lips when he looked at them again. “So, Jensen’s the guy you were telling me about, huh?”

Jared was gazing at Jensen with a look in his eyes, and Jensen knew love when he saw it, and he felt heat curl around his belly.

Jared nodded in answer to Chad’s question. “Yeah, Jensen’s the guy.”

“God, you two are making me sick,” Chad mumbled. “Chris better have some beer.”

The door closed behind him, and Jensen and Jared just stood where they were, gazing at each other like love sick puppies. It would make Jensen sick, too, if it was anyone else.

“So, I guess we’re kinda out,” Jared said carefully, as if he was waiting for Jensen to freak out.

Jensen reached up to tangle his fingers in Jared’s too-long hair, pulling him down for another kiss, this one more heated than the last. “I guess we are.” He pushed Jared away from the breakfast bar, his fingers sliding down Jared’s chest to the tie on his sweatpants as he directed them towards the bedroom.

Jared pulled off his t-shirt, leaving it lying on the living room floor, again, before pulling him in for another desperate kiss.

Jared’s fingers were fumbling with the buckle on his jeans, finally getting it open and drawing it out of the loops before he popped the button and lowered the zipper, shoving his jeans and underwear down around his thighs. Jensen sat down on the bed, tugging Jared with him as he scooted back onto the bed fully, kicking his jeans off the rest of the way as Jared’s larger body blanketed him.

Jensen watched as Jared gazed at the marks he’d left the night before, running his fingers tips lightly over the red and purple bruises, causing Jensen to shiver.

“God, Jensen,” he murmured, his lips trailing along Jensen’s collarbone. “You have no idea how fucking amazing you are.”

“Hey,” Jensen grabbed Jared by the hair, yanking his lips away from his skin, forcing the younger man to look at him. He saw the uncertainty in Jared’s eyes and he stroked a hand across his face to make the expression disappear.

Jensen reached up to kiss him again, and he whispered against his lips.

“Don’t call me ‘Jensen’.”

The End.


End file.
